Finally, a book that speaks to me. Review

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CHLLady
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Finally, a book that speaks to me. Review

Postby CHLLady » Sun Feb 23, 2014 10:51 am

I haven't read such a great woman specific self-defense book such as this one, since Armed and Female by Paxton Quigley.

Fight Like a Girl and Win: Defense Decisions for Women by Lori Hartman Gervarsi
Decide you are your own bodyguard.
Decide it can happen to you.
Decide to act on your instincts.
Decide to remain active versus reactive.
Decide to go nuts.

http://fightlikeagirlandwin.com/index.php

I have not even finished the book yet. I felt so inspired by this book and had so many lightbulb moments, I thought I should come here to share. This book is a MUST READ for women, young girls about to start dating without a chaperone, or heading off to college. I feel so strongly about this, I am going to buy more as gifts for my friends and young girls in my life.
Please, if you have a wife, young daughter, or granddaughter in your life, get this book.

She discusses various threat scenarios and describes best way to deal with these situations. She discusses intuition and how to act on it with do's and dont's after each one. She covers self defense tips also. I cannot praise this book high enough. She describes a situation that was similar to what happened to me once at the commissary of all places. I thought I was safe on base of all places and totally let my guard down. I don't want to discuss it here, but what she says to do in the book, helped give me permission in my mind on how to react if that situation ever happens again. Finally, a book that is speaking to me as a woman and answering those questions God-willing BEFORE they happen. Many women don't give themselves permission to act aggressively to defend themselves. She tells you exactly how to do it to a man and describes the ways men target you, the lightbulb will go off, and you will be prepared mentally for this attack, whether it's the first stage or not, you will know how to stop it in its track or fight like crazy.
If you carry a gun, people call you paranoid. Nonsense! If you carry a gun, what do you have to be paranoid about?

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Jumping Frog
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Re: Finally, a book that speaks to me. Review

Postby Jumping Frog » Sun Feb 23, 2014 11:21 am

How does she address the issue of women using firearms for self defense?

That is kind of a litmus test for me. If someone is claiming to offer self defense advice, there are several possible approaches to discussing firearms:
  • Warn people to avoid firearms for self defense because they might be taken away and used against them.
  • Present a lengthy list of alternative strategies (scratch his eyes, knee his groin, throw a frying pan, etc.) while ignoring the obvious one.
  • Realistically include firearms in a list of possible approaches. "One tool in the toolbox".
  • Frankly acknowledge that firearms are the most effective self defense tool.
If her approach is towards the top of the list, then I would have little respect for her advice. If it is at the bottom of the list, then I'll listen.
-Just call me Bob . . . Texas Firearms Coalition, NRA Life member, TSRA Life member, and OFCC Patron member

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Re: Finally, a book that speaks to me. Review

Postby WildBill » Sun Feb 23, 2014 11:29 am

CHLLady- When you are finished please post a review.

I haven't read the book. For others who may be interested, Amazon has the TOC and some of the text.

http://www.amazon.com/Fight-Like-Girl-Win-Decisions/dp/0312357729/ref=sr_1_fkmr0_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1393172817&sr=8-2-fkmr0&keywords=Lori+Hartman+Gervarsi#reader_0312357729
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Re: Finally, a book that speaks to me. Review

Postby CHLLady » Sun Feb 23, 2014 12:07 pm

I do see your concerns. I'll let you know her standpoint on guns, I haven't finished it.

This book is not about guns foremost, it's about empowerment, situational awareness, and instant reaction. For women, these are very important issues and is absolutely related to using your CH when needed. There are some members whose spouses refuse to carry, not all women can. Women don't think like men, as most of the men on this board have pointed out in the post joking about not understanding women. Please don't disregard the value of empowerment, we have situations in daily life where we cannot carry our guns or may find ourselves without it.

Ok, thank you Wild Bill. ;-)
If you carry a gun, people call you paranoid. Nonsense! If you carry a gun, what do you have to be paranoid about?


