What Could Have Been...

[The Annoyed Man]

I posted the story below on my own website back in 2005, before I had moved to Texas, and before getting my CHL. I had forgotten about it, but ran across it this morning, and it made me think about how my life has changed in the 2-1/2 years since I wrote it.
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So, today as I'm driving home from work, northbound on Tuxford, I and several other motorists find ourselves caught behind a slow moving city bus in the right hand lane. There is a guy behind me, about 3 car lengths back, and both of us pull into the left lane at the same time to pass the bus. As I pull alongside the bus, I notice that the guy behind me, driving a green Jeep Grand Cherokee, has rushed up to about 2 feet off my rear bumper. I look in the mirror, and I can see that he's shouting "encouragements" at me and in an obvious hurry. So I wave acknowledgment, and as soon as I pass the bus, I pull back over into the right lane and let him go by. He races past me and on up to the next signal at Glenoaks, where he has to stop, and where I catch up with him.

There were already two cars, one in each lane, at the stop light when the other guy gets there ahead of me. For whatever reason, he pulls into the right lane. So I move into the left lane as I approach the light, putting me right next to him on his left. I can see that he's yelling at me about something, so I put my passenger window down, and ask him "Is there a problem?" I guess that was what he was waiting for.

He starts to curse me in a fairly unimaginative way, using lots of f-bombs, and then says "Yeah! You cut me off back there!"

Well, as I said, he was 3 lengths back when we both made the same lane change, so there is no way I cut this guy off. The truth is that he's mad because I didn't race past the bus at 175 mph like he wanted to do. So, I says, "No I didn't. You were a ways back there when we both made the same lane change."

I decided a long time ago that there is no point in cursing if you are not fluent at it. It merely makes you sound ignorant. To be truly talented at cursing, you have to have a large enough lexicon of profanities to make it interesting to the listener. This guy failed the test. Anyway, he proceeds to unlimber his limited vocabulary while I just smiled back at him. Finally, I grew bored with the whole thing and said, "Well, bleep you too."

At that point, he loses it, pulls a GUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, starts waving it at me, and challenges me to pull over and get into it with him. It looked like a full sized 9mm, a Browning Hipower, I think.

Excuse me, but I'm not "stuck on stoopid." Who in his right mind is going to pull over and get into it with an enraged and armed bonehead who has already demonstrated his limited capabilities in the arenas of anger management, profanity, and wisdom?

On the other hand, I'm not thinking so clearly by now either, so I say, loud enough for him to hear, "Nah, I'm not going to waste my time on a punk." It probably wasn't the right thing to do, but I swear that it was the only thing I could think of at the time. At that point, he did the best imitation of a non-linear trajectory inside of his car that I've ever seen. He was like Taz.

Just then, the light changes, and he darts forward across the intersection and starts to pull over to the side, like he thinks I'm actually going to do this thing with him. I blow past him and immediately put several cars between me and him. He follows for a few blocks and then I lose him. I was a bit shaky the rest of the way home, but a double dirty martini - shaken, not stirred - has taken care of that.

In California, traveling around with a gun in your car without a permit to carry concealed is not smiled upon by the authorities. And since they don't give permits hereabouts, particularly in L.A. County where I live, it is not generally considered a good idea. On the other hand, Taz was evidently doing it without the merest twinge of conscience. Since I come home the same way each day, there is some possibility that we'll run into each other again out there on the dusty streets of North Hollywood. I'm giving serious consideration to bringing my .45 with me to work on Monday, just in case. I would rather be tried by 12 than carried by 6, as they say.

Or, maybe I'm being a bit paranoid. I don't know. But I do know this. Sometime between now and April, my company is relocating, and I am moving to Dallas. In Texas, they take a different view of a citizen's right to defend himself. Take a course, pass a test, get a permit. Sounds like a plan to me. I don't really ever want to get in another confrontation like that as long as I live, but the world being full of idiots as it is, it's likely I will someday. When or if it does, I would like to be in a better position than saying, "Nah, I'm not going to waste my time on a punk," and not having a little something to back it up with.

