Help with wife

The "What Works, What Doesn't," "Recommendations & Experiences"

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Chip
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Re: Help with wife

#61

Post by Chip » Mon Aug 24, 2009 9:08 pm

Or, take the Bugs Bunny approach.

Me: I'm carrying tonight when we go to dinner.
Her: No you're not!
Me: Yes I am!
Her: No you're not!
Me: No I'm not!
Her: Yes you are! And that's my final word!
Me: Yes, dear.
I will add, as a fifth circumstance in the situation of the House of Representatives, restraining them from oppressive measures, that they can make no law which will not have its full operation on themselves and their friends, as well as on the great mass of the society. - J Madison, Federalist #57

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lonewolf
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Re: Help with wife

#62

Post by lonewolf » Tue Aug 25, 2009 9:15 am

I'll have to think up a name for the Beretta....Perhaps "Barry"...... :mrgreen:

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Keith B
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Re: Help with wife

#63

Post by Keith B » Tue Aug 25, 2009 9:29 am

lonewolf wrote:I'll have to think up a name for the Beretta....Perhaps "Barry"...... :mrgreen:
All my guns have female names, so I would go with something like Betty. I name them with feminine names cause they're loud and when they speak, they breathe fire and you better listen! (j/k) :biggrinjester:
Keith
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Psalm 82:3-4


Pete92FS
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Re: Help with wife

#64

Post by Pete92FS » Tue Aug 25, 2009 11:07 am

Keith B wrote: All my guns have female names, so I would go with something like Betty. I name them with feminine names cause they're loud and when they speak, they breathe fire and you better listen! (j/k) :biggrinjester:
:iagree: "rlol" :smilelol5: So true - I couldn't have said it better myself.
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USA1
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Re: Help with wife

#65

Post by USA1 » Tue Aug 25, 2009 11:09 am

Pete92FS wrote:
Keith B wrote: All my guns have female names, so I would go with something like Betty. I name them with feminine names cause they're loud and when they speak, they breathe fire and you better listen! (j/k) :biggrinjester:
:iagree: "rlol" :smilelol5: So true - I couldn't have said it better myself.
i could add to that , but i don't want to get in trouble . :cool:
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Keith B
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Re: Help with wife

#66

Post by Keith B » Tue Aug 25, 2009 11:19 am

USA1 wrote:
Pete92FS wrote:
Keith B wrote: All my guns have female names, so I would go with something like Betty. I name them with feminine names cause they're loud and when they speak, they breathe fire and you better listen! (j/k) :biggrinjester:
:iagree: "rlol" :smilelol5: So true - I couldn't have said it better myself.
i could add to that , but i don't want to get in trouble . :cool:

Yeah, I am already skating on thin ice here. ;-)

I have mine main ones named Kathy Kahr (PM9), Sally Smith (S&W M&P 40), Suzy Smith (4" S&W Model 66 tricked out for PPC), Rita Ruger (Security Six 4"), Beauty (short for Black Beauty), for my Black Stainless Springfield 1911 Loaded, and for my prized safe queen, Debbie Diamondback (my Colt Nickel 2.5 inch Cold Diamondback.) Have others, but really never named them anything special since they were more utilitarian than 'my babies.'
Keith
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lonewolf
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Re: Help with wife

#67

Post by lonewolf » Fri Aug 28, 2009 1:53 pm

I guess Betty would work better. I would much rather my wife ask me if I have another woman than another man........ :shock: (Just my personal preference)

I can hear it now.....
"Is Betty nearby?" "Are you with Betty?" "Is Betty around?" "You spend more time with Betty than with me....!" :totap:


ckilmer75
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Re: Help with wife

#68

Post by ckilmer75 » Tue Oct 06, 2009 1:25 pm

chewy555 wrote:This is a question that I have been putting off asking for awhile. I had hoped that I could answer it on my own but so far no luck.
My question is: What can I do to help my wife see why I got my CHL and why I want to carry it everywhere that it is legal for me to?
Alittle back ground: I have been married just over 2 years. I got my CHL this last March. She knew that I was getting it and was ok with that. But now that I have it she does not like for me to carry. If I am going out by myself or without her then I carry. But if she is with me right now I do not carry. I have carried a few times when she was with me and she did not know. But I try to respect how she feels. I have tried talking to her about why I carry, but she just says that she can take care of herself.
I have told her that I know that she can, but there are things out in this world that not even she could take care of.
She wont even give me an answer as to why she does not want me to carry other then that she just does not want me to.
Can anyone point me to something that might help me with her?
Thanks for any help.
I had the same issue with my wife in the beginning. She has loosened up quite a bit since then, but she's still not into me carrying every time I leave the house. Heck, she even had a problem with me having it loaded (not chambered) while it sat locked in our bedroom safe.
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lonewolf
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Re: Help with wife

