Will you marry me??

[TexasTornado]

Thank you all for responding with so much heart felt and honest advice. I will think on all ya'll have said and try to approach a conversation with him on marriage in a way that will be true to myself and to what we have together. You guys (and SewTexas) are truely awesome for having shared so much of yourselves in answering my question.

[parabelum]

You know we will be expecting an update, right?

[TexasTornado]

You know we will be expecting an update, right?

You got it. I probably don't get to see him again until November tho and something tells me this convo should be face to face.

[parabelum]

Probably so.

Good luck!

[TexasTornado]

Probably so.

Good luck!

Thanks!

[Abraham]

There's nothing wrong with a woman proposing.

That said: Be prepared for the man to possibly feel pressured and slowly withdraw from the relationship. Only you can gauge that in advance. I'm not being pessimistic, but realistic.

Plus, do you have much in common as in: Same religion, same attitude about politics, child rearing, entertainment, food preferences, pet preferences, outdoor activities, etc. Certainly, you can both have differing interests to a degree, but mostly having things in common is a good framework for a long term relationship.

You can't expect long term happiness if you are only physically attracted, but otherwise have little in common as one day passion will inevitably cool somewhat and having interests in common will sustain you.

[Abraham]

I neglected to mention you should know each other for at least 2 years before marrying.

Why?

You get to really know each other's good/bad points and which outweighs the other.

This is no small things.

I've known a number of folks who got married after just a few months into the relationship, quickly got married and almost as quickly got divorced because they didn't take the time to really get to know each other. A few of these folks sadly had children...

[TexasTornado]

There's nothing wrong with a woman proposing.

That said: Be prepared for the man to possibly feel pressured and slowly withdraw from the relationship. Only you can gauge that in advance. I'm not being pessimistic, but realistic.

Plus, do you have much in common as in: Same religion, same attitude about politics, child rearing, entertainment, food preferences, pet preferences, outdoor activities, etc. Certainly, you can both have differing interests to a degree, but mostly having things in common is a good framework for a long term relationship.

You can't expect long term happiness if you are only physically attracted, but otherwise have little in common as one day passion will inevitably cool somewhat and having interests in common will sustain you.

We differ slightly on religion but neither of us is really devout so no big deal. On politics we mostly agree but I'm far more outspoken (imagine that). Neither of us particularly want to have kids so we're good there. Entertainment food pets and activities we're golden on (he even understands my Batman obsession and supports my Dallas Cowboys)! We also have the same sense of humor which makes things a lot of fun :-) I'm not sure I'll ever convince him to go sky diving with me, unless our plane is on fire...but I do know he'd be waiting below (feet firmly planted).

[Abraham]

TexasTornado,

How long have you known each other?

I'm with you on having a similar sense of humor. My wife and I sense of humor often parallels, but not always.

Sometimes, my appreciation for slapstick goes unappreciated by my wife and sometimes my wife's sense of humor goes unappreciated by me as she's an uber-computer nerd having spent her working life with other such nerds. What these folks find funny sometimes makes me cringe. She worked for many years in the space industry as a Sr. Senior Analyst working on the Space Shuttle and other such things.

[G26ster]

Sometimes, my appreciation for slapstick goes unappreciated by my wife and sometimes my wife's sense of humor goes unappreciated by me as she's an uber-computer nerd having spent her working life with other such nerds. What these folks find funny sometimes makes me cringe. She worked for many years in the space industry as a Sr. Senior Analyst working on the Space Shuttle and other such things.

So Abraham, if someone tells you the key to a happy marriage is not rocket science, you can truthfully say, "yes it is."

[Abraham]

G26ster,

Soyintly, nyuk, nyuk!

[TexasTornado]

TexasTornado,

How long have you known each other?

I'm with you on having a similar sense of humor. My wife and I sense of humor often parallels, but not always.

Sometimes, my appreciation for slapstick goes unappreciated by my wife and sometimes my wife's sense of humor goes unappreciated by me as she's an uber-computer nerd having spent her working life with other such nerds. What these folks find funny sometimes makes me cringe. She worked for many years in the space industry as a Sr. Senior Analyst working on the Space Shuttle and other such things.

We've known eachother a year and a half.

Lol oh do I understand that. I'm a techie too. I call my man "Analog Man" when he tries to do things with computers phones etc he gets so frustrated it's adorable.

[couzin]

Ask away - time's awastin! Just not during cuddle time, that is when we are weakest. Just casual conversation, eg. 'have you ever considered getting married again?'.

[Abraham]

TexasTornado,

One more match.com question: Age difference? Not your age, just difference...

A friend of mine (female) keeps marrying men (her last 2) who're exactly 9 years younger than herself (I guess it's a coincidence) and it just never works out. Of course, to be fair, the other 3 were roughly her age and those marriages didn't work out either. So... Yeah, she's been married 5 times and is currently pursuing her 6th. She tells me she just can't stand being alone.

[The Annoyed Man]

If a girl had asked ME to marry her, I'd wonder what was wrong with her that she'd settle for me.

Seriously though, I don't think there's anything wrong with the woman asking, but just like any guy, she had better be ready for the possibility of "no", or "not yet". But if your relationship is strong and steady, and if your love and respect is mutual, then go head on and ask......or start dropping hints that the answer would be "yes" if he asked!