TexasCHLforum.com

date?

Shorts wrote:I echo the suggestions about bringing up hobbies and then pursuing a date at the range. When my husband and I were first dating I didn't know if he had guns but I figured he was friendly to them since he was military. I ended up catching a glimpse of the pistol he ket on an end table and asked if he liked to shoot. He said yes which was great for me so we decided to hit up the range for an outing.

Anyway, make it casual and go from there. Feel her out and get an idea of how you need to approach it. Should be able to tell you whether this is going to be an issue.

Thanks for a woman's viewpoint. How can you go wrong with this approach?

I was lucky. My bride and I were introduced by mutual friends from my pistol club, so she new I was armed before we even met, so it wasn't a problem :-)

Thanks everyone for some ideas!

Shorts, I will definitely take your advice, I like this approach. Easy going, no big deal

At the risk of hi-jacking this thread, I'd like to thank Shorts for her sage advice on dating and ask that she show us some of her leatherwork.

Shorts?

You'd be surprised how many people (especially women) really don't have a conviction one way or the other regarding guns; however, they only hear the bad things so they're of the opinion that "guns are bad" by default. Thankfully, since most of them only get their information from TV or movies, they aren't so set in their ways that they can't change relatively quickly. With just a little bit of explanation and factual conversation, I've had many "see the light".

Misinformation and assumptions are the most common problems I see. They think black rifles are illegal, you can't own a full-auto weapon, gangsters use AK-47's, all gun owners are loons, etc etc. Usually within a few minutes of talking I've disproved most assumptions and given them a quick education, and they realize that there actually ARE reasons for perfectly normal people to carry guns.

That being said, I haven't had a date since I got my CHL, so I don't know if this is relevant or not. LOL!

Actually had something like this happen last night. A couple of weeks ago I got back in touch with an old fraternity brother and invited him to come out with me one night. He hooked up with one of my friends and they've started dating.

Last night we were all over at his house and he was asking me what I thought about his "man bag" that he just got. I had to, of course, rib him about carrying a purse, and he mentioned how it's useful for carrying things like pens, other items, and has a special pocket with built in holster for his Kimber 1911. His new girlfriend made a big deal about why he feels he needs to carry a gun everywhere and is he paranoid.

I was there with one of the girls who was with me when my Octoberfest incident happened (http://texaschlforum.com/viewtopic.php?f=7&t=28009). I asked his new girlfriend if she would have thought I would need to carry at Octoberfest, and we all agreed that conventional wisdom would say that due to the number of police at an event like Octoberfest you would think you wouldn't need to carry.

I told her about what happened that night and how, even though I ended up not needing my gun, we were all glad I had it that night. She then saw his (and my) point that things can happen anywhere and any time and carrying doesn't mean you're paranoid but simply that you're prepared.

Unless I know she's anti-civil-rights, I drop guns into the conversation on the second date. Sometimes the first date. Depending on her reaction, I may talk about CHL or not. I haven't dated a girl yet who admitted that she carried, but I did have a girlfriend whose mother had a CHL. Most women seem okay with concealed carry and some have said they feel safer knowing I carry, but even in Texas there are a few who hate guns.

Tolerance of gun ownership and concealed carry is a requirement for Mrs. Right, but not for Ms. Right Now.

Anytime someone suggests I'm paranoid, I use logic.

Paranoia means I think someone is out to get me. I don't think that anyone is out to get ME.

I do, however, KNOW for a FACT that there are bad people out to get SOMEONE. I've never met a reasonable person who will dispute that.

SO...

I'm not protecting myself from someone who's out to get ME. I'm just prepared in case I run into someone who's out to get SOMEONE.

If that doesn't work, no hard feelings.

The way I did it with my wife was mention that I was going to the range (by myself) rather than invite her in casual conversation. I wasn't CC at the time, but her response wasn't negative (she mentioned her father used to hunt but that she didn't know much about guns.) Eventually I talked to her into going with me, and about 6 months after we got married we took the class and got our CHL's. Now she carries everywhere!

In fact, for our wedding party (we didn't have separate bachelor/bachelorette parties) we went skeet shooting.

Oldgringo wrote:At the risk of hi-jacking this thread, I'd like to thank Shorts for her sage advice on dating and ask that she show us some of her leatherwork.

Shorts?

Pics HERE

Good lookin leather Maam.

I agree with C-dub. Every woman you date, with the hopeful exception of the one you marry, is just a future angry Ex. I would caution you against giving her your real address, much less talk about CC!
All kidding aside though, I wouldn't bring it up until you are ready to take the relationship to a serious level. Unless you are intimate, she would not need to know. Concealed means concealed you know!

How do you know SHE'S not carrying and wondering how to tell you the same thing?

Seriously though, why not just handle it with her the same way you would have liked her to handle it with you if the shoe were on the other foot? (Just another woman's viewpoint).

Absent that, the range date is an excellent idea.

T.

Some strategic questions to try and determine her stance on guns wouldn't be out of line. Or maybe a carefully chosen movie that could help spark that conversation. I'm just thinking that we all try to be careful with our personal information these days and I consider my CHL to be personal information.