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Everyone wanted independence when I was a kid. The quicker out of parental control the better. Establishing your own niche in life was a priority. Having your own place was a source of pride and entry into adulthood.

Now, kids remain in the parental home into their forties. They remain emotionally adolescent into their forties and beyond.

What happened and what's up with the parents who allow this?

Can't they see how harmful this is to their children?

Where is the pride in leaving home and creating your own sense of self?

My parents were strict and I wanted to do things they didn't like. I'm not talking about illegal or immoral things, mind you.

Many of my acquaintances wanted to get out of their parents' homes explicitly to do illegal or immoral things.

Others came from big families and just want some quiet space of their own.

Most of our first apartments were in borderline slums.

Now I see families where 40-something parents condone their adult offspring having friends of the opposite sex stay overnight, smoking dope, and worse. And they have a nice house in the suburbs with a bedroom for every resident.

Why would the kid want to move out?

- Jim

Abraham wrote:Everyone wanted independence when I was a kid. The quicker out of parental control the better. Establishing your own niche in life was a priority. Having your own place was a source of pride and entry into adulthood.

Now, kids remain in the parental home into their forties. They remain emotionally adolescent into their forties and beyond.

What happened and what's up with the parents who allow this?

Can't they see how harmful this is to their children?

Where is the pride in leaving home and creating your own sense of self?

Likewise, I am appalled at the number of grandparents who will raise the children of their children! What went on with the children of the first part that they were allowed to attain breeding age without having any sense of responsibility or a work ethic instilled in them?

What is this world coming to?

Abraham wrote:Everyone wanted independence when I was a kid. The quicker out of parental control the better. Establishing your own niche in life was a priority. Having your own place was a source of pride and entry into adulthood.

Now, kids remain in the parental home into their forties. They remain emotionally adolescent into their forties and beyond.

What happened and what's up with the parents who allow this?

Can't they see how harmful this is to their children?

Where is the pride in leaving home and creating your own sense of self?

I feel that this is specifically my generations fault (born 1958). Alot of folks grew up with the sense that we would "change" how things were done.

-I won't spank my kid.
-My children will be better off than I was.
-My child will be my best friend.

My generation (especially raised in suburbs, in the country it is a different story) took this to extremes. Even as a child I was alarmed at the degree of control that parents had over the school system in the form of the PTA. It seemed like any fringe lunatic idea had to be respected and tolerated by every parent, teacher and child.

Now we as adults pay for the sense of entitlement that we generated in our children.

I had 4 children from my first marriage. From what I can tell, they are jerks.

I have 1 child from my second marriage. He is spoiled, but has a fine inquisitive nature and knows when and where his limits are. I like to hope that I got things right on the child-rearing the second time.

/rant off

seamusTX wrote:I don't see it that way. I have a pretty good income, pay taxes, and have everything I really need. If I want a new toy, I can save for it.

If I can do another hour's work for more money, I do it. I don't get overtime at my main job, so I do a few side jobs.

That's part of the generation gap. Even working part time in school I have everything I really need. After I graduate I expect to have a higher standard of living but I should be able to live good without working too hard unless Obama continues the Bush economic plan. I'm going to school so I can get what I need with less work not become rich. Me and my friends want time more than money. Many of us have parents who are workaholics but we prefer the other side of the scale for work + life balance. I don't need a big house and a fancy car and I don't care about the Joneses.

Some of the things that I like to do in my spare time cost money.

Some are still free.

Maybe I should go back to swimming. I used to enjoy it, and I've got an entire ocean a few minutes' walk from home.

- Jim

amber wrote:

seamusTX wrote:I don't see it that way. I have a pretty good income, pay taxes, and have everything I really need. If I want a new toy, I can save for it.

If I can do another hour's work for more money, I do it. I don't get overtime at my main job, so I do a few side jobs.

That's part of the generation gap. Even working part time in school I have everything I really need. After I graduate I expect to have a higher standard of living but I should be able to live good without working too hard unless Obama continues the Bush economic plan. I'm going to school so I can get what I need with less work not become rich. Me and my friends want time more than money. Many of us have parents who are workaholics but we prefer the other side of the scale for work + life balance. I don't need a big house and a fancy car and I don't care about the Joneses.

