Thought this was funny

Topics that do not fit anywhere else. Absolutely NO discussions of religion, race, or immigration!

Moderators: carlson1, Charles L. Cotton

Post Reply

Topic author
howdy
Senior Member
Posts in topic: 2
Posts: 1176
Joined: Sat Apr 25, 2009 9:16 pm
Location: Katy

Thought this was funny

#1

Post by howdy » Thu Mar 08, 2018 10:24 pm

AN OLD WOMAN WALKED UP AND TIED HER OLD MULE TO THE HITCHING POST.
AS SHE STOOD THERE, BRUSHING SOME OF THE DUST FROM HER FACE AND CLOTHES, A YOUNG GUNSLINGER STEPPED OUT OF THE SALOON WITH A GUN IN ONE HAND AND A BOTTLE OF WHISKEY IN THE OTHER. THE YOUNG GUNSLINGER LOOKED AT THE OLD WOMAN AND LAUGHED, "HEY OLD WOMAN, HAVE YOU EVER DANCED?"

THE OLD WOMAN LOOKED UP AT THE GUNSLINGER AND SAID, "NO,... I NEVER DID DANCE... NEVER REALLY WANTED TO."

A CROWD HAD GATHERED AS THE GUNSLINGER GRINNED AND SAID "WELL, YOU OLD BAG, YOU'RE GONNA DANCE NOW," AND STARTED SHOOTING AT THE OLD WOMAN'S FEET.

THE OLD WOMAN PROSPECTOR -- NOT WANTING TO GET HER TOE BLOWN OFF --STARTED HOPPING AROUND. EVERYBODY WAS LAUGHING. WHEN HIS LAST BULLET HAD BEEN FIRED, THE YOUNG GUNSLINGER, STILL LAUGHING, HOLSTERED HIS GUN AND TURNED AROUND TO GO BACK INTO THE SALOON.

THE OLD WOMAN TURNED TO HER PACK MULE, PULLED OUT A DOUBLE-BARRELED SHOTGUN, AND COCKED BOTH HAMMERS.
THE LOUD CLICKS CARRIED CLEARLY THROUGH THE DESERT AIR, AND THE CROWD STOPPED LAUGHING IMMEDIATELY.

THE YOUNG GUNSLINGER HEARD THE SOUNDS, TOO, AND HE TURNED AROUND VERY SLOWLY. THE SILENCE WAS ALMOST DEAFENING. THE CROWD WATCHED AS THE YOUNG GUNMAN STARED AT THE OLD WOMAN AND THE LARGE GAPING HOLES OF THOSE TWIN BARRELS.

THE BARRELS OF THE SHOTGUN NEVER WAVERED IN THE OLD WOMAN'S HANDS, AS SHE QUIETLY SAID, "SON, HAVE YOU EVER KISSED A MULE'S rear?
THE GUNSLINGER SWALLOWED HARD AND SAID, "NO M'AM... BUT I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO.

THERE ARE FIVE LESSONS HERE FOR ALL OF US:

1 - Never be arrogant.
2 - Don't waste ammunition.
3 - Whiskey makes you think you're smarter than you are.
4 - Always make sure you know who has the power.
5 - Don't mess with old people; they didn't get old by being stupid.
Texas LTC Instructor
NRA Basic Pistol Instructor
NRA Life Patron Member TSRA Member
USMC 1972-1979

User avatar

RoyGBiv
Senior Member
Posts in topic: 1
Posts: 7114
Joined: Wed Jan 05, 2011 11:41 am
Location: Fort Worth

Re: Thought this was funny

#2

Post by RoyGBiv » Thu Mar 08, 2018 10:52 pm

Now, that was pretty funny... But the part that made me laugh out loud was that "rear" was the only word not spelled with capital letters..
I am not a lawyer. This is NOT legal advice.!
Image
Nothing tempers idealism quite like the cold bath of reality.... SQLGeek


pushpullpete
Senior Member
Posts in topic: 1
Posts: 252
Joined: Sun May 10, 2015 3:44 pm

Re: Thought this was funny

#3

Post by pushpullpete » Thu Mar 08, 2018 11:06 pm

:iagree:
Hahaha, me thinks it said something other than rear.
Good joke tho.
:txflag: :patriot:

User avatar

carlson1
Moderator
Posts in topic: 1
Posts: 9410
Joined: Sat Dec 03, 2005 1:11 am

Re: Thought this was funny

#4

Post by carlson1 » Thu Mar 08, 2018 11:21 pm

I love it. :smilelol5:
Image

User avatar

RPBrown
Senior Member
Posts in topic: 1
Posts: 4186
Joined: Sun Mar 27, 2005 11:56 am
Location: Irving, Texas

Re: Thought this was funny

#5

Post by RPBrown » Fri Mar 09, 2018 8:25 am

:iagree:
NRA-Benefactor Life member
TSRA-Life member
Image

User avatar

JustSomeOldGuy
Senior Member
Posts in topic: 1
Posts: 805
Joined: Sat Dec 26, 2015 10:49 am

Re: Thought this was funny

#6

Post by JustSomeOldGuy » Fri Mar 09, 2018 10:51 am

6) never shoot your gun empty without immediately reloading (or having a BUG)
member of the church of San Gabriel de Possenti
lay brother in the order of St. John Moses Browning
USPSA limited/single stack/revolver


Abraham
Senior Member
Posts in topic: 1
Posts: 7819
Joined: Tue Aug 14, 2007 8:43 am

Re: Thought this was funny

#7

Post by Abraham » Fri Mar 09, 2018 10:58 am

...and stop posting with all capital letters.

I couldn't read it because all caps hurts my eyes.


Topic author
howdy
Senior Member
Posts in topic: 2
Posts: 1176
Joined: Sat Apr 25, 2009 9:16 pm
Location: Katy

Re: Thought this was funny

#8

Post by howdy » Fri Mar 09, 2018 3:08 pm

You are correct about the word "rear". It would not pass muster with the original word. Sorry about the capital letters. I just copy and paste.
Texas LTC Instructor
NRA Basic Pistol Instructor
NRA Life Patron Member TSRA Member
USMC 1972-1979

User avatar

Grundy1133
Senior Member
Posts in topic: 1
Posts: 883
Joined: Wed Mar 07, 2018 2:18 pm
Location: Gainesville

Re: Thought this was funny

#9

Post by Grundy1133 » Sun Mar 11, 2018 12:07 pm

howdy wrote:You are correct about the word "rear". It would not pass muster with the original word. Sorry about the capital letters. I just copy and paste.
but the original word is just the name of an animal....
Image
NRA Member

Post Reply

Return to “Off-Topic”