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brianko wrote:You bring up a good point. There are those here who advocate various defensive postures ("Stay put and state your business," hands up in a stop motion, etc.) that seem to me to be overkill in certain situations. I think it boils down to that old standby, situational awareness: Someone approaches me in a parking lot with car trouble, and it appears to me he has a car and has car trouble, I doubt I'll take the same defensive posture as someone with car trouble with no car in sight .

The tactics I suggested were intended to be used in circumstances where one is reasonably concerned that the approach of a particular stranger in a particular situation is the prelude to a crime because the situation and the stranger's actions fit the profile of how a given crime is often committed. They would not be appropriate for the approach of anyone at anytime, e.g. at your neighborhood block party. Distinguishing when should and should not be used requires the exercise of good judgment.

Good judgment is developed through experience, which has been wryly defined as "what you get when you don't get what you want."

BTin wrote:I understand being nervous about being approached by a stranger. I think that it is natural. But at the same time, I don't want to be part of a societal problem (not saying you are) where no one is friendly to each other, everyone is suspicious, and I am thinking about drawing my gun at an encounter that doesn't warrant it.

I agree, and I was thinking of this as well - I don't want this "attitude" or situational awareness notion make me become some kind of hermit, that's for sure..

Check this out though - We were heading back today and I stopped off to get some gas and let my dog out to go potty. My wife and daughter went inside and I took the dog to the grass while the gas was pumping.

I saw this guy approach a lady about 50' from me, she had two dogs and was also in the grass. The guy had a hunter's hat on and walked right up to her. Her boyfriend (I noticed) was about 100' away pumping gas, but this guy didn't notice I guess. Anyways, he walked up to her and talked to her for a few seconds. I went back to my car and noticed him making a bee line for me now.. what the heck ARE THEY REALLY OUT TO GET ME?!?!?



So here I am loading my dog in the back in his cage and this "hunter" is approaching me - we're parked at the pump remember. He comes up to me and immediately I confront him (thinking of y'all during this!!) and state "Can I help you?" real sternly - yes I know, not the best choice of words, but I'm new to this..

So he says "oh no" and he looks in the back of my suv at my dog getting in his cage and he backs off saying he was "looking to see what kind of cage I have" and that he "used to have a cage but it broke" -- I'm like what the heck, where's this guy's dog then?!?

Anyways, he was backing off and ended up leaving me be, but I watched him go to his car - a beat up Cadillac with trim falling off. He goes into his trunk which is packed full of who knows what, and is pulling out plastic bags left and right (like grocery plastic bags) and finds one he likes and goes into the back entrance to the gas station - the entrance marked "Laundry".. I went inside to pee and sure enough it is next to the laundry - saw him in there messing around while I see a load cycling near him. I guess he was just doing laundy - on the side of the highway at a gas station... *shrug*

Anyways, I'm glad he left all of us alone. No idea what he wanted but I felt bad getting slightly defensive when this guy was probably legit - but how do you ever really know? What if he was washing blood off of his clothes??

</paranoia>

*sigh* This is a tough world we live in.. I guess I will try to minimize interactions with others when in unknown places and also try to limit my paranoia until I have a good reason.

Thanks all for the great discussion on this!!!

ps. I'm home as of 30 mins ago. Checked the mail and sure enough, USPS brought me my plastic in ~63 days from receipt of paperwork...

BTin wrote:I understand being nervous about being approached by a stranger. I think that it is natural. But at the same time, I don't want to be part of a societal problem (not saying you are) where no one is friendly to each other, everyone is suspicious, and I am thinking about drawing my gun at an encounter that doesn't warrant it. These are the things I also think about when I am carrying.

Being friendly to people is normal and healthy. I will sometimes talk to other women while waiting in line somewhere, etc.
Asking strangers for money or assistance, however, is inappropriate. If someone is truly in need of help, the best place to go is to relatives and friends. If you have none of those, then a church or other charity can help. A person walking up to a stranger and asking him/her for assistance is usually up to no good.

Again, this is not to say that you should never help people. There are always people that need help, and they are likely in your church or in your neighborhood. If you live in a very affluent area and attend an affluent church, then your pastor probably knows of charities that could use your volunteer time or your money, and your resources and energy would be used a bit more wisely. (If you do not attend church, there are other charities, such as the American Red Cross, that offer various forms of assistance.)