Driving in Dallas

dws1117 · Post by **dws1117** » Sun Sep 02, 2007 10:21 pm

I can't speak to the truth of this as someone from the Houston area I've successfully avoided ever going to Dallas much less driving there.

Can our brethren in Dallas and surrounding areas tell us the truth?

Anyway, I found it amusing.

Driving in Dallas,Texas

First you must learn to pronounce the city name. It is DAL-LUS, or DAA-LIS depending on if you live inside or outside LBJ Freeway.

Next, if your Mapsco is more than a few weeks old, throw it out and buy a new one. If in Denton County and your Mapsco is one-day-old, then it is already obsolete. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. (Frisco has screwed everything up.)

Dallas has its own version of traffic rules... "Hold on and pray." There is no such thing as a dangerous high-speed chase in Dallas . We all drive like that.

All directions start with, "Get on Beltline," which has no beginning and no end. (It REALLY DOESN'T!!!)

The morning rush hour is from 6 to 10. The evening rush hour is from 3 to 7. Friday's rush hour starts Thursday morning.

If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear-ended, cussed out and possibly shot. When you are the first one on the starting line, count to five when the light turns green before going to avoid crashing with all the drivers running the red light in cross-traffic.

Construction on Central Expressway is a way of life and a permanent form of entertainment. We had sooo much fun with that, we have added George Bush Freeway and the High Five to the mix.

All unexplained sights are explained by the phrase, "Oh, we're in Fort Worth !"

If someone actually has his or her turn signal on, it is probably a factory defect. Car horns are actually "Road Rage" indicators - and remember, it's legal to be armed in Texas ..

All old ladies with blue hair in a Mercedes have the right of way. Period. And remember, it's legal to be armed in Texas ...

Inwood Road, Plano Road, NW Highway, East Grand, Garland Road, Marsh Lane, Josey Lane, 15th Street, Preston Road all mysteriously change names as you cross intersections (these are only a FEW examples). The
perfect example is what is MOSTLY known as Plano Road . On the south end, it is known as Lake Highlands Drive, cross Northwest Highway and it becomes Plano Road, go about 8 miles and it is briefly Greenville Ave,
Ave K, and Highway 5. It ends in Sherman ....

The North Dallas Tollway is our daily version of NASCAR. The minimum acceptable speed on the Dallas North Toll Road is 85 mph. Anything less is considered downright sissy. It also ends in Sherman .

If asking directions in Irving or SE Dallas , you must have knowledge of Spanish. If in central Richardson or on Harry Hines, Mandarin Chinese will be your best bet. If you stop to ask directions on Gaston or Live Oak, you better be armed... and remember, it's legal to be armed in Texas

The wrought iron on windows near Oak Cliff and Fair Pa rk is not ornamental!!

A trip across town east to west will take a minimum of four hours, although many north/south freeways have unposted minimum speeds of 75.

It is possible to be driving WEST in the NORTH-bound lane of EAST NORTHWEST Highway. Don't let this confuse you.

LBJ is called "The Death Trap" for two reasons: "death" and "trap."

If it's 100 degrees, Thanksgiving must be next weekend. If it's 10 degrees and sleeting/snowing, the Fort Worth Stock Show is going on. If it has rained 6 inches in the last hour, the Byron Nelson Golf Classic is in the second round (if it's Spring) - and it is the Texas State Fair if it's Fall.

If you go to the Fair, pay the $8.00 to park INSIDE Fair Park . Parking elsewhere could cost up to $2500 for damages, towing fees, parking tickets, and possibly a gunshot wound. If some guy with a flag tries to get you to park in his yard, run over him.

Any amusement parks, stadiums, arenas, racetracks, airports, etc., are conveniently located as far away from EVERYTHING as possible so as to allow for ample parking on grassy areas.

Final Warning: Don't Mess With Texas Drivers ... remember, it's legal to Be armed in Texas

Dougmyers5 · Post by **Dougmyers5** » Sun Sep 02, 2007 11:02 pm

Yes thats about right!

A little worse in some places then described but very close.

T3hK1w1 · Post by **T3hK1w1** » Sun Sep 02, 2007 11:07 pm

The whole construction thing isn't so different from Houston...

