Thunder Ranch's Funny quotes (Arizona)
Posted: Fri Mar 05, 2010 2:18 am
Shooting advice
Clint Smith, Director of Thunder Ranch, is part drill instructor, and part stand-up comic (Thunder Ranch is a firearms training facility in Arizona ).
Here are a few of his observation on tactics, firearms, self defense and life as we know it in the civilized world.
"The most important rule in a gunfight is: Always win and cheat if necessary."
"Don't forget, incoming fire has the right of way.."
"Make your attacker advance through a wall of bullets. You may get killed with your own gun, but he'll have to beat you to death with it, cause it's going to be empty."
"If you're not shootin', you should be loadin'.
If you're not loadin', you should be movin'.
If you're not movin', someone's gonna cut your head off and put it on a stick!"
"When you reload in low light encounters, don't put your flashlight in your back pocket.. If you light yourself up, you'll look like an angel or the tooth fairy... and you're gonna be one of 'em pretty soon."
"Do something. It may be wrong, but do something."
"Shoot what's available, as long as it's available, until something else becomes available."
"If you carry a gun, people will call you paranoid. That's ridiculous. If you have a gun, what in the hell do you have to be paranoid for."
"Don't shoot fast, unless you also shoot well.."
"You can say 'stop' or 'alto' or use any other word you think will work, but I've found that a large bore muzzle pointed at someone's head is pretty much the universal language."
"You have the rest of your life to solve your problems.. How long you live depends on how well you do it."
"You cannot save the planet but you may be able to save yourself and your family."
"Thunder Ranch will be here as long as you'll have us or until someone makes us go away, and either way, it will be exciting."
"The purpose of fighting is to win. There is no possible victory in defense. The sword is more important than the shield, and skill is more important than either. The final weapon is the brain. All else is supplemental."
"Don't pick a fight with an old man. If he is too old to fight, he'll just kill you."
"If you find yourself in a fair fight, your tactics suck."
"I carry a gun cause a cop is too heavy."
"When seconds count, the cops are just minutes away."
"A reporter did a human-interest piece on the Texas Rangers. The reporter recognized the Colt Model 1911 the Ranger was carrying and asked him 'Why do you carry a 45?' The Ranger responded, 'Because they don't make a 46."
"An armed man will kill an unarmed man with monotonous regularity."
"The old sheriff was attending an awards dinner when a lady commented on his wearing his sidearm. 'Sheriff, I see you have your pistol. Are you expecting troubl e?' 'No ma'am. If I were expecting trouble, I would have brought a shotgun."
First rule of of a knife fight: Don't be in it.
Second rule: Have a gun.
"Beware of the man who only has one gun, because he probably knows how to use it very well."
'The true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves what is behind him.' G. K. Chesterton
People that value privileges above principles will soon lose both.
"Those who hammer their guns into plows will plow for those who do not.." - Thomas Jefferson
Clint Smith, Director of Thunder Ranch, is part drill instructor, and part stand-up comic (Thunder Ranch is a firearms training facility in Arizona ).
Here are a few of his observation on tactics, firearms, self defense and life as we know it in the civilized world.
"The most important rule in a gunfight is: Always win and cheat if necessary."
"Don't forget, incoming fire has the right of way.."
"Make your attacker advance through a wall of bullets. You may get killed with your own gun, but he'll have to beat you to death with it, cause it's going to be empty."
"If you're not shootin', you should be loadin'.
If you're not loadin', you should be movin'.
If you're not movin', someone's gonna cut your head off and put it on a stick!"
"When you reload in low light encounters, don't put your flashlight in your back pocket.. If you light yourself up, you'll look like an angel or the tooth fairy... and you're gonna be one of 'em pretty soon."
"Do something. It may be wrong, but do something."
"Shoot what's available, as long as it's available, until something else becomes available."
"If you carry a gun, people will call you paranoid. That's ridiculous. If you have a gun, what in the hell do you have to be paranoid for."
"Don't shoot fast, unless you also shoot well.."
"You can say 'stop' or 'alto' or use any other word you think will work, but I've found that a large bore muzzle pointed at someone's head is pretty much the universal language."
"You have the rest of your life to solve your problems.. How long you live depends on how well you do it."
"You cannot save the planet but you may be able to save yourself and your family."
"Thunder Ranch will be here as long as you'll have us or until someone makes us go away, and either way, it will be exciting."
"The purpose of fighting is to win. There is no possible victory in defense. The sword is more important than the shield, and skill is more important than either. The final weapon is the brain. All else is supplemental."
"Don't pick a fight with an old man. If he is too old to fight, he'll just kill you."
"If you find yourself in a fair fight, your tactics suck."
"I carry a gun cause a cop is too heavy."
"When seconds count, the cops are just minutes away."
"A reporter did a human-interest piece on the Texas Rangers. The reporter recognized the Colt Model 1911 the Ranger was carrying and asked him 'Why do you carry a 45?' The Ranger responded, 'Because they don't make a 46."
"An armed man will kill an unarmed man with monotonous regularity."
"The old sheriff was attending an awards dinner when a lady commented on his wearing his sidearm. 'Sheriff, I see you have your pistol. Are you expecting troubl e?' 'No ma'am. If I were expecting trouble, I would have brought a shotgun."
First rule of of a knife fight: Don't be in it.
Second rule: Have a gun.
"Beware of the man who only has one gun, because he probably knows how to use it very well."
'The true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves what is behind him.' G. K. Chesterton
People that value privileges above principles will soon lose both.
"Those who hammer their guns into plows will plow for those who do not.." - Thomas Jefferson
