Scorned by MIL

[Cipher]

I've posted on here before about some issues my in-laws have with me carrying 24/7, I think I just added some fuel to the fire, so to speak.

My wife has told me about three incidents here at the house while I was either at work or Martial Arts training. All the incidents involved someone banging on the door for several minutes very hard. Most times I come home after dark my wife is sitting in the Lazy-Boy with her Glock at her side, so I'm not too worried, she knows how to take care of things herself.

Anyway, I digress. Yesterday I was in the bedroom getting dressed and I heard the doorbell ring and some guy shouting "hello, hello". My wife was feeding our daughter so I went to see who it was. About 10 feet from the door the door swings open and out of pure reflex I unholster, stop in my tracks, get in a good stance and bring the pistol to low ready. It was my mother-in-law and her husband (the idiot screaming "hello, hello").

As soon I I realized who it was I reholstered and told them how close they came to getting shot. I didn't recognize the voice and I didn't expect the door to come flying open. She retorts with "that's why you shouldn't have that thing strapped to your hip all the time". I told her I wasn't expecting anyone and I told her about the incidents at the house lately and she was still unmoved.

On the other hand, her husband said he was glad I reacted the way I did, and my wife said she was really surprised by how fast I reacted and was ready to shoot.

Everyone on my wife's side of the family has called and ridiculed me for what happened, and nobody is placing any blame on my MIL, it's all my fault.

I'm really surprised, to say the least, to see how naive my wife's family is.

So, was I wrong, or did I act appropriately?

[seamusTX]

Why did the door open?

- Jim

[HighVelocity]

Was the door unlocked?

[Cipher]

Yes, the door was unlocked, bad habit. The door came open because she opened it. Her family walks in, and most times it isn't a problem since I know they are coming, this time I didn't know they were coming.

[Xander]

I think what Jim and HighVelocity are getting at is that the door shouldn't have been unlocked. Whether you acted appropriately or not after they opened the door is moot...They shouldn't have been able to open the door at all. You could have had a tragedy on your hands due to your bad habit...And you wouldn't be the first.

So, that said, my advice would be to shrug off your family's remarks, chalk it up to experience, and resolve here forward to make sure that your doors are locked *all* the time.

[seamusTX]

I think what Jim and HighVelocity are getting at is that the door shouldn't have been unlocked.

Yep.

- Jim

[Keith B]

+1 on locking the door. Ours are always locked. I am adamant about that.

I would tell your Mother --Law the next time she barges in unannounced it would be the last time. She would either be banned from visiting or looking at the bottom of the grass in a graveyard.

[Lumberjack98]

Yep, +1 on locking the door.

You've got so many other things figured out for self protections. Add this to the "must always do" list.

[Xander]

I would tell your Mother --Law the next time she barges in unannounced it would be the last time. She would either be banned from visiting or looking at the bottom of the grass in a graveyard.

I have to strongly disagree. Threatening to kill your mother-in-law *isn't* a good way to make family holidays a happy time, to win your wife's adoration, or to convince an anti that gun owners are normal reasonable people.

If he has to say anything further to her about it, my suggestion would be that he apologize for creating the situation by leaving the door unlocked, and explain that he'll be keeping the door locked in future so that it won't happen again.

[Crossfire]

If he has to say anything further to her about it, my suggestion would be that he apologize for creating the situation by leaving the door unlocked, and explain that he'll be keeping the door locked in future so that it won't happen again.

Good answer!

[frankie_the_yankee]

I think drawing to low ready was a little bit overboard.

I carry around the house a lot. Sometimes the unexpected happens, but I've never felt the urge to draw.

Your inlaws probably freaked out, and I can't say as I blame them.

If you're having strange things happening with unknown people banging on your door, you should keep it locked at all times.

[txinvestigator]

I agree on the over-reaction. You leave your doors unlocked, but draw down on someone who calls, "hello, hello" and opens it? You leave your doors unlocked AFTER having incidents with strangers "banging on the door for several minutes very hard"?

[Keith B]

I would tell your Mother --Law the next time she barges in unannounced it would be the last time. She would either be banned from visiting or looking at the bottom of the grass in a graveyard.

I have to strongly disagree. Threatening to kill your mother-in-law *isn't* a good way to make family holidays a happy time, to win your wife's adoration, or to convince an anti that gun owners are normal reasonable people.

If he has to say anything further to her about it, my suggestion would be that he apologize for creating the situation by leaving the door unlocked, and explain that he'll be keeping the door locked in future so that it won't happen again.

OK, I'll agree I was a little radical on that statement. However, I really wasn't implying he should kill his MIL. I was thinking how easy it would be for her to get shot just barging in.

The apology may be the best route, but it also may fuel the fire on her irrational thinking that she is right on the anti-carry stance.

[KBCraig]

I think Cipher agrees (and knew beforehand) that unlocked doors are a bad habit.

That said, I strongly disagree with those who are assigning blame to him over this, especially anyone suggesting that he apologize!

I don't care if the door was unlocked. I don't even care if it was standing wide open. Banging on someone's door and yelling, then barging in uninvited, is a good way to get shot!

I suggest printing out the recent news items about people who have been shot and killed answering their own front doors. Pass them out to all those family members who have called to castigate Cipher over this incident. Ask them if they find it more morally acceptable to allow someone unknown to barge in on a mother and infant, than to be prepared to defend those innocent lives.

I think you did good. Drawing to low ready showed great restraint -- I'd have been at high ready.

And don't forget to lock your doors.

[Cipher]

I agree on the over-reaction. You leave your doors unlocked, but draw down on someone who calls, "hello, hello" and opens it? You leave your doors unlocked AFTER having incidents with strangers "banging on the door for several minutes very hard"?

I admitted leaving the doors unlocked was a mistake, even though I've never felt inclined to lock them during the day, I will be from now on. I see it being a challenge keeping them locked with kids in the house though.

However, good guys aren't the only ones who will stand outside a door and yell "hello, hello" (and there were about 10 other "hello's in there too), and having my door flung open, daylight, unlocked or otherwise is good reason for me to draw and get prepared - I was 10 feet from the door, had it not been friendlies I don't think I would've had time to react if I was still holstered.


As I see it, the door being unlocked was my fault, not knowing we were expecting company wasn't.

And, just because my door was unlocked doesn't mean I shouldn't react when it opens unexpectedly. It's as though some of you are taking the stance that because my door was unlocked I shouldn't defend the house any longer, or react when it opens.


So, let's make a hypothetical situation out of this:

You are in your house, your 8 year old kid just came in from outside (and remembered to close the front door). 10 minutes later you hear knocking, so you get up to see who it is. 10 feet from the away, the door flings open. You're telling me you wouldn't prepare to fight? Since your door was unlocked you would just stand there and let whatever happened happen?

Maybe I'm preparing myself too much, maybe I'm training too much. Unholstering and getting into a low ready was purely instinctive, I didn't have time to think, I've got the move so committed to muscle memory that it happened without me thinking about it. That's a bad thing?