Mom doesn't like guns

[mloamiller]

I've been carrying for about five years. About a year after I started carrying, I went to visit my mom for the weekend. I was carrying (concealed) when I got to her home, unloaded my car and we sat and visited for a while, my gun on my hip the whole time. We then went out to eat, where she sat next to me at the table, on my gun side. During dinner, she went to hug me and her hand hit my gun. She pulled back, somewhat startled and said "what on earth is that?" I told her what it was (she is my mom, after all) and she seemed shocked. "Well, I hope you don't carry that in my house!". I told her that was surprising since Dad always had guns (he died about eight years ago). I asked her if she was afraid of them, saying they aren't going to hurt someone by accident, but she replied it didn't matter, she didn't like them and didn't want me wearing it in her house. Since then, I'v always left it in my bag while in her house. I put it on when I'm out on her property (about 18 acres), but not in the house.

Flash forward to this weekend and she came to visit us and go to church with us Sunday morning. In the past when she's visited, I've always been careful to keep my gun out of sight and not let her see me carry it. I know it's my house/my rules, but I do this out of respect for her. I was getting dressed for church, trying to figure out how to carry. I usually wear a jacket, but don't put it on until we actually get to church, so I would normally wear it openly around the house after getting dressed, before we leave. However, yesterday, I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I still carried, but it put it on at the last minute and tried to position myself so she wouldn't see it. I think she may have, and didn't say anything, but it just felt weird.

Just curious if others experience anything similar with parents and if so, how they handle it.

Oh, and for what it's worth, I'm 50+ with two (almost) grown kids. Just goes to show you're always your mom's kid!

[Middle Age Russ]

Respect for your elders is an admirable trait that I was fortunate enough to be given as well (we are near the same age, so that may have more than a little to do with it). I think you are handling it well, though not having it on you at your mom's house is an imperfect solution. After all, most of us choose to carry not because we are going to dangerous places, but because we don't know when or where violence is apt to visit us. In my case, both parents (as well as my in-laws) are comfortable enough with my decision(s) to not be concerned either way, or they take comfort that I have made the choice to carry.

[SewTexas]

She's made it clear she doesn't want it in her home, so yes, you need to respect that.
However, you have made it clear that you carry, so, if she is in your home, she should expect not only for you to carry, but to see signs of your gun. Now, don't flaunt it, she's let you know it makes her uncomfortable and she's your mother, but I also wouldn't necc. hide it either.
Respect her feelings, but be yourself, you are the person she and your dad raised you to be. I hope that makes some amount of sense?

[RoyGBiv]

I think the OP handled it just as I would have.

Moms get lots of latitude (reasonable limits), even if it's in MY house.

[mloamiller]

Moms get lots of latitude (reasonable limits), even if it's in MY house.

[The Annoyed Man]

I've been carrying for about five years. About a year after I started carrying, I went to visit my mom for the weekend. I was carrying (concealed) when I got to her home, unloaded my car and we sat and visited for a while, my gun on my hip the whole time. We then went out to eat, where she sat next to me at the table, on my gun side. During dinner, she went to hug me and her hand hit my gun. She pulled back, somewhat startled and said "what on earth is that?" I told her what it was (she is my mom, after all) and she seemed shocked. "Well, I hope you don't carry that in my house!". I told her that was surprising since Dad always had guns (he died about eight years ago). I asked her if she was afraid of them, saying they aren't going to hurt someone by accident, but she replied it didn't matter, she didn't like them and didn't want me wearing it in her house. Since then, I'v always left it in my bag while in her house. I put it on when I'm out on her property (about 18 acres), but not in the house.

Flash forward to this weekend and she came to visit us and go to church with us Sunday morning. In the past when she's visited, I've always been careful to keep my gun out of sight and not let her see me carry it. I know it's my house/my rules, but I do this out of respect for her. I was getting dressed for church, trying to figure out how to carry. I usually wear a jacket, but don't put it on until we actually get to church, so I would normally wear it openly around the house after getting dressed, before we leave. However, yesterday, I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I still carried, but it put it on at the last minute and tried to position myself so she wouldn't see it. I think she may have, and didn't say anything, but it just felt weird.

