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A handgun is a very personal thing. To be most comfortable with it, it should fit your hand, and it should be in a chambering that the user can handle and shoot well. What I have observed over the years and particularly of late with the ladies in the shooting club my wife leads is that guys, well-meaning though they may be, are often too quick to jump to conclusions rather than ask the right questions (if they even know the right questions to ask).

We frequently see and hear of cases where a lady walks up to a gun counter and the salesperson defaults to a small, light .38 revolver. "You can't go wrong with this, they never jam." seems to be one of the usual selling points. Never mind that the capacity is low, it is slow to reload, it has a short sight radius and likely sights that are difficult to pick up quickly and it is light and therefore lively when fired -- all else being equal. This also happens pretty frequently when the boyfriend/husband buys the gun he "knows" is best for a lady. What happens more often than not is the lady finds out for herself that it isn't a gun she particularly enjoys shooting (whatever the reason), so IF she goes far enough to get her LTC she probably won't practice with the gun and gain true proficiency with it.

This same story holds true for the more recent pocketable .380 offerings. They suffer many of the same shortcomings as the .38 snubbies. They tend to be reasonably difficult to shoot well due to the short sight radius, and they are often fairly lively in the hand (and with less to hold on to). They do come in lots of pretty colors and finishes, though...

At the other end of the spectrum are the guys who don't know what's "best for a lady", but simply know what is "best" or assume that they do. Some of these are the guys you hear laughing in the videos of poor ladies who were given a gun they weren't ready for and got a nasty, or even injurious, surprise. One lady in my wife's shooting club is an example. Her well meaning husband determined that they needed a handgun for defense of the home. He ended up choosing a 1911 pattern pistol in 45ACP. His wife might weigh 110 pounds, has small hands and has a healthy startle reflex. The 1911 does not fit her well, and she was immediately intimidated by the recoil. After shooting that gun under his supervision she developed severe flinching and she could not shoot the gun well. The thing is, she wanted to be able to shoot well because she feels strongly that she is responsible for her own safety as well as her daughter's. She now owns two guns of her own, an M&P 22 (full-size) and a Shield in 9mm, and she has her LTC. She shoots pretty well, but needs to alternate full 9mm with dry fire and the .22 to help eliminate the flinch that develops fairly frequently. I have to wonder if her flinching tendencies would be less severe if she had started out on the .22 rather than on a gun that did not fit her well and had a lot more recoil.

We guys have to consider a few things when it comes to dealing with lady shooters. The lady may have more experience/be more capable than we are with firearms. What level of shooting experience does the other person have (this needs to be answered fairly early)? Before trying to propose a solution / solve a problem, is our help wanted or needed? Do we possess knowledge or skills that really can help? What biases are we bringing into the situation and are they apt to be helpful? If we are helping with firearm selection, what is the gun to be used for? What is the person comfortable shooting? How does the gun fit their hands? Etc.... There are a lot of things to consider, but too often we guys want to solve problems, particularly for ladies or others that we think are less informed than we are, before we have all the information needed to arrive at the best solution. It is often better to slow down, ask good questions and then develop the solution with a solid understanding of the facts and variables.