#69

Post by lonewolf » Tue Oct 06, 2009 6:37 pm

Now that I finally have my CHL, the wife has asked my why I take "that thing" with me everywhere we go. I said because I can. I told her that we spoke about this at length when I applied, and discussed the reasons in great detail. Now that its here, she is a little unnerved. Perfectly understandable. I carry and don't tell her. She gave me the stink eye once when she wanted to go pick up the mail at her PO box late in the evening and I buckled up. (I didn't go inside, just waited in the car). I told her that she could go by herself if she wanted to go that badly. I simply let her know that the reason she likes me to go with her to get gas, the mail, and little store runs is not necessarily to spend time with me, but to have me around because the world is a dangerous place. She wouldn't go alone to those places before I was armed. I told her that the only difference is that I am now better prepared to protect us both should the need arise. It's not like I'm going to be hunkered down in the back of the car, peeking out the windows for the BG with the gun in my hand, finger on the trigger.

Its truly a process for a lot of people. Try to make it a part of your life and not an issue. My weapon is concealed when I am at home just as though I were out to dinner.

Good luck!

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seamusTX
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Re: Help with wife

#70

Post by seamusTX » Tue Oct 06, 2009 6:43 pm

lonewolf wrote:Its truly a process for a lot of people.
There is a light at the end of the tunnel, and it's not an oncoming train. Be patient and persistent.

- Jim

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USA1
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Re: Help with wife

#71

Post by USA1 » Tue Oct 06, 2009 8:13 pm

my wife and kids are totally understanding of the situation but , they think its overkill that i carry two guns .
there's a little game i play in the car called .. guess how many guns daddy is carrying .

they have learned to say "both" :cool:
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Kevinf2349
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Re: Help with wife

#72

Post by Kevinf2349 » Tue Oct 06, 2009 8:21 pm

Remember the old Mae West line? Well these days the answer is "Yes, it is a gun in my pocket!" "rlol"
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Re: Help with wife

#73

Post by mymojo » Tue Oct 06, 2009 8:45 pm

lonewolf wrote:.... Try to make it a part of your life and not an issue. My weapon is concealed when I am at home just as though I were out to dinner.
Mine lays on the desk next to the mouse. :evil2:
"Dialing 9-1-1 is wise.... Expecting them to arrive in time to save you is foolish." - Tsung Tzu, The Art of War


Fotopro
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Re: Help with wife

#74

Post by Fotopro » Thu Oct 08, 2009 12:49 am

My situation is like this. My girlfriend couldn't understand why I wanted to get a CHL. She's not anti-gun, but just couldn't understand why I thought it was necessary to carry a gun around with me.
We were going to drive from N. Tx. to our house in Colorado and I mentioned the bear problem and that I should take the .45 with me just in case. Her immediate reaction was "not in my car you don't". I gave it some time and the next time I mentioned it she said "well, it's up to you" and we all know that means I shouldn't take it. Well, I took it because indeed it was up to me.
In Colorado we've had some problems with a neighbor dumping stuff all over their property and making the place a mess.
He came in one day with a trailer of construction debris and started dumping it on his property but right next to ours.
My GF went to speak with him and I said I'd go along too. She had a few words with him and nothing untoward occurred.
When we got back into the house she hugged me and said that it was comforting for her to have me there in case there was trouble. At this point she felt the bulge (yes the gun you perverts) and was irritated that I had indeed brought it with us.
A little while later she came to me and said " I'm glad you had the gun. If there had been trouble I know that you would have handled it well. In fact, it kind of turns me on." hmmm. We now have more of a "don't ask, don't tell policy". She doesn't ask if I'm carrying and I don't show it off to her. :txflag:
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Drewthetexan
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Re: Help with wife

#75

Post by Drewthetexan » Thu Oct 08, 2009 4:13 am

Here's a twist, perhaps, (and if already posted, sorry, it's late and I'm not up to searching for it), but what about dating someone new. Seems a fine line to walk and wouldn't be an issue necessarily, but odds are she's going to find it (my gun) sooner than later :mrgreen:, so how do I bring it up before we have an awkward, "what's that?" moment.

Do I follow the "concealed means concealed" mantra until the cat is out of the bag, then make like a california wildfire fighter and go for containment? I suppose I could probe a bit; strike up conversation oriented toward firearms and gauge her response; make an off-handed comment at some point about going to the range or something. But even if she is not anti-gun, there has to be a fair amount of trust between us to begin with, I'd think, before she'd necessarily be comfortable knowing I'm carrying. Me being the type that thinks everyone is out to get me, I'd kind of worry if she wasn't at least a little uneasy about it at first. I also don't want to scare her off or seem cavalier about it, which I'm not.

All of this, of course, is predicated on her not having a CHL herself, which would be a best case scenario if she did, however unlikely it is. Any experience with this? Thoughts?

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