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Talk to your kids!
Posted: Thu Sep 30, 2010 2:08 pm
by steve817
I'm writing only after having time to settle down. Yesterday evening my 10 year old daughter asked if she could go ride her electric scooter in our quiet neighborhood as she always does. I was at work and my wife was in the shower. Like always she rides it out of our driveway, down the street ( sometimes around the corner) and back.
She was taking a little break and sitting in the driveway and a man described as a white male mid 30's to mid mid 40's pulled up in a newer model Mazda 3 and stared at her for the longest time. He then got out and went to his trunk, opened it and acted like he was looking for something, all the while watching her. She got scared and was afraid to come in the house, thinking he might come in behind her, so she took off down the street on her scooter. She said she remembered that there was some adults outside around the corner. The man got back in his car and followed her around the corner to where she was stopped, stopped his car and started to get out again when he noticed the other adults he took off.
She got back home and told my wife, who then called the police. One of the patrolmen told my neighbor later that it creeped him out enough to file a report. Another spotted a car nearby that matched her description and he asked her if she wanted to take a ride and check it out which she did but that car wasn't it.
My daughter knows that I carry and will ask me questions about it all the time. I have taken those opportunities to explain situational awareness and avoidance. Yesterday it sure looked like my baby had been listening since she switched to full red. I couldn't be more proud.
Re: Talk to your kids!
Posted: Thu Sep 30, 2010 2:16 pm
by Charles L. Cotton
For a parent, that's bone-chilling; especially for the father of girls. Your daughter did well to keep away from him and kept her composure.
Chas.
Re: Talk to your kids!
Posted: Thu Sep 30, 2010 2:42 pm
by steve817
Bone chilling is an understatement. Playing out all the what if's has caused me to lose a lot of sleep.
Re: Talk to your kids!
Posted: Thu Sep 30, 2010 2:49 pm
by Excaliber
Your talks with your daughter paid the biggest dividend of all, and saved your family from a heart rending experience.
Your post also serves as a stark reminder to everyone - wherever you live, it absolutely can happen there.
Re: Talk to your kids!
Posted: Thu Sep 30, 2010 5:05 pm
by Divided Attention
Made my heart thump to read this! I want to thank CompVest and partner for getting us thinking. When we moved a few years ago, we sat with our kids and did an emergency evac plan and where we would meet up in case of fire, gas leak etc. But had not thought about what they should do in case of a home invasion. One is away at college, but the way our home is set up they would have to go past the main house to get to our room or the restroom, so at the suggestion at our CHL class, we came up with a safe word we can remember easily, and we have to say it 3 times for it to be "real" otherwise she is to hunker down. We have also been talking a lot when we are out about paying attention to what is going on! Of course the fact they slept through Ike and trees falling on our home they might just sleep through anything.
Glad your baby had the herewithall to remember where other adults are ( an awesome add for getting to know your neighbors) and head for "safety". Praise that all worked out with a happy ending. Hug your kids daily!
DA
Re: Talk to your kids!
Posted: Thu Sep 30, 2010 7:28 pm
by Hoi Polloi
Divided Attention wrote:Of course the fact they slept through Ike and trees falling on our home they might just sleep through anything.
That reminds me of a news segment I saw years ago.
[youtube]
http://youtube.com/watch?v=rDzTOk8ZZB4[/youtube]
It is a harsh reminder that when we talk to our children that we must use terms, strategies, and concepts that make sense to them and which they are actually capable of executing under stress. We can't take for granted those things that seem simple to us.
Re: Talk to your kids!
Posted: Thu Sep 30, 2010 7:37 pm
by lonewolf
There are 82 homes in my neighborhood. I made sure all my children know the people I know and trust, so they can hopefully find a safe haven if caught in a jam on another street. I also made it a point to let the kids meet them in casual social settings so they could grow to trust them on their own. After all, one street over is a hundred miles to a scared child.
Re: Talk to your kids!