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Re: Finally, a book that speaks to me. Review

Postby CHLLady » Sun Feb 23, 2014 5:52 pm

Ok Jumping Frog, I finished the book. Sure enough the topic of guns for personal protection did not come up until the end of the book. The book was written in 2007. She cited stats from a book written by Karen Brock (A Deadly Myth: Women, Handguns, and Self-defense) and took the info. From the Violence Policy Center. I went to their page and read their stats from 1998. Basically, they claim the FBI stats show that guns are used against women more often than women use guns for self defense. They said among many other things that women who own guns are rare. I believe this is outdated.

In her book she talks about using anything to your advantage, from staplers to fireplace pokers. It's putting yourself in each situation wherever you are and forcing yourself to be situationally aware and using every advantage you have. She does recommend that if you choose a gun to keep it secured from your children, put time into it and really learn how to use it, and know the local laws. It's important to mention that she is the daughter of a police chief, lives in California, and is a highly trained black belt in karate.

As I was reading the book, I was tagging the pages, gave up and grabbed a highlighter. She takes self-defense for women from the total basics of mental training and builds you up to going full out crazy on the BG. She not only uses examples of fighting back, but also compliance. You must use your instincts and your own judgement in the moment as to what to do.
To be honest, I was a bit disappointed on the subject of guns for personal use. I would hope that if she were to update this book, she would give much more consideration to the benefits to carrying by speaking with Paxton Quigley and Carrie Lightfoot. Women who carry and are highly trained and promote self defense for women. Although the book does not promote guns for women, I still believe this book is an excellent training book for mentally being there, ready in the moment to deal with a bad situation, instead of over thinking the situation and talking yourself out of what your instincts are telling you is alarming as many women do. She reminds women of all the tools we have and to use them. There are other books that discuss and promote gun ownership for women, even if this is not one of them, it's a must read.
If you carry a gun, people call you paranoid. Nonsense! If you carry a gun, what do you have to be paranoid about?

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Re: Finally, a book that speaks to me. Review

Postby WildBill » Sun Feb 23, 2014 6:17 pm

CHLLady wrote:Ok Jumping Frog, I finished the book. Sure enough the topic of guns for personal protection did not come up until the end of the book. The book was written in 2007. She cited stats from a book written by Karen Brock (A Deadly Myth: Women, Handguns, and Self-defense) and took the info. From the Violence Policy Center. I went to their page and read their stats from 1998. Basically, they claim the FBI stats show that guns are used against women more often than women use guns for self defense. They said among many other things that women who own guns are rare. I believe this is outdated.
Wow you are a fast reader. Thanks for the review.

I think the statement about women owning guns in old. The current 2103 stats from DPS show that 27.6% of CHL holders are women. That doesn't include the women who don't have their CHL.
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Re: Finally, a book that speaks to me. Review

Postby Sport Coach » Sun Feb 23, 2014 7:20 pm

Similarly, the book The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker is neutral toward anti gun but very worth a woman's (or anyone's) reading to utilize all non gun approaches of awareness and to learn general behavioral and psychological techniques of malicious persuaders.
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Re: Finally, a book that speaks to me. Review

Postby CHLLady » Sun Feb 23, 2014 7:42 pm

Yes, definitely old. The book could be updated and I plan to write to her and ask.

Yes, I am a very fast reader. ;-) I even started over after Jumping Frog's concerns, to ensure I did not miss anything gun owner related. It was only 258 pages or so. I also did dishes, tidied up a bit, and played puggy soccer with my dogs. Lol.

This book, after further thought, made me realize how much I may have lost out on having a father (parents divorced and mother re-married several times) and siblings in my life. Her father used to ask her to hit him in the abs as hard as she could and encouraged her to hit a bully. If you have brothers there is also fighting and rough housing that builds early fighting skills. I never had that. She even speaks about it and says, "Maybe fighting was looked down upon for nice young ladies in their home. If no one has given you permission to embrace your power, you're just going to have to do it yourself. ... Fight from the inside out."

