Chuck Norris

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Lynyrd
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Re: Chuck Norris

#61

Post by Lynyrd » Fri Jan 27, 2017 9:19 pm

There are no shark attacks while the sharks are watching Chuck Norris week. They are too scared.
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Keith B
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Re: Chuck Norris

#62

Post by Keith B » Fri Jan 27, 2017 10:32 pm

OK, just got this in email. Maybe Chuck has a replacement. :mrgreen:
Quote of the Week.

When asked what he thinks about General Mattis being considered for Secretary of Defense, Rob O'Neill (the man who killed Bin Laden), said,

"General Mattis has a bear rug in his home. It's not dead, it's just afraid to move".
Edit to add: Found the same joke on Chuck here viewtopic.php?f=83&t=79089&p=1005348
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ninjabread
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Re: Chuck Norris

#63

Post by ninjabread » Tue Jan 31, 2017 7:54 pm

Chuck's email address is gmail@chucknorris.com
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Bitter Clinger
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Re: Chuck Norris

#64

Post by Bitter Clinger » Tue Jan 31, 2017 9:42 pm

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לעולם לא תשכח

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WildBill
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Re: Chuck Norris

#65

Post by WildBill » Tue Jan 31, 2017 10:25 pm

ninjabread wrote:Chuck's email address is gmail@chucknorris.com
"rlol"
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Skiprr
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Re: Chuck Norris

#66

Post by Skiprr » Tue Jan 31, 2017 10:30 pm

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He only waits.

Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.

And, this classic:

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AndyC
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Re: Chuck Norris

#67

Post by AndyC » Tue Feb 28, 2017 4:14 pm

Chuck Norris died at his home in Texas this morning.

He has since recovered from this minor inconvenience and is reported to be hunting for the Grim Reaper.
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puma guy
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Re: Chuck Norris

#68

Post by puma guy » Tue Feb 28, 2017 5:55 pm

AndyC wrote:Chuck Norris died at his home in Texas this morning.

He has since recovered from this minor inconvenience and is reported to be hunting for the Grim Reaper.
:thumbs2: "rlol"
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ninjabread
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Re: Chuck Norris

#69

Post by ninjabread » Tue Feb 28, 2017 7:50 pm

Death is about to have a near-Chuck experience.
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Vol Texan
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Re: Chuck Norris

#70

Post by Vol Texan » Tue Feb 28, 2017 8:20 pm

Chuck Norris has more points on www.Texas3006.com than JustSomeOldGuy.

https://www.texas3006.com/topcontributors.php
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warnmar10
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When United tried to remove Chuck Norris

#71

Post by warnmar10 » Tue Apr 18, 2017 3:35 pm

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allisji
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Re: Chuck Norris

#72

Post by allisji » Tue Apr 18, 2017 4:57 pm

That giant crater in eastern Afghanistan? No, it wasn't the Mother of all Bombs, Chuck Norris was flying over when he suddenly sneezed.
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Jusme
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Re: Chuck Norris

#73

Post by Jusme » Tue Apr 18, 2017 5:03 pm

allisji wrote:That giant crater in eastern Afghanistan? No, it wasn't the Mother of all Bombs, Chuck Norris was flying over when he suddenly sneezed.

Yeah, but Afghanistan has promised him that they have now removed all possible allergiens, after a very short meeting with Chuck.
I also heard everyone was afraid to say "bless you" since it was already assumed.
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Re: Chuck Norris

#74

Post by C-dub » Tue Aug 15, 2017 7:41 am

Borrowed from Puma Guy in the meme thread. It needed to be over here too.
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Re: Chuck Norris

#75

Post by OneGun » Tue Aug 15, 2017 8:09 am

Chuck Norris was about to walk into a bar, but the bar ducked out of Chuck's way.
Last edited by OneGun on Wed Aug 16, 2017 10:55 am, edited 1 time in total.
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