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My Son and Wife think I just over reacted to a situation that just occured.

My Son, age 22, heard a car braking hard and sounds like it ran into the ditch across from our house. He goes to check on it by himself with a flashlight. My Wife asked what is going on and told her to stay back. I get my gun, knife and flashlight, then drive my truck over but they had already left.

I yelled at my Son for going to check it out without someone with him and without any protection as he does not know the people, what or how it happened. Son and Wife think I over reacted and not concerned for the other peoples safety or injuries.

I explained that you call 911 first, go together, take protection to check it out since it is dark.

What do you think?

In this day and age, I think you are right.

Smokewagon wrote:In this day and age, I think you are right.

+2, That is what I would have done

I think you are right. Maybe add a cell phone & first aid kit to your load-out.

You don't know who or what their state of mind will be when/ if you find them. Could be joy riding teenagers, car thiefs, or someone that fell asleep at the wheel.

Yes sir. Could have been high on anything or running from law.
Worse, could have been high & running from drug pushers that they owed money too.

Son caught in the middle.

Age is probably the deciding factor in seeing "what could have been."

Flashlight to make sure of how many in the car, and injuries.
Knife to cut seat belts to get folks out of the car if need be.
Gun to put the car out of it's misery.

I think you had it right. You can't be too careful in that situation.

soccerguy59 wrote:My Son and Wife think I just over reacted to a situation that just occured.

My Son, age 22, heard a car braking hard and sounds like it ran into the ditch across from our house. He goes to check on it by himself with a flashlight. My Wife asked what is going on and told her to stay back. I get my gun, knife and flashlight, then drive my truck over but they had already left.

I yelled at my Son for going to check it out without someone with him and without any protection as he does not know the people, what or how it happened. Son and Wife think I over reacted and not concerned for the other peoples safety or injuries.

I explained that you call 911 first, go together, take protection to check it out since it is dark.

What do you think?

Should you have grabbed the gear noted before approaching an unknown vehicle that has apparently been in an accident outside your home? Sure...Can't disagree with that. When I was a kid, a guy on a motorcycle crashed into our backyard while running from the police. We didn't know about the police until Fox and about seven units rolled up 15-20 seconds after he'd gone end over tea kettle into the bushes and fence that divided our yard from a house behind us and then landed in my dad's garden.

With the above statement in mind, acknowledging that anything is possible and being prepared for it is certainly prudent. But if you really yelled at your son, that one part might be a little bit of an over reaction for the situation you described. This may be a disenting opinion from the rest of the guys here but think back to your non-violent dispute resolution material in your CHL class. Remember the discussion about barriers against communication? And more importantly, do your remember the three ego-states? Here's the deal...From what you described, in the AAR, you went into a parent-ego state and yelled at another grown man (it's irrelevant that he's your son in this instance) in an attempt to "enlighten" him about stuff the rest of us know and agree with about what could have happened and why it was necessary to take precautions before blindly running to the aid of potentially injured people.

What I'm trying to get it at, as a younger man speaking to another man who could easily be my own father, is that you might have ruined the message with the delivery method based on your description of the incident. I will concede that I may be getting it wrong and I've got the wrong image of this incident in my mind. However, the point lurking here for the benefit of others who might read it is that based on the situation you described, I don't see a reason to yell at anyone about what they did wrong. I think you'd have gotten a lot farther by calmly explaining to your son, now a grown man in his own right, how he could have done it better and why. YMMV and I do appolgize if I've over stepped my bounds on this one.

Not sure why, but I got a double post and a PHP error when I made the above post.

soccerguy59 wrote:My Son and Wife think I just over reacted to a situation that just occured.

That is the price you must pay for being right all the time.

Don't let it deter your sense of caution.

Whether or not you over-reacted can be debated. However, taking the opportunity to use a potential stituation as a drill is in my opinion a good thing.

Doing a +/- with family members after is an opportunity to do what if's for explaining your reactions and an opportunity for family members to have a say.

I think you have done good and I told my wife about it and she thought along the same lines as your wife till I explained several other variables that would be unknowns. Then she aggreed with me. You did right.

Dan20703 wrote:

soccerguy59 wrote:My Son and Wife think I just over reacted to a situation that just occured.

That is the price you must pay for being right all the time.

Don't let it deter your sense of caution.

I agree and your Wife & Son need a wake up call. They're not living in today's reality.

G.C.Montgomery wrote: What I'm trying to get it at, as a younger man speaking to another man who could easily be my own father, is that you might have ruined the message with the delivery method based on your description of the incident. I will concede that I may be getting it wrong and I've got the wrong image of this incident in my mind. However, the point lurking here for the benefit of others who might read it is that based on the situation you described, I don't see a reason to yell at anyone about what they did wrong. I think you'd have gotten a lot farther by calmly explaining to your son, now a grown man in his own right, how he could have done it better and why. YMMV and I do appolgize if I've over stepped my bounds on this one.

As one who remembers well both as a dad and a son. I believe you make a very valid point.

There are certain risks we take with any of our actions, the risks of alienation can be as devestating as real physical loss. I don't assume that soccerguy overboard, but its something worth considering in our relationships with our loved ones.

While some good points have been raised in this discussion. What is a proper responce if no handgun is available? should one bring a shotgun? or baseball bat? Perhaps someone is hurt. What risks are we to take for a total stranger. At the point mentioned in this scenario We really don't know if anyone needs our help. There are some situations where I will take a chance to help a stranger.

I think your both wrong; I would not have gone to check period, There problem, let them deal with.

Also, if you hop out with your flash light and Protection, they might react to you as an attacker and take you down, remember you’re not the only paranoid one out there.