How guys should behave when unexpectedly approaching a lady

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AJ80
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Re: How guys should behave when unexpectedly approaching a l

Postby AJ80 » Sat Mar 20, 2010 10:56 pm

I've been away for a few days.
It's great to see other guy's perspectives as well and good to know I'm not the only guy who has had this happen.
I do think it shows why women should be prepared though. If guys meaning no harm can so easily and unintentionally come into a situation like that, how much easier would it be for those meaning harm to do so as well?
I think it's great that the women of this forum take personal responsibility and know how to handle themselves.

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troglodyte
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Re: How guys should behave when unexpectedly approaching a l

Postby troglodyte » Sun Mar 21, 2010 1:54 pm

Depending on the situation:

A nod and smile with a friendly "hello".
Stop and back up with a "sorry, I didn't mean to startle you."
Make an extra effort to move away or around, opening up more distance.
or some combination of the above.

Anything to try to alleviate her fears as quickly as possible.

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lovemybersa
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Re: How guys should behave when unexpectedly approaching a l

Postby lovemybersa » Tue Jul 20, 2010 3:18 pm

This is kind of an "edge of the blade" issue. If you are obviously trying to make it seem that you are NOT paying attention to me, I will be concerned. If you are a little too friendly and seem to be obviously trying to put me at ease, I will also be concerned. I think the "smile and nod" with a "hello" is plenty. I was pumping gas in my vehicle one time and a truck full of rowdy teenage boys pulled up and a couple of them go out and headed my way. I backed up and casually put my hand on my "hip" ;-) , just in case. Turns out they were on a school scavenger hunt and needed a pic of them pumping someones gasoline. I said ok, but I backed further up and around the truck from them and kept my "hand on hip" pose until they left. Harmless, but you never know. Another time, before I got my CHL, I had a new baby, a year and a half toddler, and an 8yr old in the car and this white panel van pulls up with these very obviously on something guys, looked like meth-heads. "Hey lady, wanna buy a stereo? Come check them out in the back of the van..." Yeah, right! I peeled out and called 911 while I was at it. That was one of the reasons I decided to pursue my CHL. What could I have done to protect my kids if the bad guys had a gun or grabbed me? Nothing.
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GreezyG
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Re: How guys should behave when unexpectedly approaching a l

Postby GreezyG » Tue Jul 20, 2010 3:34 pm

I was filling up at the gas station this weekend around sunset. A lady pulled by and her brakes were making a grinding sound that bugs me like nothing else in the world. I debated in my mind wether or not to talk to her, I eventually did. So I walked up to her car, stayed about 15 feet away and leaned into her. She was still a little nervous but I couldn't let her drive away without telling her she was about 10 minutes from complete brake failure.

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terryg
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Re: How guys should behave when unexpectedly approaching a l

Postby terryg » Tue Jul 20, 2010 3:37 pm

I am 6' 3" and my natural gate is *very* fast. Even most guys I am walking with usually step it up to keep up with me, or I will work to slow my pace down. There have been a few occasions where I have ended up behind a lone female and begin to, unintentionally, close the gap between us. Most of the time, I notice and intentionally slow way down until our paths diverge. I generally will smile and give a dorky wave (don't have to work to hard on that one - it comes naturally). :seeya:

That usually seems to do the trick to reduce the tension.
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Texas Size 11
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Re: How guys should behave when unexpectedly approaching a l

Postby Texas Size 11 » Tue Jul 20, 2010 3:54 pm

I had a similar situation back in my college years. I took a lot of one day a week late in the evening course because I was not a fan of waking up early. One night (and the sidewalk from the building was dimly lit) I was leaving class (and dressed quite nicely as I remember) and I was walking back to my car. There was a lady about thirty feet in front of me and she looks back at me and starts to sprint to her car. I am sitting there thinking whatwas that about? So I started chasing her screaming for her to stop - ok that part is a joke, but I did wonder what I did. Of course, I think about it from her standpoint - woman walking on a dimly lit path on a college campus by herself being followed by a man with nobody else around. That might freak me out a little bit too. Plus I walked fairly fast back in those days because I used to be thin and in shape. I felt guilty for unintentionally scaring her, so I am pretty cognizant of those situations now and try to make sure I give women plenty of space in those types of scenarios.
Never pet a burning dog...

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terryg
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Re: How guys should behave when unexpectedly approaching a l

Postby terryg » Tue Jul 20, 2010 4:04 pm

A know a couple of evenings I have stepped into an elevator occupied with a single female and was able to sense the increased apprehension. Not much you can do there but again but politely say hello or smile and stay on the other side of the elevator.
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lovemybersa
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Re: How guys should behave when unexpectedly approaching a l

Postby lovemybersa » Wed Jul 21, 2010 10:19 am

I have gotten off the elevator a time or two when by myself and a man got on. Not that I found them particularly disturbing, just being cautious... :thumbs2:
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