Congratulations are definitely in order!

If your part time job presently provides for your room and board, tuition, transportation, insurance, etc. and still leaves money for clothes and recreation, you will really enjoy a full time job and all the benefits and freedom to be derived by the additional income. You're right: don't get caught up in office politics, you'll be happier and have more time if you don't have to deal with advancement and all of that promotion and retirement planning stuff.

Oldgringo wrote:... you'll be happier and have more time if you don't have to deal with advancement and all of that promotion and retirement planning stuff.

I agree about the advancement and office politics.

If you don't plan for retirement and you live past age 65, you will be trying to make do on Social Security and eating cat food.

- Jim

seamusTX wrote:

Oldgringo wrote:... you'll be happier and have more time if you don't have to deal with advancement and all of that promotion and retirement planning stuff.

I agree about the advancement and office politics.

If you don't plan for retirement and you live past age 65, you will be trying to make do on Social Security and eating cat food.

- Jim

Jim,

Upon reflection on my above commendation, I failed to mention that reproduction should also be avoided for several reasons:

* there are already enough people
* it hurts
* it's costly rearing young 'uns and trying to keep them out of trouble and see that they get some sort of education, etc.
* it takes time away from one's self indulgences

and the list goes on.

Yepper, life can be grand if one doesn't take it too seriously and/or has someone else footing the bills.

Oldgringo wrote:

seamusTX wrote:

Oldgringo wrote:... you'll be happier and have more time if you don't have to deal with advancement and all of that promotion and retirement planning stuff.

I agree about the advancement and office politics.

If you don't plan for retirement and you live past age 65, you will be trying to make do on Social Security and eating cat food.

- Jim

Jim,

Upon reflection on my above commendation, I failed to mention that reproduction should also be avoided for several reasons:

* there are already enough people
* it hurts
* it's costly rearing young 'uns and trying to keep them out of trouble and see that they get some sort of education, etc.
* it takes time away from one's self indulgences

and the list goes on.

Yepper, life can be grand if one doesn't take it too seriously and/or has someone else footing the bills.

At this point in my life I regret not having more children. Mrs. Anygun feels the same way. I just didn't have enough faith in my youth that my God would provide and was too selfish to trust Him.

Anygunanywhere

Oldgringo wrote:Upon reflection on my above commendation, I failed to mention that reproduction should also be avoided for several reasons:

NuvaRing FTW!

Oldgringo wrote:Yepper, life can be grand if one doesn't take it too seriously and/or has someone else footing the bills.

That's one of the biggest problems facing America today. The economy is struggling but the people getting those government checks think they're entitled to more money from the workers footing the bills. From the automatic pay raise for congress to AARP clamoring for more social security benefits for their members, government spending is out of control.

http://www.concordcoalition.org/files/u ... curity.ppt

Sodbuster wrote:I left home at an early age in the late 60's over long hair and now I rue long hair on a male of less than full maturity.

Heck, I have hair half way down my back...I think, just cause
it ticks off folks older than me and I'm 43!

But, I'm a redneck at heart...I imigrated here from East Texas!

...but I've always paid my own way and haven't been without a job
more than 3 weeks at any given time since I was 14 years old when
I got my first job deown at the full serve gas station...

Got no need for welfare, mainly because you become a slave
to the big white plantation up there in Washington DC.

seamusTX wrote:

Oldgringo wrote:... you'll be happier and have more time if you don't have to deal with advancement and all of that promotion and retirement planning stuff.

I agree about the advancement and office politics.

If you don't plan for retirement and you live past age 65, you will be trying to make do on Social Security and eating cat food.

- Jim

The way things are headed, I fear our progeny will feast on feline cuisine while contemplating what social security must've been like before it went belly up, and what it might've been like to actually secure a retirement back in the good old days before all the change change changes and yes we cans brought the greatest nation in history to its knees.