A question from my neighbor....

[The Annoyed Man]

Some great responses. Thank you very much. I am actually relieved to see that there really aren't any good options. At least I know that I am not overlooking something, and this will help my friend. He's away today, but I am going to show him this thread. I think these replies will help to steel his resolve.

[Pawpaw]

TAM, please let your friend know he's not the first one to go through this. My story (or rather my father's story) is different, but there are common threads running through them all.

Let him know there are plenty of hearts out here weeping with him as he goes through this ordeal.

[Excaliber]

To ask that a police officer, any officer, to respond differently if your father points a gun at him and does not comply with his orders forthwith is to ask for disaster. Think how that officer would feel, knowing that he had just blown away some dingy guy whose kid gave him a disabled pistol in the hope that it would give him the illusion of safety. Nope, bad idea from the get-go.

If grandpa, at whatever age, is unable to make sound decisions, then he can not be trusted to exercise good judgement in the blink of an eye and doesn't need a firearm in his hands, not only for his safety, but for his wife and anyone else visiting their residence.

Yeah, it's sad when someone suffers a disability early in life. My dad was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimers, so I understand that. My father didn't like it when the keys to his car were taken away, but we did it in as humane way as we possibly could saying over and over "we love you too much to let you hurt yourself, or to hurt someone else." Thankfully, circumstances were that the keys became a side issue shortly after that, but you have to be able to do that. And I expect my son to do the right thing when it's my turn... Be it guns, or a motor vehicle. I may not like it, but....

I wholeheartedly agree.

The downsides far outweigh any possible upsides.

[srothstein]

TAM,

I think the neighbor did exactly the right thing. I don't recommend giving any type of firearm back, either the replica or the non-working version. Just stand firm and explain that he is worried about the safety of both parents.

He did the right thing and can relax. I know he won't relax but will still worry, but I think I would have acted in the exact same fashion.

[rbwhatever1]

My Grandfather passed away in the late 80's, a few years after my Grandmother. He shot a few rounds at shadows with a 357 revolver one night when startled awake. My grandfather passed down all of his long guns and most handguns long before this and my dad tried to get him to pass down this last revolver after this happened but he flat out refused. My dad talked him in to replacing all his ammo with 38 rat shot and removed everything from the house. No more incidents occurred after the first one. Nobody entered that farmhouse unannounced or walked past any windows on the porch unless he knew you were there. He remained alert and functional to the end but at night everyone was very careful when stopping by to announce ones arrival outside of 38 rat shot range and waiting for him to open the door. Sometimes this wait was dreadfully long. He didnt drive so family and friends were there every day looking in on him, cooking and talking. He had a lot of stories and family history he would talk about for hours.

After my grandfather passed away my dad found a box of Winchester 357 Magnum jacketed soft points hidden in his bathroom in the cabinet under the sink all the way in the back corner with the flap ripped off. We joke about this today as the reason he sometimes took so long to open the door. He was probably reloading his revolver with rat shot.

Always a tough decision with family. Keep them close and take care of them the best you can...

[Richbirdhunter]

No is an ok answer. Dad I love you and I'm sorry but you can't drive anymore and you can't have any guns. It's not safe with your health. Dad you raised me right, you raised me to know the difference between right and wrong. Dad today I'm putting everything thing together that you have taught me, please trust me that I have your best interest at heart. I need to take your guns.

I had a very similar talk with my dad, he believed me in his diminished state and the rest of the family was grateful

[troglodyte]

No is an ok answer. Dad I love you and I'm sorry but you can't drive anymore and you can't have any guns. It's not safe with your health. Dad you raised me right, you raised me to know the difference between right and wrong. Dad today I'm putting everything thing together that you have taught me, please trust me that I have your best interest at heart. I need to take your guns.

I had a very similar talk with my dad, he believed me in his diminished state and the rest of the family was grateful

I had a similar conversation with my father. Not pleasant but respectful and he understood the reason.

[TXBO]

Dementia is a very difficult thing to watch. My prayers for your friend's family.

[SA_Steve]

Dementia or not, he still has rights. Be darn sure he does not find a way to hire a lawyer to get them enforced.

[karder]

While not a hangun(s), I remember having to take away mom's car keys. At some point, managing by exception becomes justifiable.

Your neighbor simply needs to do what he knows is right, however difficult. It's what honorable folk do.

Peace.

Your neighbor is dealing with one of the toughest issues a person can deal with. Taking freedom away from a stubborn and irrational parent due to a deteriorating mental capacity is really hard on all parties. I see a lot of things that could potentially go wrong with his dad having access to a gun, even a disabled one. If the family feels Dad is no longer mentally healthy enough to have a firearm, it is best to just take it and deal with the fallout of an angry father. I would probably collect the gun without telling him I took it. Depending on how bad his mental state is, he might not even miss it.

[WTR]

Dementia or not, he still has rights. Be darn sure he does not find a way to hire a lawyer to get them enforced.

His "rights" become much less of a factor when you have doctors and relatives willing to testify as to his diminished capacity.

[Richbirdhunter]

Dementia or not, he still has rights. Be darn sure he does not find a way to hire a lawyer to get them enforced.

I'm not sure how it works in Texas, but in Commiefornia if 2 doctors agree that the patient is not in control of their faculties some of their rights are revoked.

[WildBill]

Dementia or not, he still has rights. Be darn sure he does not find a way to hire a lawyer to get them enforced.

I'm not sure how it works in Texas, but in Commiefornia if 2 doctors agree that the patient is not in control of their faculties some of their rights are revoked.

Believe me, this is not something you want to do.

[Richbirdhunter]

Dementia or not, he still has rights. Be darn sure he does not find a way to hire a lawyer to get them enforced.

I'm not sure how it works in Texas, but in Commiefornia if 2 doctors agree that the patient is not in control of their faculties some of their rights are revoked.

Believe me, this is not something you want to do.

I would only go this route when he is a danger to himself or the people around him and he can't be reasoned with

[SewTexas]

Dementia or not, he still has rights. Be darn sure he does not find a way to hire a lawyer to get them enforced.

said lawyer is only out for money and needs to be run out of the bar association