Will you marry me??

[TexasTornado]

Ok since I happen to have a very male dominated group to ask...

How would ya'll feel about a woman asking you to marry her?

Not thinking of doing anything big and showy or getting him a ring or any of that nonsense. Figured I'd ask him while we were cuddling so he can either take it as a proposal or just a discussion if that's more comfortable for him.

I have no desire to steal his thunder, but at the same time, I know I want him and only him for the rest of my life and I'm more than ready to start living our lives together.

So gentlemen...thoughts or suggestions?

[C-dub]

I thought it would have been pretty cool for my wife to have asked me. However, I realized as the time drew closer, that she was a bit more old fashioned and I was going to have to be the one to step up and ask her. We had not discussed marriage at all and she was completely surprised and said yes.

I think it will depend on the man. If he's a little more old fashioned and traditional he may feel slighted, but you never know these days. I'm assuming that you're working and supporting yourself and he must be aware of that, so it should not be a surprise to him that you would be capable of making such a decision to decide to ask him.

[Jusme]

Sorry I'm already married.

Oh that wasn't meant for me?

I don't know, how I would feel, or if it would even be an issue. You know your intended better than anyone here, so I don't know that anyone on the forum can give you a proper answer. What each of us think, and feel individually, may not correspond with your boyfriend's outlook on the subject. Has there been any discussion regarding marriage previously? You will need to find out if you are both on the same page before the actual asking, regardless, of which one does the asking.JMHO

Good Luck, I wish you both the best.

[omegaman]

"I know I want him and only him for the rest of my life and I'm more than ready to start living our lives together..." Something like what you wrote in your post should convey your feelings sufficiently. Let him take it from there.
Happy nuptials.

[Jusme]

"I know I want him and only him for the rest of my life and I'm more than ready to start living our lives together..." Something like what you wrote in your post should convey your feelings sufficiently. Let him take it from there.
Happy nuptials.

Don't be afraid to state your feelings, even on the off chance that he doesn't feel the same way, it's always better to know.

[parabelum]

First of all, thank you for this post. It has been a very depressing news cycle for the last several weeks, so this is a nice gear change.

I come from across the pond, the "old world", and I have been raised with a clear understanding what a man needs to do in life.
From opening doors when a lady is about to enter or exit, to rolling up sleeves when things need fixing around house...to asking a women if she would like to get married, after of course her father and mother have been asked and have given their blessings.
So, from my point of view, however "old world" that might be, I'll tell you my opinion; If he loves you and he is a decent man, he will make the first move and cordially ask for your hand.
You may throw hints here and there (be careful though, we are oblivious species ), but the ultimate question should come from him.

[TexasTornado]

Sorry I'm already married.

Oh that wasn't meant for me?

I don't know, how I would feel, or if it would even be an issue. You know your intended better than anyone here, so I don't know that anyone on the forum can give you a proper answer. What each of us think, and feel individually, may not correspond with your boyfriend's outlook on the subject. Has there been any discussion regarding marriage previously? You will need to find out if you are both on the same page before the actual asking, regardless, of which one does the asking.JMHO

Good Luck, I wish you both the best.

We discussed it before we started dating, but not really since. We've discussed adopting tho which one would think would mean being married??

He was married once before and honestly from the very little he's told me about that relationship, I have a hard time believing she loved him...even a little. So I could understand him hesitating to ask.

[RPBrown]

I don't know, how I would feel, or if it would even be an issue. You know your intended better than anyone here, so I don't know that anyone on the forum can give you a proper answer. What each of us think, and feel individually, may not correspond with your boyfriend's outlook on the subject. Has there been any discussion regarding marriage previously? You will need to find out if you are both on the same page before the actual asking, regardless, of which one does the asking.JMHO

Good Luck, I wish you both the best.

