Jaws Of Life Needed To Remove Worship Leader’s Skinny Jeans

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The Annoyed Man
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Jaws Of Life Needed To Remove Worship Leader’s Skinny Jeans

#1

Post by The Annoyed Man » Tue Apr 25, 2017 6:04 pm

This story comes 24 days late......

http://babylonbee.com/news/jaws-life-ne ... jeans-off/
NASHVILLE, TN—CornerStone Church Worship Leader Matt Caskey reportedly went into the church men’s room after morning services on Sunday, only to discover to his horror that he was stuck in his skinny jeans and could not get out, sources reported Tuesday.

An embarrassed Caskey called a friend for help, who eventually gathered several more men who used a variety of methods and objects to try to free him from his airtight jeans which had adhered to his legs, all with no luck. When the groundskeeper deemed the situation hopeless, Caskey was forced to call the Nashville Fire Department.
He obviously doesn't carry IWB.........

See how I made that gun-related? :lol:
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Re: Jaws Of Life Needed To Remove Worship Leader’s Skinny Jeans

#2

Post by Take Down Sicko » Tue Apr 25, 2017 6:07 pm

Next time he should just paint them on instead.

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Re: Jaws Of Life Needed To Remove Worship Leader’s Skinny Jeans

#3

Post by Man from Nantucket » Tue Apr 25, 2017 6:11 pm

Now we know how God feels about jean splicing.

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Re: Jaws Of Life Needed To Remove Worship Leader’s Skinny Jeans

#4

Post by carlson1 » Tue Apr 25, 2017 6:11 pm

"rlol"
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Re: Jaws Of Life Needed To Remove Worship Leader’s Skinny Jeans

#5

Post by Mxrdad » Tue Apr 25, 2017 6:41 pm

Kinda off subject but........ On Fox News yesterday, they had Mike Rowe on. Since he is known as "The Dirty Job Guy", they put up an ad for some denim jeans. No biggie, but they were "dirty". Looked like mud on both of the legs. But the ad said they were new. Ends up, the dirt was a polyurethane applied to the jeans to make them look dirty. And the ad price was $ 450 (ish). They were designed for guys that wanted to have the dirty jeans look without being dirty!! What the ??? The crazy train just keeps on a rollin.
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Re: Jaws Of Life Needed To Remove Worship Leader’s Skinny Jeans

#6

Post by SQLGeek » Wed Apr 26, 2017 1:44 am

The Babylon Bee is awesome.
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Re: Jaws Of Life Needed To Remove Worship Leader’s Skinny Jeans

#7

Post by Jusme » Wed Apr 26, 2017 6:31 am

The Annoyed Man wrote:This story comes 24 days late......

http://babylonbee.com/news/jaws-life-ne ... jeans-off/
NASHVILLE, TN—CornerStone Church Worship Leader Matt Caskey reportedly went into the church men’s room after morning services on Sunday, only to discover to his horror that he was stuck in his skinny jeans and could not get out, sources reported Tuesday.

An embarrassed Caskey called a friend for help, who eventually gathered several more men who used a variety of methods and objects to try to free him from his airtight jeans which had adhered to his legs, all with no luck. When the groundskeeper deemed the situation hopeless, Caskey was forced to call the Nashville Fire Department.
He obviously doesn't carry IWB.........

See how I made that gun-related? :lol:

Was he a soprano in the choir? :biggrinjester:
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Re: Jaws Of Life Needed To Remove Worship Leader’s Skinny Jeans

#8

Post by Abraham » Wed Apr 26, 2017 7:09 am

Beta males like 'skinny' jeans, pretend to be competent, but couldn't change a tire if their life depended upon it, (afraid too, they might break a manicured, metrosexual nail) but for unknown reasons feel superior to working people...all the while pretending to champion "the people"...


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Re: Jaws Of Life Needed To Remove Worship Leader’s Skinny Jeans

#9

Post by cmgee67 » Wed Apr 26, 2017 7:32 am

Mxrdad wrote:Kinda off subject but........ On Fox News yesterday, they had Mike Rowe on. Since he is known as "The Dirty Job Guy", they put up an ad for some denim jeans. No biggie, but they were "dirty". Looked like mud on both of the legs. But the ad said they were new. Ends up, the dirt was a polyurethane applied to the jeans to make them look dirty. And the ad price was $ 450 (ish). They were designed for guys that wanted to have the dirty jeans look without being dirty!! What the ??? The crazy train just keeps on a rollin.

Dang! I could make a fortune selling my jeans then! They don't have no polyurethane they have real dirt from workin! That's gotta sell!


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Re: Jaws Of Life Needed To Remove Worship Leader’s Skinny Jeans

#10

Post by treadlightly » Wed Apr 26, 2017 8:39 am

Thanks for that interesting news story, TAM. I just sent a couple of Babylon Bee links to my wife.

http://babylonbee.com/news/feminist-her ... -building/

and

http://babylonbee.com/news/equality-win ... cant-even/

Victory will be that brief interval between when she posts them to Facebook and when she points sternly to the doghouse.

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Re: Jaws Of Life Needed To Remove Worship Leader’s Skinny Jeans

#11

Post by Abraham » Wed Apr 26, 2017 1:46 pm

cmgee67,

Sorry, posers avoid dirt, they just want pretend-dirt stains on their "I'm a laughable/sucker for paying this much money for fake dirt jeans", but hey man, look at my stubble, I'm manly...though the man-bun and skinny jeans should be a dead give away for these imposters. Hand them a shovel, post-hole digger, sledge hammer or a heaven forbid, a chain saw and they'd faint dead away...Most personify the non-masculinity of David Hyde Pierce...

The only time they might sweat is while 'spinning' or doing their 'kegal exercises'.

Can you tell I detest hipster, wannabe men, but are beta-males whose mothers and sisters possess more masculinity than they, but don't even have the honesty/courage that an out of the closet flaming gay has?

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Re: Jaws Of Life Needed To Remove Worship Leader’s Skinny Jeans

#12

Post by ELB » Wed Apr 26, 2017 3:02 pm

I have read several articles on the Babylon Bee's site and am still debating whether it is satirical a la The Onion or not... :shock: These days, Satire Is Dead.
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Re: Jaws Of Life Needed To Remove Worship Leader’s Skinny Jeans

#13

Post by SRO1911 » Wed Apr 26, 2017 3:45 pm

Pure comedic satire, same admin as onion.
When any govt, or church,says This you can't read, are forbidden to know, the result is tyranny and oppression. Little force is needed to control a man who has been hoodwinked; no force can control a free man, not the rack, bombs, not anything, you can't conquer a free man, at most you can kill him.

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Re: Jaws Of Life Needed To Remove Worship Leader’s Skinny Jeans

#14

Post by JustSomeOldGuy » Wed Apr 26, 2017 3:46 pm

Now contrast that with the Texas border region's take on "skinny pants". "rlol"

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Re: Jaws Of Life Needed To Remove Worship Leader’s Skinny Jeans

#15

Post by The Annoyed Man » Thu Apr 27, 2017 12:09 pm

ELB wrote:I have read several articles on the Babylon Bee's site and am still debating whether it is satirical a la The Onion or not... :shock: These days, Satire Is Dead.
The Babylon Bee is "The Onion" for Christians. Yeah, we laugh at ourselves too.... :lol:
Give me Liberty, or I'll get up and get it myself.—Hookalakah Meshobbab
I don't carry because of the odds, I carry because of the stakes.—The Annoyed Boy
My dream is to have lived my life so well that future generations of leftists will demand my name be removed from buildings.

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