Man shot as he slept, wife in custody

[shootthesheet]

When did verbal threats become justification for murder? They need to make an example of this woman and put her away for life or give her the death penalty. There is no excuse for murder. That includes a history of physical abuse and especially mental abuse which I see as a load of EDIT anyway. They have the option to leave. If they don't that is their decision and the consequences are on them. I feel for the abused but, it is a personal choice to stay no matter what the bleeding hearts say. The woman that murdered her Preacher husband got off with little punishment and this one thinks she can too. I only ask for equal justice under the law. And, this is my opinion.

You obviously have no earthly idea what you are talking about.

Thank you for your opinion.

[MrsFosforos]

When did verbal threats become justification for murder? They need to make an example of this woman and put her away for life or give her the death penalty. There is no excuse for murder. That includes a history of physical abuse and especially mental abuse which I see as a load of EDIT anyway. They have the option to leave. If they don't that is their decision and the consequences are on them. I feel for the abused but, it is a personal choice to stay no matter what the bleeding hearts say. The woman that murdered her Preacher husband got off with little punishment and this one thinks she can too. I only ask for equal justice under the law. And, this is my opinion.

You obviously have no earthly idea what you are talking about.

I agree. Domestic Violence has a whole different and illogical impact on a person (considering you think of yourself as "normal"). If you haven't been there you can't understand. The psychological trauma is different and worse than just physical abuse.

If this is a case of domestic violence -- there is a difference in knowing what she felt and might have been through. The only chance she might have "felt" she had to protect herself was to catch him asleep. Being in fear of her life - and the threat of his retaliation and retribution is what keeps women SILENCED and staying in abusive relationships. In the case of "the nature of the threat" being actively engaged vs ongoing and constant -- you can't imagine what she might have lived through. I can.


That's not to say she's going to get off. The psychodynamics of an abusive relationship isn't easily unraveled (if that is what this turns out to be).

[rm9792]

This guy worked for me at ATT downtown. He was one of the most polite guys you would ever meet. I was sorry to hear about this. I transferred from there 2 years ago and havent seen him since though.

[drinks]

comment removed by moderator. Personal attacks will not be tolerated.

[Venus Pax]

I don't think we have all the facts in this case.

I do know from both reading about domestic abuse, talking to people that have been through it, and talking to professionals that counsel these women, that they often have very few viable avenues out.

I'm afraid this one isn't an easy assessment.

[rm9792]

I knew this guy better than anyone here most likely and he was very very deferential to his wife when i saw them together and she showed no signs of abuse, IE flinching, looking down/away, quiet around him, etc. He doesnt seem the abuser at all. Maybe she just flipped out.

[cyphur]

It's funny how so many folks have so many opinions while being so ill-informed! I personally know nothing outside of what I've read in this thread, but it's enough to see that obviously there is a lot more to this story. Folks don't kill their husbands over one threat - unless the husband really meant it. I for one, wasn't in the home that night, so I can't say. Can anyone here? If so, spill the beans!

Has the husband/wife been over in the Gulf in support of OIF, or maybe OEF? Do either of them suffer from PTSD? Any mental trauma related to combat? If they're sergeants in the Guard, that means they've been in a few years - probably going on 4 to 6. Possibly multiple rotations?

Even if no combat - there are plenty of ways to strike a person w/o leaving marks, and military-trained individuals are trained to maintain composure under duress, and conceal emotions. This training is especially emphasized in peacekeeping train-ups as you must maintain a relationship with the indigenous population. It's not terribly difficult to transfer that skill into civilian life. Does anyone know the wife's MOS? Civilian Affairs, maybe PsyOps? Wouldn't that be a kicker. Or, she could be a cook - point is, you don't know.

So - who's to say what happened? Just because you know someone at work, the nicest person, polite, respectful - doesn't go home and kill the neighbor's pets for giggles. It's not the "good ol' days" where folks are always as they seem. It's "ok" to be messed up now, didn't you catch the news?

In closing - I think it's best to reserve judgment until all the facts are in. I hope the kids are well cared for in this time of need, and that they stay that way. I also hope the wife gets a fair shakedown - guilty or not.

[PhilR.]

Folks don't kill their husbands over one threat - unless the husband really meant it. I for one, wasn't in the home that night, so I can't say. Can anyone here? If so, spill the beans!

In closing - I think it's best to reserve judgment until all the facts are in. I hope the kids are well cared for in this time of need, and that they stay that way. I also hope the wife gets a fair shakedown - guilty or not.

+1...

It would also be possible that the husband wasn't even abusive to begin with. People have killed their spouses when they found out, or at least believed, that their spouse has been unfaithful. It would be easy to claim abuse as the reason to kill, when in fact it may have been other reasons for the killing. People are much more likely to be sympathetic to a beaten spouse, especially as the "beater" is not here to refute any statements.

Not saying that is what actually happened, but that there are many possibilities that have yet to be proven....

PhilR.

[Hamourkiller]

There is no excuse for putting a pillow over a husbands face and blowing his brains out while he is sleeping!

If we follow this logic, women have used the court system so effectively with non justified restraining orders etc that durring a divorce you as a man loose all rights just for being a man. I feel threatned and smothered and with out options! Oh what do I do? Well I get my pistol and place a pillow on her head while she sleeps and blow her brains out! Why that will work great. Or I wait until she is up and back shoot her with a 12ga! Yes I am so afraid! and dominated by this woman and the courts!

If I have to raise children sired by another man while I am married to a cheating woman and dont get to shoot her and the guy, why should a woman get to shoot a sleeping man who might have been beating her. Shoot the "abuser" (edited for abreviated profanity.) just before he beats you! Much better tactic than waiting until he sleeps! Or better yet get a divorce and shoot him when he comes calling again!

What a crock. (edited for euphemism.)

[dukalmighty]

I was in the USAF security police in the mid 70's we carried S&W mod 15 .38 specials,the one thing that bothers me is her presence of mind to muffle the gunshot with a pillow so it wouldn't wake the children,I think a defense attorney would have a hard time fighting premeditation

[MrsFosforos]

I don't think a defense attorney would have to stretch very far to explain the pillow. It doesn't suggest premediation on her part.

Keeping the house quiet while kids are asleep becomes an automatic habit for moms with small children. As crazy as it might sound, using the pillow could have been done as mindlessly as closing a door to the kid's room to keep the noise down from a tv in another room.

[Lodge2004]

Don't know about now but when I was an army helicopter pilot our issued sidearm was a 38.

Same here. Until about 91-92, I was still being issued a S&W Model 10 with my survival vest. Didn't get the 9mm's until after the first Gulf War.

Assuming this guy was an abuser, seems he picked the wrong person to abuse...a fellow soldier with access to and familiarity with firearms. He supplied the motivation.

In any event, I would assume she will have much explaining to do. It's hard, for me, to see a sleeping person as a threat. Especially when I have access to and familiarity with firearms when they are awake.

[txinvestigator]

I am amazed at the lack of accurate information in this thread regarding the traumatizing of people who are physically abused. How easily we sit in judgement of people while ignorant of the facts.

While unlikely she will be found not guilty, it could happen. A person subjected to years of physical abuse does not think like you and I. Their entire way of thinking is re-wired. It is common that an abused person shows no public signs of the abuse.

Anyone remember Lorena Bobbit? She was found not guilty. ;)

[CompVest]

+1

[rm9792]

Why is all the fault and blame being placed on him? Maybe she was cheating? Wanting a divorce? abusing him (mentally)?