How to get my wife to get a CHL

Issues important to the ladies, with men and women welcome.

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jecsd1
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How to get my wife to get a CHL

Postby jecsd1 » Sat Jun 05, 2010 5:41 pm

Hi,
Let me preface that with a little background info. We have lived in Texas for 3 years. Before that we were both born and raised Californians (I know, I know). We're in our late 20's. I have always been exposed to guns, not overexposed. My Gradfather was an LAPD officer for 32 years and my father always had the old 12 gauge in the house for protection. I would skeet shoot occasionally as a youth but nothing extensive.

My wife was raised with almost no exposure to guns except for what we see on TV. Her father served in the Army for a few years in his youth so he knows his way around a rifle but doesn't own one. They are not anti-gun people but I get the vibe that they don't see a need to own them. They have always been respectful of me however.

I have had my CHL for a year now and own a few pistols. My wife has warmed up to the idea slowly and is now comfortable with me carrying anywhere I deem necessary (which is almost everywhere I go) but she's reluctant to embark on the CHL journey. She is proficient with the guns and we go to the range when we can. She seems to enjoy occassional shooting.

She asks me why she should get one when and I tell her because I can't be with her every second of everyday or I would and there would be no issue. Have any of you faced this situation? She cites the cost and the fact that she couldn't carry it most of the time she's out of the house (she's a public school teacher so thats out) as primary reasons not to do it.

I can't understand why someone wouldn't want to play an active role in their own well being and protection. I know if I work on her for another few years she'll probably crack but I worry about the interim, any suggestions?

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seamusTX
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Re: How to get my wife to get a CHL

Postby seamusTX » Sat Jun 05, 2010 6:05 pm

IMHO, you can't drag someone reluctantly into getting a CHL or carrying. Horse, water, and all that.

If you can persuade her to take a women's self-defense course like the NRA's "Refuse to be a Victim" or similar courses that might be offered by police departments or community colleges in your area, that will help awaken her consciousness. Self defense often comes across as a guy thing. Women can explain it to other women better than we can.

They'll probably start heating up the tar and plucking the chicken for me when I say this, but having a CHL and carrying are not the be-all and end-all of self defense.

Awareness of the need comes first. Situational awareness comes second. After that are techniques of avoidance, evasion, deterrence, de-escalation, and self defense with less-than-lethal weapons like pepper spray.

Most people can use these techniques to avoid most problems most of the time.

I don't think Georgetown is exactly a cesspool of crime and violence, either. ;-)

Meanwhile, encourage her to shoot for fun. Maybe get her to pick out a weapon for herself. Maybe you can get her to attend women-only shooting sessions.

- Jim
Fear, anger, hatred, and greed. The devil's all-you-can-eat buffet.

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Re: How to get my wife to get a CHL

Postby Quahog » Sat Jun 05, 2010 6:31 pm

Let me add to what SeamusTX said... see if you can get her to read Gila Hayes' - Personal Defense for Women http://www.amazon.com/Personal-Defense-for-Women-ebook/dp/B002U3CC6A and/or Kathy Jackson's - Lessons from Armed America http://www.amazon.com/Lessons-Armed-America-Mark-Walters/dp/0982248768/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1275780554&sr=8-1... both excellent reads but somewhat geared toward women.

This might get her thinking that her safety is as much her responsibility as anyone else's... and that includes you.
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Re: How to get my wife to get a CHL

Postby Hoosier Daddy » Sat Jun 05, 2010 6:47 pm

How about taking a NRA Personal Protection class together?
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jecsd1
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Re: How to get my wife to get a CHL

Postby jecsd1 » Sat Jun 05, 2010 7:27 pm

all great ideas. I especially like the idea of taking a defense class together. Where would I find info on that, NRA cite? I'll look at those books too. Thanks!

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seamusTX
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Re: How to get my wife to get a CHL

Postby seamusTX » Sat Jun 05, 2010 8:51 pm

Try K.R. Training. They have a good reputation. I know nothing first-hand about the place.

Some couples can do new learning experiences together. Some not so well. That is why women-only classes exist.

My only other word of advice here is that someone who is iffy about getting a CHL probably does not need to be pushed into super-ninja force-on-force training.

- Jim

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Re: How to get my wife to get a CHL

Postby Charles L. Cotton » Sat Jun 05, 2010 9:06 pm

jecsd1 wrote:Hi,
Let me preface that with a little background info. We have lived in Texas for 3 years. Before that we were both born and raised Californians (I know, I know). We're in our late 20's. I have always been exposed to guns, not overexposed. My Gradfather was an LAPD officer for 32 years and my father always had the old 12 gauge in the house for protection. I would skeet shoot occasionally as a youth but nothing extensive.

My wife was raised with almost no exposure to guns except for what we see on TV. Her father served in the Army for a few years in his youth so he knows his way around a rifle but doesn't own one. They are not anti-gun people but I get the vibe that they don't see a need to own them. They have always been respectful of me however.

I have had my CHL for a year now and own a few pistols. My wife has warmed up to the idea slowly and is now comfortable with me carrying anywhere I deem necessary (which is almost everywhere I go) but she's reluctant to embark on the CHL journey. She is proficient with the guns and we go to the range when we can. She seems to enjoy occassional shooting.

