OK, so here is an update. I met my wife's friend on Saturday and everything went well. But I discovered that my wife's info was about as reliable as my info would be if I told her that a coworker wanted advice on a designer bag purchase. Basically accurate, but a lot of important details were incorrect.
My wife's friend may be 70, but she looked at least 10 years younger. Very fit and definitely not frail. Her shotgun was a Mossberg Maverick 88 that she bought about 18 months ago, so not an old, unmaintained gun left to her by her ex. She also had a Ruger LCR, with laser. In addition to these guns, we also brought my wife's Ruger SP 101 and my Mossberg Shockwave to the range. The Shockwave was just to show her how a light / laser combo works, and NOT for her to shoot (although I couldn't resist firing off a few shells). The SP 101 was to show her the recoil difference based on the weight of a revolver.
Friend had a bad shoulder and insisted on firing her shotgun from the hip. I was surprised that both she and I were able to maintain effective accuracy using this method. It probably helped that the target was only 10 yards out, of course, but that approximates typical HD distances in a normal house. We were able to fire a few rounds of birdshot, which she was very comfortable with. She also insisted on firing some buckshot, and after two rounds decided that she definitely wanted to stick with birdshot.
As for the revolvers, she was OK with the SP 101, but only managed to fire two rounds out of the LCR before deciding that the recoil was too much for her. I am currently exploring a couple options for a heavier / lower recoil revolver for her to consider. She is also thinking about getting something chambered in .22 caliber, which would be great on recoil, at the cost of stopping power.
At dinner, I did my best to answer her questions about the legal use of deadly force if someone was to break into her house. She also asked me about the rules and process for getting her LTC. All in all, it was a very good day. I got to meet a great person and she left with greatly increased confidence, especially after seeing what 5 rounds of birdshot will do to a target (yes, I know her gun will hold 5+1 but we started with an empty chamber).
Ding dong, the witch is dead