AEA · Post by **AEA** » Sun Sep 02, 2007 11:54 pm

No, and the High Speed is no different than Houston.

stevie_d_64 · Post by **stevie_d_64** » Mon Sep 03, 2007 12:19 am

T3hK1w1 wrote:The whole construction thing isn't so different from Houston...

Yeah, you got that right...Try I-10 these days...Never thought I would see three semi's three wide on a construction section with narrower lanes striped the way they are...

Besides...Wasn't the first CHL involved self-defense shooting in Dallas???

Wildscar · Post by **Wildscar** » Mon Sep 03, 2007 1:04 am

One more that can be added to that list.

No matter how bright the colors are on you motorcycle you are still going to be cut off and run off the road more than once in a single outing.

AFJailor · Post by **AFJailor** » Mon Sep 03, 2007 6:15 am

Also the roads in down town Dallas are ALL one way and by one way i mean the opposite direction you are trying to travel.

SC1903A3 · Post by **SC1903A3** » Mon Sep 03, 2007 7:15 am

And your point is?

lrb111 · Post by **lrb111** » Mon Sep 03, 2007 7:43 am

And while it is true that one can often walk faster than traffic on North Central, you will still need your car when you get to about Plano.

Post by **Crossfire** » Mon Sep 03, 2007 8:41 am

It's all true. Every word.

There is a famous Fort Worth barbeque joint where the employee uniform is a tee shirt that reads "Life's Too Short to Live in Dallas".

I believe it.

jimlongley · Post by **jimlongley** » Mon Sep 03, 2007 10:23 am

Wildscar wrote:One more that can be added to that list.

No matter how bright the colors are on you motorcycle you are still going to be cut off and run off the road more than once in a single outing.

And the corrolary, if you are riding a motorcycle you will most likely be going faster than the general flow of traffic and weaving in and out of lanes so fast that other drivers will not have a chance to see you before they cut you off. The usual exceptions are large Harleys and Gold Wings.

I don't think the toll road gets to Sherman, YET, it's just the traffic that does.

HooG19 · Post by **HooG19** » Mon Sep 03, 2007 10:48 am

jimlongley wrote: I don't think the toll road gets to Sherman, YET, it's just the traffic that does.

this is true, but I believe it is in the plans for a future phase. The current project for DNT is the extension to 380.

Wildscar · Post by **Wildscar** » Mon Sep 03, 2007 11:15 am

jimlongley wrote:And the corrolary, if you are riding a motorcycle you will most likely be going faster than the general flow of traffic and weaving in and out of lanes so fast that other drivers will not have a chance to see you before they cut you off. The usual exceptions are large Harleys and Gold Wings.

I dont ride "large Harleys and Gold Wings." and I dont ride as you mentioned.....(Atleast not all the time).

RPBrown · Post by **RPBrown** » Mon Sep 03, 2007 1:12 pm

Been following me again?

Every word true. Glad I got 20 years of training on the Houston roads for Dallas driving

Post by **Skiprr** » Mon Sep 03, 2007 1:14 pm

But...

"America's Worst Commutes," Forbes; Houston, 5th (63 hours); Dallas-Ft. Worth, 6th (60 hours)

August 10, 2007: The Auto Channel (http://www.theautochannel.com/news/2007 ... 58036.html); "Houston Ranks Highest on List of America's Most Expensive Commutes"; "...the average commuter spends 20.9 percent of his annual household costs on getting to work."

AutoVantage compiles an annual list of the best and worst cities for road rage; in 2007: Houston, 9th; Dallas/Ft. Worth, 11th.

http://www.transact.org: Houston, TX has a Congestion Burden Index of 1.20; CBI. Rank:8. Dallas, TX has a Congestion Burden Index of 1.16; CBI.
Rank:16.

Surface Transportation Policy Project, "Pedestrian Safety and Spending," "The Most Dangerous Metro Areas in Texas"; Houston-Galveston-Brazoria, pedestrian danger index 42.3, national rank 7; Dallas-Ft. Worth, pedestrian danger index 40.8, national rank 9

Maybe I just need a big Lotto win and a nice ranch in the Hill Country...