Posted: Thu Sep 30, 2010 8:33 pm
by steve817
I told her the only thing she didn't do that she probably should have done was told one of those adults. Maybe they would have thought to get a license plate number. It may be a good thing that she didn't though, with the plate number I could have had his address in about 5 minutes. That may not have ended so well.
Re: Talk to your kids!
Posted: Thu Sep 30, 2010 8:53 pm
by Divided Attention
Not to hijack the thread, but my BIL is a fireman and they promote the "voice recorder" fire alarms for homes with small children especially. Instead of just a tone it has a voice recording of your choice that comes on and sounds an alert. That way you can use their names and give brief instructions.
Re: Talk to your kids!
Posted: Thu Sep 30, 2010 9:33 pm
by RHenriksen
Steve, thank goodness this story didn't have a different ending.
It worried me to hear she went *away* from the house, and further away down the street. Did you talk to her about what you'd prefer if she found herself in a similar situation down the road?
Re: Talk to your kids!
Posted: Thu Sep 30, 2010 10:34 pm
by steve817
RHENRIKSEN wrote:Steve, thank goodness this story didn't have a different ending.
It worried me to hear she went *away* from the house, and further away down the street. Did you talk to her about what you'd prefer if she found herself in a similar situation down the road?
I did and I understand her reason for doing what she did. Not saying it was right. The garage door was open and she was afraid he would come in. She knew that Mom was in the shower. Although it's a kids scooter, it's pretty fast, you can't keep up with it on foot. Shoot, I can't keep up with it on a bicycle. She was probably down the road to the other adults before he even made it back in his car.
On another note she asked me if Mom knows how to shoot the gun. I told her that she does. Problem is if I'm not carrying it or at least at home with it, it's locked up.
Re: Talk to your kids!
Posted: Fri Oct 01, 2010 1:11 am
by RHenriksen
steve817 wrote:On another note she asked me if Mom knows how to shoot the gun. I told her that she does. Problem is if I'm not carrying it or at least at home with it, it's locked up.

Re: Talk to your kids!
Posted: Fri Oct 01, 2010 3:24 am
by Dragonfighter
My wife walked behind me as I read this thread this afternoon. When I got up she asked what had happened. My 14 yo and 17 year old were in ear shot and that started a good discussion. Something good from the experience of others. Thank God it turned out like it did!
Re: Talk to your kids!
Posted: Fri Oct 01, 2010 3:41 am
by TexasGal
Reading that made the hair stand up on my neck!
I hope someone catches the scum before he does something. Your daughter is fortunate you have taken the time to teach her awareness. It would be tempting to start teaching target shooting too! I know when my daughter was that age, I feared for her to even be in our back yard without me watching. The sad thing is I grew up in the 60's and rode horseback all over half the county alone without fear.
Not to scare you even worse, but I wonder if there is any chance the guy could come back? From what you have written, he may not know the cops were called. In a neighborhood in my town some guy tried to abduct kids more than once over a period of a few weeks until there was so much news about it and police presence, the attempts stopped. We build tornado safe rooms in houses these days. I think we should build bunker rooms for our kids.
Re: Talk to your kids!
Posted: Fri Oct 01, 2010 7:00 am
by Middle Age Russ
Steve817,
I praise God for several things in relation to this thread.
1. Your daughter came out of this OK, shaken but otherwise fine.
2. You, as a father, had the foresight to teach situational awareness to your family.
3. Your daughter listened and learned. When needed, the lesson kicked in and allowed her to think and make decisions which ultimately may have prevented something devastating to you and your family.
4. Your own moment-by-moment awareness and that of your family is a notch higher because this event makes painfully evident that "it can happen here".
5. You are already considering lessons learned from this and thinking of ways to further enhance your family's security (sounds like it may be a good time to think of quick but safe access to some weapon).
6. You chose to share this with others on this forum for the benefit of all who choose to read it.
You, and your daughter, did well. Thank you for sharing this with us. I have heard said that "Experience is a great teacher, but she gives the test first.". Hopefully each of us can look for lessons from this event that we can apply rather than being faced with a potentially devastating "teaching event" later.
God Bless,