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I live in a duplex next to a single mother in her late 30s with 3 young children ages 11, 6, and 4. The issue I have is this trash screams curse words at her children within her home, problem is the walls and windows are thin and I can hear every disgusting word coming from her mouth. The way she talks to her children makes me furious but as far as I know there is no physical abuse other than verbal. Ive thought about confronting her about this and letting her know that I hear the way she talks to her kids. What would you do in this situation?

Record it. Play it for CPS.

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RoyGBiv wrote:Record it. Play it for CPS.

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I doubt CPS would do anything. Ive called them out in the street when responding to calls and they act like its an huge inconvenience to do their job. Ive told a CPS agent on the phone that if they do not come out tonight and take care of these kids I was going to take them home once.

Record it and play it for the Landlord. Play it for anyone that will listen. As a last resort send the recording to local media and your state rep with documentation on how many times CPS has been contacted.
Find other child advocate organizations that could pressure authorities to take action.

Record it for proof and then turn up the radio.

Sounds like she is probably a stressed out single mother that is facing many challenges and has no hope for her future. I would (and will now) pray for the children and her. hopefully there is no substance or alcohol abuse taking place. In that case action w/ authorities is needed.

I wonder what the mother could possibly be saying that the 'chillern ain't hearin' daily on TV and in the schoolyard?

May be that more Mommas and more Pappas should quit trying to be friends with their offspring and try be parents? Just sayin'...

You can: talk with Mom over coffee or a glass of iced tea some day and gently let her know that you hear her being really stressed out with the kids, and ask what you might do to be able to help her from getting to that place. Maybe babysitting for a couple of hours to give her some time to decompress, or helping out on some chore.

Then, if the sugar doesn't help, you can take your recordings to the Police who will, if they deem it necessary, instigate the CPS response. Of course, you might casually mention that you're going to be talking with a new media outlet the next day, and would certainly hate to see something that alleges that the police and CPS weren't willing to stick up for the kids...

Of course,if CPS DOES do the ultimate enforcement, realize the kids may wind up in a worse situation, with grandparents or aunts/uncles that may not be able to provide well for them, or worse yet, in a foster home where things are bad. Of course, they might luck out, and get into a great home.

Surprise them with dinner.

Change the oil on her car.

Take the kids to the zoo and give her a day off.

Offer to pray for her.

It's no excuse, I agree, but I am sure she is stressed to the max. Try to lessen the load and help her out how you can.

To add what Gigag04 has said, do not try to change folks by treating them as they act toward others. They have more experience in the gutter than you.

It will require some Internet search, but try to identify a church with outreach in your neighborhood. If you are active in church, see if someone is available to volunteer time to reach out to this woman and her kids.

Stay on the high ground and you will gain the respect (and maybe admiration) of your other neighbors.
Carry on!
Nick

gigag04 wrote:Surprise them with dinner.

Change the oil on her car.

Take the kids to the zoo and give her a day off.

Offer to pray for her.

It's no excuse, I agree, but I am sure she is stressed to the max. Try to lessen the load and help her out how you can.

If you go this route be prepared to become responsible for the kids long term as many people would take advantage of your generosity. But a male role model may be exactly what the kids need.

jmra wrote:

gigag04 wrote:Surprise them with dinner.

Change the oil on her car.

Take the kids to the zoo and give her a day off.

Offer to pray for her.

It's no excuse, I agree, but I am sure she is stressed to the max. Try to lessen the load and help her out how you can.

If you go this route be prepared to become responsible for the kids long term as many people would take advantage of your generosity. But a male role model may be exactly what the kids need.

Mom needs a female friend who is kind, graceful, loving, and has integrity. The best counselor is the best listener.

My personal thought is this woman needs someone to probably be able to talk to. If you are married you are placing yourself in a dangerous position. Just my two cents.

carlson1 wrote:

jmra wrote:

gigag04 wrote:Surprise them with dinner.

Change the oil on her car.

Take the kids to the zoo and give her a day off.

Offer to pray for her.

It's no excuse, I agree, but I am sure she is stressed to the max. Try to lessen the load and help her out how you can.

If you go this route be prepared to become responsible for the kids long term as many people would take advantage of your generosity. But a male role model may be exactly what the kids need.

Mom needs a female friend who is kind, graceful, loving, and has integrity. The best counselor is the best listener.

My personal thought is this woman needs someone to probably be able to talk to. <SNIP>

This is Biblical,

older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good,
so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, (Titus 2:3-4, NASB)

gigag04 wrote:Surprise them with dinner.

Change the oil on her car.

Take the kids to the zoo and give her a day off.

Offer to pray for her.

It's no excuse, I agree, but I am sure she is stressed to the max. Try to lessen the load and help her out how you can.

This is good. All too many times, here and elsewhere, folks are quick to suggest bringing down the hammer on anyone that is beyond our sensibilities. Lawn too tall? Call your HOA! OR, mow the guy's lawn, he may be sick, out of town or just need help.

Mother screams at her children? Why, call CPS and the law, that'll fix 'em. You really don't know what has brought the mother to that point; untold stresses or simply not being taught how to love their children. I can assure you the shortest path to a sociopath is to rip children away from their parents, irrespective of how "bad" they are, and cast them into the "system".

I know from experience it is hard to judge rebellion verses someone who is hurting.