I have to agree. You know him and we do not. You can tell by discussions on something we all have as a passion, that our opinions differ. For me personally, if it had already been discussed, I don't think I would have had a problem with her asking, but I really cant say for sure. That was a loooooonnnnnggggg time ago

[Topbuilder]

"How would ya'll feel about a woman asking you to marry her? "

While I agree we do not know what is best for us every now and then, I would ease into it maybe. More of a nudge than full on proposal. Let's face it, no man wants to recant the day his wife asked his father for his hand in marriage...

[Jusme]

Sorry I'm already married.

Oh that wasn't meant for me?

I don't know, how I would feel, or if it would even be an issue. You know your intended better than anyone here, so I don't know that anyone on the forum can give you a proper answer. What each of us think, and feel individually, may not correspond with your boyfriend's outlook on the subject. Has there been any discussion regarding marriage previously? You will need to find out if you are both on the same page before the actual asking, regardless, of which one does the asking.JMHO

Good Luck, I wish you both the best.

We discussed it before we started dating, but not really since. We've discussed adopting tho which one would think would mean being married??

He was married once before and honestly from the very little he's told me about that relationship, I have a hard time believing she loved him...even a little. So I could understand him hesitating to ask.

The second time around is very difficult. I know I was very hesitant to jump back in. In hindsight it was the best decision of my life, but not everyone is as fortunate. Again, your own knowledge of him and his feelings is much greater than ours. If his first marriage was, as you said, he may be even more hesitant to try again, due to trust issues.

[TexasTornado]

You may throw hints here and there (be careful though, we are oblivious species )

I think he'd be lost if I start acting all girly and begin hinting at things. Thank god he's at least used to me being blunt. I guess finding the courage to ask him just seems easier than trying to find a way to discuss it. How the hell do you even start that conversation?

"So baby, I was thinking, I'd really like to get married in a year or two, what do you think about getting engaged now so we can start planning what the future might look like?"

*him standing in shock then running for the hills*

Yea...

[parabelum]

Ok, then plan B;
How about:

"I want to get married in ... months. Do you want to go to ... or ... for our honeymoon?"

[Jusme]

You may throw hints here and there (be careful though, we are oblivious species )

I think he'd be lost if I start acting all girly and begin hinting at things. Thank god he's at least used to me being blunt. I guess finding the courage to ask him just seems easier than trying to find a way to discuss it. How the heck do you even start that conversation?

"So baby, I was thinking, I'd really like to get married in a year or two, what do you think about getting engaged now so we can start planning what the future might look like?"

*him standing in shock then running for the hills*

Yea...

Welcome to our world!!

You never know how far a bullet will go when you shoot it blindly. The same with questions of the heart. If he does "run for the hills", then you two were not meant to be. I know that sounds harsh, but that is a reality you will have to face. You can't make him feel the same about you that you feel for him, you can't undo, mistrust he may feel for the gentler sex, if he has had a bad experience, and if you have different views of your future together, then, your future "together" may not be in the cards. Again, no one here knows him like you do, so we can only guess and speculate. But if fear of losing him is the only thing stopping you, then you may need to reevaluate your relationship in general. JMHO ( I'll stop channeling my inner DR. Phil now)

[RPBrown]

You may throw hints here and there (be careful though, we are oblivious species )

I think he'd be lost if I start acting all girly and begin hinting at things. Thank god he's at least used to me being blunt. I guess finding the courage to ask him just seems easier than trying to find a way to discuss it. How the heck do you even start that conversation?

"So baby, I was thinking, I'd really like to get married in a year or two, what do you think about getting engaged now so we can start planning what the future might look like?"

*him standing in shock then running for the hills*

Yea...

How about in a conversation say something along the lines of "where do you see us in the future?"
Not sure what your habits are but my wife and I used to take walks along the beach at the lake. When we would see another couple that you could tell were happy, especially an older couple, she would say something like " I wonder how long they have been together, they seem really happy." That was how we would get into the conversation. We both were married a few times before and wanted to make sure it was right before we jumped in though. We have now been together for 25 years so I guess it was.