Just curious if others experience anything similar with parents and if so, how they handle it.

Oh, and for what it's worth, I'm 50+ with two (almost) grown kids. Just goes to show you're always your mom's kid!

My mom even forbids discussion of firearms in her home in California. But when she visited my home in Texas for my son's wedding, she was interested to see my collection and she withheld comment.

[jmra]

My parents never had firearms around the house but my Mom had no objections when I bought a handgun from my cousin on my 18th birthday. She also knew I carried it everywhere. I guess she figured it I was going to help them work an inner city mission on Canal St. in New Orleans having a firearm wasn't such a bad idea.
Mom passed when I was 24 but for years Dad would enjoy going to pawn shops with me looking for deals on guns. In reflection, I think they became interested in guns because I was interested in guns. It was one of the many things we were able to share.

[mr1337]

Sounds like it's time to take mom to the range!

[C-dub]

Yeah, Mom does get some latitude. And if my dad weren't still around, she probably would have banned me from carrying in her house. They live in Kansas now, but are looking to move back to Texas this year.

That was many years ago and since then I open carry at their place whenever I'm there in and out of the house on their property. She doesn't even ask about it or seem to bat an eye anymore. I open carried around Lawrence and Topeka in and out of various businesses on one trip and told her about the experience and the lack of any concern from anyone. She did ask that I not do that when out with her, so I conceal when we're out. She asks me all kinds of things about where I can and cannot carry. One time, it seems like my dad got tired of it all and said she should leave me alone about it and that he was sure I'd checked into it all and knew what I was doing. She thought about it a bit and stopped asking questions in front of him.

I've taken my M4 with me on our last several trips and on the last one she was very curious about it and almost worked up the courage to shoot it. I did get some photos with her holding it and looking like she was shooting, but she just wasn't ready yet. We're headed up again in a few weeks. Maybe this time. My dad says that she was very good with his snub nose .38 police special many many years ago.

[RoyGBiv]

Sounds like it's time to take mom to the range!

Been there... done that... won't again.

Some folks are not properly wired for shooting safely.

[Charles L. Cotton]

I lost my Mom when I was 18 and my Dad when I was 26, so I was never in that exact position. I had several guns and I got my Dad, a WWII combat vet, interested in guns. Both died before I became a LEO and long before concealed-carry passed, so it was never an issue.

I think you handled it appropriately, more so than I would have done under the circumstances. I'm praising your response, not touting what would have been mine. I have never been asked not to carry anywhere, so I can only speculate how I would respond. People who know me know I carry and those who do not know me have no reason to suspect that I'm carrying, unless they know me by reputation. If I were asked not to carry, then I would honor that request not on legal grounds, but out of respect. I would honor the request by not going onto their property and this would apply equally to family members and the public. No one is honestly going to be afraid of me because I'm armed, so any request for me to disarm would be to make a political statement. I will not bend to the political wishes of someone who disagrees with me, so I would avoid the issue by not going onto their property. It would be up to them to decide which was more important, making a political statement or having time for us to fellowship. It guess it's somewhat of a "love me, love my dog" concept.

Chas.

[Charles L. Cotton]

My mom is 89 and a retired school principal still going strong. The only advice she has given me is "If you are going to bring your gun into the house keep your booger picker off the trigger" True story! She carried a .38 in her car for many years as a school principal in a rougher part of Houston and never thought anything of it. East Texas is now home to her and my stepdad.

BTW..His brother is E.G. 'Butch Albers", a member of the Texas Rangers Hall of Fame in Waco.

[ Image ]

That's a great story!

Chas.

[Abraham]

That's a heart warming photo Tim!