She asks me why she should get one when and I tell her because I can't be with her every second of everyday or I would and there would be no issue. Have any of you faced this situation? She cites the cost and the fact that she couldn't carry it most of the time she's out of the house (she's a public school teacher so thats out) as primary reasons not to do it.

I can't understand why someone wouldn't want to play an active role in their own well being and protection. I know if I work on her for another few years she'll probably crack but I worry about the interim, any suggestions?


You may want to consider presenting a CHL to her as nothing more than an option. She can choose to carry or not carry as she sees fit. Without the CHL, she has no option.

Chas.
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Re: How to get my wife to get a CHL

Postby dicion » Sat Jun 05, 2010 10:28 pm

http://corneredcat.com/

Excellent site run by a woman about firearms, self defense, carrying, and all that ;)

The articles are well written, very informative, and from a woman's perspective. If you can get her hooked into reading them, they're worth it.

Specifically this article is a good start: http://corneredcat.com/Ethics/mrsdutoit.aspx

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Re: How to get my wife to get a CHL

Postby Quahog » Sun Jun 06, 2010 9:33 am

dicion wrote:http://corneredcat.com/

Excellent site run by a woman about firearms, self defense, carrying, and all that ;)

The articles are well written, very informative, and from a woman's perspective. If you can get her hooked into reading them, they're worth it.

Specifically this article is a good start: http://corneredcat.com/Ethics/mrsdutoit.aspx


That's the same Kathy Jackson cited above as the book author. And if I am not mistaken, she is Managing Editor of Concealed Carry magazine. Cornered Cat is a great web site.
"America needs God more than God needs America. If we ever forget that we are One Nation Under God, then we will be a Nation gone under." -- Ronald Reagan

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Quahog
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Re: How to get my wife to get a CHL

Postby Quahog » Sun Jun 06, 2010 9:37 am

Charles L. Cotton wrote:
You may want to consider presenting a CHL to her as nothing more than an option. She can choose to carry or not carry as she sees fit. Without the CHL, she has no option.

Chas.


I might also mention that Charles has a Ladies Only CHL class scheduled for 6/19 if you're around the Houston area.

p.s. When is the next LO class, Charles? My wife really wanted to attend this one but we'll be out of town on the 19th :cryin
"America needs God more than God needs America. If we ever forget that we are One Nation Under God, then we will be a Nation gone under." -- Ronald Reagan

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Re: How to get my wife to get a CHL

Postby MrsFosforos » Sun Jun 06, 2010 11:12 am

borrowed from another thread:
CompVest wrote:A person has got to admit that bad things happen and then admit that bad things could happen to them before they will consider personal defense as a priority.

I like Charles' reply from above too.
Charles L. Cotton wrote:You may want to consider presenting a CHL to her as nothing more than an option. She can choose to carry or not carry as she sees fit. Without the CHL, she has no option.
Chas.

I would much rather have one and never need to use it, than need one and not have it available.
Quahog wrote:I might also mention that Charles has a Ladies Only CHL class scheduled for 6/19 if you're around the Houston area.

Another great suggestion. Charles is a GREAT teacher - and so are all the others who instruct at the PSC! I wish we lived closer to Houston. They have great programs and make learning fun!

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Oldgringo
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Re: How to get my wife to get a CHL

Postby Oldgringo » Sun Jun 06, 2010 12:13 pm

CompVest wrote:

A person has got to admit that bad things happen and then admit that bad things could happen to them before they will consider personal defense as a priority.


This is it in a nutshell. Mrs. Oldgringo has her CHL. She has a neat little S&W 638 that stays in her Expedition. Every so often, I insist that she goes with me to shoot so that she'll remember how it works. She'll run a couple of cylinders through and hit COM in the target and say, "there". ( A S&W snubbie is not real fun to shoot and her XD 9 SC requires too much thought process to load, clear, etc.)

She won't carry it; however, she assures me that she knows how and will use the gun if need be. In her mind, nothing has required the use of a gun in the past 68 years so nothing requires it now.

Back to Square one - see Compvest quote above.

Good luck.

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Re: How to get my wife to get a CHL

Postby Texas10X » Sun Jun 06, 2010 12:47 pm

I agree with previous posts.

After reading this thread, I ran across the following news item and thought it hits close to this subject: http://www.wistv.com/Global/story.asp?S=12598387

You never know when something might happen. The woman in this report had the good fortune of having someone else with her who had a gun on them (not somewhere else, like in the car), knew how to use it and was in a position to protect her. That isn't always the case.
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seamusTX
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Re: How to get my wife to get a CHL

Postby seamusTX » Sun Jun 06, 2010 12:54 pm

Look at this, and you will never sit around the house unarmed or leave the doors unlocked.

However, as I said earlier, you cannot shove this stuff into someone's face. They will just shut down.

- Jim

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Re: How to get my wife to get a CHL

Postby Kevinf2349 » Sun Jun 06, 2010 1:03 pm

In addition to the great suggestions above, you could get her to subscribe the this forum, then she could see that there are other women that carry. Lets face it, we all (hopefully) carry with the hope that we never have to use it anyway) :tiphat:
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