TexasCHLforum.com

Life is too short not to be honest and straight-forward. If something is on your heart, you should say it. The catch is, you have to commit yourself to being at peace with whatever the answer may be. If you can be certain that your heart will be at peace, one way or the other, you should ask. This sounds harder than it is.

When I asked my wife to marry me, I figured she would say "no" because she was way out of my league. I had known her for 10 years, and we had developed a good friendship, but we were kind of from different planets in many regards. Heck, at the time I met her, she was engaged to someone else, but she ended up breaking it off before the marriage. She was a very educated and sophisticated lady who moved in higher circles. I was a rough and tumble, blue collar, guns and motorcycle guy, with a tendency to drink way too much. I didn't think she would marry me, but I thought that if I did not ask, I would regret it for the rest of my life.
One night I asked her out (we were causally dating, much to the horror of her friends) and I asked her out of nowhere. She said "let me think about it". I figured that was her nice way of saying no. Afterwards, I felt great. I had asked her, so I had done all I could do, and it was out of my hands. I never mentioned it again and I never worried about it. A few months later, I had taken the day off from work and was at home changing the oil on my bike. I heard a knock on the door, and went up front and there she was. I was surprised to see her and asked "what's up?" She says, "I decided yes". Oddly enough, I knew what she was talking about, although it was nowhere on my mind.
We have been happily married for nearly 10 years now.

So, do what is on your heart. Act honestly and with good intentions, and let what will be, be.

TexasTornado,
Just let me know and I'll put on my tux:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fmX2VzsB25s

Some guys are clueless and need to be led by the hand. On the other hand, a lot of guys know exactly what's going on, but don't like change - just like the status quo.

Me and mine were babies when we got married (18 & 19). She asked me. We had been dating exclusively for almost a year. We were standing in her folks' driveway, leaned up against my car one night, and out of the blue she says to me: "so, are we gonna get married, or what?" Took me by total surprise, so I just said: "well, yeah, I guess so." (Real romantic, right?)

We went to a local JP a couple of weeks later. He married us in his office in the basement of the little county courthouse. His secretary was the witness. But, long story short, here we are almost 43 years later, and we haven't killed each other yet (so far).

You've heard lots of advice, but you know it's up to you to do or not do whatever you decide. So whatever you finally decide to do, sincere best wishes to you for a happy outcome.

thatguyoverthere wrote:Some guys are clueless and need to be led by the hand. On the other hand, a lot of guys know exactly what's going on, but don't like change - just like the status quo.

Me and mine were babies when we got married (18 & 19). She asked me. We had been dating exclusively for almost a year. We were standing in her folks' driveway, leaned up against my car one night, and out of the blue she says to me: "so, are we gonna get married, or what?" Took me by total surprise, so I just said: "well, yeah, I guess so." (Real romantic, right?)

We went to a local JP a couple of weeks later. He married us in his office in the basement of the little county courthouse. His secretary was the witness. But, long story short, here we are almost 43 years later, and we haven't killed each other yet (so far).

You've heard lots of advice, but you know it's up to you to do or not do whatever you decide. So whatever you finally decide to do, sincere best wishes to you for a happy outcome.

Aww, I think it's romantic. Far more romantic than my mom's "sure, but if it's easier to live without you than it is to live with you, you're gone."

Yes I'll marry you!...I would have loved it if i had been asked.

Well if nothing else, I've got an awesome line up here if he says no.

Sounds to me like he's happy and comfortable... unlike his marriage was. Maybe that's the key- he's happy and doesn't want to jeopardize changing it. You'll have to let him know that you see even better things for the two of you once you are married. Perhaps a family or whatever you two want to do.

And also let him know that dating isn't a permanent status for you.

I wish you guys the best of luck!

flechero wrote:Sounds to me like he's happy and comfortable... unlike his marriage was. Maybe that's the key- he's happy and doesn't want to jeopardize changing it. You'll have to let him know that you see even better things for the two of you once you are married. Perhaps a family or whatever you two want to do.

And also let him know that dating isn't a permanent status for you.

I wish you guys the best of luck!

To be fair I did tell him I was an all or nothing kind of girl and asked him if he was willing to do the whole marriage thing again before I agreed to date him.

We've been married 41 years. I remember talking about marriage and always understood she would marry me. On the night of our first date I knew she was the one.

I never got down on one knee or the like. We just started talking about setting the date.

She knew she was going to marry me before we ever dated. She just knew.

Good luck TT. Ask him. Make your own history.

If you have been together 1 1/2 years you should by now be able to tell his intentions. Rather than ask him to marry you I think I would ask him if he plans on asking you to marry him. If he is not willing to commit than you probably need to consider breaking the relationship. I know this is hard but if this is not going to where you want it than you need to move on. I am old fashioned and I believe the male should ask the female but I also believe the female should know if she is wasting her time. There are many women that don't want to marry and are happy with a live in type of relationship. Perhaps he thinks you are one of those women. Obviously you are not.

rotor wrote:If you have been together 1 1/2 years you should by now be able to tell his intentions. Rather than ask him to marry you I think I would ask him if he plans on asking you to marry him. If he is not willing to commit than you probably need to consider breaking the relationship. I know this is hard but if this is not going to where you want it than you need to move on. I am old fashioned and I believe the male should ask the female but I also believe the female should know if she is wasting her time. There are many women that don't want to marry and are happy with a live in type of relationship. Perhaps he thinks you are one of those women. Obviously you are not.

I know he intends on moving here. Our relationship has been mostly long distance getting together when we can make our schedules play nicely. So that's a pretty big statement of intention in some regards....unless he's just moving because obviously Texas is the best.

Okay, here's what you do. When he is at your place, get up, get your guns and range bag, start to walk out the door and say be back later. If he asks where you are going, say to the range with some of the guys. If he objects, say well there aint no ring on this finger

RPBrown wrote:Okay, here's what you do. When he is at your place, get up, get your guns and range bag, start to walk out the door and say be back later. If he asks where you are going, say to the range with some of the guys. If he objects, say well there aint no ring on this finger

Lmao. Oh if only he were the jealous type.

TexasTornado wrote: Well if nothing else, I've got an awesome line up here if he says no.

RPBrown wrote:Okay, here's what you do. When he is at your place, get up, get your guns and range bag, start to walk out the door and say be back later. If he asks where you are going, say to the range with some of the guys. If he objects, say well there aint no ring on this finger

And we have a winner!!!!