Like I said, this book just spoke to me.

If anyone reads this book, please come and let me hear your thoughts! I'd like to know what you took from it.
If you carry a gun, people call you paranoid. Nonsense! If you carry a gun, what do you have to be paranoid about?


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Re: Finally, a book that speaks to me. Review

Postby a girl with a gun » Thu Nov 06, 2014 8:34 pm

The cornered Cat: A Woman's Guide to Concealed Carry Nov 22, 2013
by Kathy Jackson

http://www.amazon.com/cornered-Cat-Woma ... rnered+Cat

I've read this and it is more current, in fact it was part of putting me on the road to getting my CHL


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Re: Finally, a book that speaks to me. Review

Postby TomsTXCHL » Fri Nov 07, 2014 8:00 am

CHLLady wrote:Please, if you have a wife, young daughter, or granddaughter in your life, get this book.

I just ordered along with "In the Gravest Extreme" which had been on my shopping list. I was pleased to learn that the several No Rush Shipping $1 Credits that I'd accumulated recently with my Amazon Prime membership automatically apply completely to even a single book i.e. I had 4 credits so got $4 off.

Thanks CHLLady for tipping me on this. I will read the book too of course but hopefully it will cause my wife to "go crazy" when she needs to.

;-)

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Re: Finally, a book that speaks to me. Review

Postby RoyGBiv » Fri Nov 07, 2014 9:23 am

CHLLady wrote:Please, if you have a wife, young daughter, or granddaughter in your life, get this book.

Done. $6.98, NEW, including delivery, through Amazon HERE. No prime required.

Thanks for the tip. :tiphat:
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Re: Finally, a book that speaks to me. Review

Postby Abraham » Fri Nov 07, 2014 9:56 am

Before spending the money at Amazon, look into Abebooks.com or your local library.

When I buy from Abebooks, (they sell used books, most often in excellent condition) I find them averaging about $3.50 a book with free shipping.

They also have a huge inventory of obscure books too.


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CHLLady
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Re: Finally, a book that speaks to me. Review

Postby CHLLady » Fri Nov 07, 2014 10:44 pm

I'm so thrilled you all have ordered this book. I have loaned this book about 5 times since posting this review. It is currently on loan as we speak.

I've never heard of Abebooks. Thank you for telling me! I must go check it out.

I'm going to add another copy to my order list. I'm on a mission. I still talk to my girlfriends about situational awareness. It is just too important to hold back. This book totally changed my thought process on self defense. I hope and pray that if you teach a CHL class you will recommend this book to your students. :thumbs2:
If you carry a gun, people call you paranoid. Nonsense! If you carry a gun, what do you have to be paranoid about?

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Re: Finally, a book that speaks to me. Review

Postby tomdavis » Sun Nov 09, 2014 5:53 am

Thanks for the well written review and support. I bought it and hopefully your pitch will get my wife and daughter to read it. If they do then I want to talk about your writing something about other books I bought for them and have not been opened. :roll:
...for as long as but a hundred of us remain alive, never will we on any conditions be brought under English rule. It is in truth not for glory, nor riches, nor honours that we are fighting, but for freedom – for that alone, which no honest man gives up but with life itself. Arbroath, 4/6/1320.


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Re: Finally, a book that speaks to me. Review

Postby CHLLady » Thu Nov 13, 2014 9:26 pm

tomdavis wrote:Thanks for the well written review and support. I bought it and hopefully your pitch will get my wife and daughter to read it. If they do then I want to talk about your writing something about other books I bought for them and have not been opened. :roll:


Funny!

Well, I've figured out why wives won't carry. You husbands make them feel safe! You do too good of a job being the sheep dog, they don't feel it necessary to carry when you already do. The problem is you can't always be around. This is the point that needs to be made with samples from real life local news stories. Good luck!
If you carry a gun, people call you paranoid. Nonsense! If you carry a gun, what do you have to be paranoid about?


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