Chuck Norris

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joe817
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Re: Chuck Norris

#16

Post by joe817 » Sun Aug 16, 2015 7:07 pm

Chuck Norris uses a railroad spike for a toothpick.

And he chews on a nail instead of a straw.
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loktite
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Re: Chuck Norris

#17

Post by loktite » Sun Aug 16, 2015 7:11 pm

Saw Chuck Norris inside DFW airport when heading to relatives for a vacation in 90's. I was only one gate over, but it was boarding time for his flight... he was all smiles though :)

of course... that was only a perceived smile, as Chuck Norris doesn't smile, the corners of his mouth run upwards away from his fists.
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sjfcontrol
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Re: Chuck Norris

#18

Post by sjfcontrol » Sun Aug 16, 2015 7:23 pm

There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
Chuck Norris knows Victoria's secret.
Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.
Chuck Norris's computer has no "backspace" button, Chuck Norris doesn't make mistakes.
On a high school math test, Chuck Norris put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Chuck Norris solves all his problems with Violence.
Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".
Chuck Norris won the World Horseshoe Pitching Contest while they were still attached to a Clydesdale.
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Javier730
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Re: Chuck Norris

#19

Post by Javier730 » Mon Aug 17, 2015 12:40 am

Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear rug in his living room. Its not dead, its just afraid to move.
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Dragonfighter
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Re: Chuck Norris

#20

Post by Dragonfighter » Mon Aug 17, 2015 5:38 pm

Got to meet him while driving a fire engine for an episode of Walker Texas Ranger and later on another episode. A captain of ours arranged for all of the FD extras and was actually a roommate of Norris' in college. When Chuck Norris shook my hand he said (pointing to Skipper), "your looking at the only guy to ever beat me in a fair fight." Up to that point I always suspected some of Skipper's daring dos were embellished. Not any more.

Now, down to business:
"Chuck Norris doesn't mow his lawn, he just stands on the porch and dares it to grow."
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Re: Chuck Norris

#21

Post by papajohn1964 » Mon Aug 17, 2015 7:04 pm

Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer. To bad he doesn't cry.
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J Wilson
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Re: Chuck Norris

#22

Post by J Wilson » Tue Aug 18, 2015 7:05 am

Another Option
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LSUTiger
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Re: Chuck Norris

#23

Post by LSUTiger » Tue Aug 18, 2015 1:38 pm

Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience


When Clint Eastwood called the .44 Magnum "the most powerful handgun in the world" he didn't know about the thumb and index finger of Chuck Norris


Chuck Norris appeared as a contestant on Celebrity Apprentice. He fired Donald Trump.
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Re: Chuck Norris

#24

Post by RJGold » Wed Aug 26, 2015 8:13 pm

image.jpg
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AndyC
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Re: Chuck Norris

#25

Post by AndyC » Wed Aug 26, 2015 8:28 pm

Chuck Norris made Heisenberg certain.

Chuck Norris won a staring contest against a mirror, which blinked.
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Re: Chuck Norris

#26

Post by sjfcontrol » Wed Aug 26, 2015 9:04 pm

RJGold wrote:
image.jpg

Bwahahahahahah :smilelol5:
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Re: Chuck Norris

#27

Post by Eric Lamberson » Wed Aug 26, 2015 9:30 pm

Chuck Norris was wrong once--he thought he had made a mistake.
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C-dub
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Re: Chuck Norris

#28

Post by C-dub » Thu Aug 27, 2015 12:33 am

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Re: Chuck Norris

#29

Post by treadlightly » Thu Aug 27, 2015 10:32 am

Say it isn't so! Those trees are tied in a granny knot, not a proper reef knot (also known as a square knot to lubbers)!


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Re: Chuck Norris

#30

Post by ssnstump » Thu Aug 27, 2015 11:33 am

I always liked this one:

When Chuck Norris was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Never slap Chuck Norris.
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