I can put 3 rounds of +P Corbon JHP's out of my 1911A1 into about 6" at 15 yards without too much trouble. Lot's of people shoot better than that, but that's good enough to get the job done on a Tasmanian Devil.

But Lord, when I think of what could have been....

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So now I sit here in Texas, holder of a CHL, and I find that my attitude has shifted quite a bit. Today, I would have stayed in the same lane behind Taz, instead of pulling up alongside him. Today, I would not have rolled down my window to see what he wanted, and I certainly would not have exchanged words with him. Instead, I would have kept to my own business and cautiously observed. And lastly, instead of driving home and risking being followed there by a crazy man with a gun, I would have driven straight to the nearest police station. It's funny how, now that I can actually carry a gun legally, bravado has gone out the window, and all I want is a little peace in my life.

I just thought I would share that with you all.

[quidni]

It's funny how, now that I can actually carry a gun legally, bravado has gone out the window, and all I want is a little peace in my life.

Bravado has been replaced with ability and confidence.

Have you ever noticed that the most dangerous of people (multiple-black-belt martial artists, Marines, etc.) tend to also be some of the most gentle and polite people? They truly are Gentlemen and Ladies. It's because they know what they are capable of. And they've developed this very laudable aversion to taking out a seriously disadvantaged opponent (who may not even be aware of his disadvantage) "just because they can." It doesn't hurt the Bear to let the Rooster strut and crow.

The Bear has nothing to prove. Those who count, know. Who needs to impress a bunch of chickens, anyway?

[MBGuy]

Who said "Walk softly, carry big stick" or something to that effect? Churchill? This post reminds me of that.

As a group, I can only hope all the new CHL'ers that carry can grow the same way, so as not to give any "proof" to the antis. Carrying brings with it responsibility, not only for the sake of our own individual legal well being, but for the sake and future of the carrying CHL community as a whole.

[The Annoyed Man]

Who said "Walk softly, carry big stick" or something to that effect? Churchill?

I think it was Teddy Roosevelt, but you're right that this proverb would be a good attitude for CHL holders.

[pedalman]

As a group, I can only hope all the new CHL'ers that carry can grow the same way, so as not to give any "proof" to the antis. Carrying brings with it responsibility, not only for the sake of our own individual legal well being, but for the sake and future of the carrying CHL community as a whole.

This may be our prime motivation to take the high road in such situations.

Although I have not received my CHL yet, I still legally carry in my vehicle on my daily 50-mile commute. I know the "antis" won't take care of my family if something happens to me, so I have to take care of myself for their sake.

[DoubleJ]

Shoulda unleashed yer Trunk Monkey on'em!

[Kerbouchard]

Shoulda unleashed yer Trunk Monkey on'em!

I really wish I could get a Trunk Monkey...

For the annoyed man, glad you seem to have grown up a bit...It's Texas...things are different here.

[Glock 23]

Shoulda unleashed yer Trunk Monkey on'em!

...It's Texas...things are different here.

yea, we keep our guns concealed

[WarHawk-AVG]

Shoulda unleashed yer Trunk Monkey on'em!

...It's Texas...things are different here.

yea, we keep our guns concealed

It voids the warantee on your car because your auto mechanic wont go near the poo filled back of the car once you get the trunk monkey installed.

[The Annoyed Man]

It voids the warantee on your car because your auto mechanic wont go near the poo filled back of the car once you get the trunk monkey installed.

I've had one for years. His name is Bert, and he's diaper trained. But you have to be patient training them, because they can turn on you!

[KBCraig]

It voids the warantee on your car because your auto mechanic wont go near the poo filled back of the car once you get the trunk monkey installed.

One California man has an interesting alternative to the trunk monkey: the under-hood pit bull!

http://jalopnik.com/388494/ford-f150-no ... ull-option

[aardwolf]

One California man has an interesting alternative to the trunk monkey: the under-hood pit bull!

Don't forget http://www.texasshooting.com/TexasCHL_F ... 15&t=15343