Study: 1 in 5 college women victim of rape or attempted rape

[A-R]

That is a horrifying statistic. I'm smart enough to know that most of these crimes fall under the category of "acquaintance rapes" mentioned in the story (victim knows the attacker), and many victims are under 21 years of age; so allowing CHL on campus wouldn't necessarily prevent all of these crimes. But I still think these statistics should be a HUGE part of the next push for campus carry law.

My little girl is almost 4 years old. I pray something is done to fix this problem sooner rather than later. In 13 years when she starts looking at colleges, I'll put a big gold star on the pamphlets of all the schools (in Texas or elsewhere) where campus CHL is allowed by law and by the university. I won't force where she chooses to go to school, but I will certainly explain the importance of choosing a school that respects students' God-given right to defend themselves.

http://www.cnn.com/2009/LIVING/12/15/se ... index.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

Rape victims offer advice to today's college women
By Jessica Ravitz, CNN

(CNN) -- If you are already in college or headed there, sit down. If you're the parent or friend of a student, listen up.

One in five college women will be raped, or experience an attempted rape, before graduation. Less than 5 percent will report these crimes to officials on or off campus, and, when they do, there's a good chance the system will let them down.

A handful of former students who spoke out and reported rapes at their schools told CNN they didn't feel protected by their universites. They were initially interviewed as part of an investigative series by the Center for Public Integrity, a Washington-based nonprofit that says it seeks to make institutions more transparent and accountable.

The women welcomed the chance to share their experiences and offer advice to students today.

"I was too young, still in too much shock and too emotionally gone to make decisions on my own," said a woman who, as a freshman, reported a rape in 2001. "I needed an adult I trusted. The school did not provide such a person."

The shocking statistics of rape and attempted rape on campus came to light in a study conducted by the U.S. Department of Justice nine years ago. But the recently released series published by the Washington center shows that while federal law requires schools to act on sexual assault allegations and look out for the rights of victims, many higher-education institutions aren't making the grade.

"Schools are aware it's a problem, a big problem," said Kristen Lombardi, the center's lead reporter for Sexual Assault on Campus: A Frustrating Search for Justice. She pointed to a "culture of silence" and said critics say, "The biggest sin is one of omission. They're just not dealing with this issue head-on in a public manner with their student bodies."

Over the course of nine months, Lombardi and her colleagues spoke to 33 women who'd reported rapes, interviewed about 50 experts and surveyed more than 150 crisis clinics and programs on or near campuses. They also reviewed cases and combed through 10 years of complaints against institutions that had been filed with the Department of Education.

The alleged rape victims and others shared stories of secretive hearings, administrators who encouraged students to drop complaints and failures to sufficiently pursue the accusations and seek punishments when warranted. Others spoke of gag orders, confidential mediations where women sat across from their attackers and feelings of being revictimized at the institutions they thought would help them.

Many said administrators appeared more concerned with protecting their employer, or the school's reputation, than they were with protecting students. A number of women ended up leaving their universities. One student in the investigative series was written about posthumously, after killing herself.

Part of the problem stems from ignorance, said S. Daniel Carter, the director of public policy for Security on Campus, a national organization committed to advancing safety for students.

For one, he said acquaintance rapes, which dominate campus assaults, are often wrongly dismissed as "misunderstandings." And lack of coordination when it comes to responses isn't helped by the fact that too few school officials are trained to understand the impact of sexual assaults.

"People are going to do the best they can, but they only have limited knowledge based on their profession," said Connie Kirkland of George Mason University in Virginia, a school that's emerged as a model for others.

Kirkland, the school's director of sexual assault services, has held this position since the office was established in 1993, making it among the first of its kind. She said the university jumped to action soon after then-Gov. Douglas Wilder issued in 1992 recommendations regarding campus sexual assaults. And while other Virginia schools made efforts early on, Kirkland said that when Wilder left office in 1994, most schools folded their programs.

Meantime, budgetary woes at schools across the country mean the programs that do exist often come and go, she added.

Kirkland said nothing serves victims better than having a clear point of contact on campus, an office and professionals who are trained -- and can train others -- to understand all aspects of these sexual assault crimes, including legal options, the psychological toll and health concerns.

A compassionate and well-meaning professor, administrator or residential adviser, for example, may listen, but they can't be expected to provide full-fledged therapy or tell a student what it means to file a police report or go to court, she said. And a therapist can't offer legal navigation any better than a law enforcement officer can be responsible for emotional processing.

The women who spoke to CNN described what they would have done differently if they'd known then what they know now. In general practice, CNN does not name sexual assault victims. Here, in their own words, is their advice:

Feeling invincible, an age of denial and disbelief

"I wish I'd been less trusting of my surroundings," said a woman who said she was assaulted as a sophomore in 2007. "In college, you feel as if you are invincible, when in reality, trouble could be hiding behind the façade of a casual get-together or a party where you feel completely safe. Always keep control of yourself and your surroundings, and keep a close eye out for your friends as well.

"And if you are a friend of a person who has been assaulted, all I can say is that though it might be hard, please listen and support that person," continued the former student, who said she was "met with a response that I never expected -- laughter and disbelief. Because of that, I kept silent until my attacker assaulted a friend of mine almost a year later."

Said another rape victim: "Do not binge drink or leave drinks unattended."

Reaching out elsewhere, protecting your interests

"I wish I'd told my parents sooner," said a woman who reported a campus rape that happened in her dorm room in 2003. "My parents now know about it, but when it initially happened, they did not. I was just so ashamed.

"You're too inhibited to make rational decisions, to understand emotionally what's going on," she added. "Whether it's outside counsel, law enforcement, a friend or a parent, do not rely on the university to serve your best interests. And don't sign anything."

Seeking out professionals who understand

"Get help from a professional as soon as possible. I spoke with a counselor at Victim's Assistance a few days after my assault, and that was crucial in helping me overcome this. There are a lot of different emotions after you are assaulted, and speaking with someone who really understands sexual assault is imperative," said a woman who reported a gang rape by athletes in 2001 when she was a sophomore.

Furthermore, she said, "Family members and friends are also victims when this happens to someone they care about. The technical term is 'secondary survivors.' Sometimes it is difficult for them to deal with their own emotions and still be supportive to the primary survivor. Secondary survivors should not be afraid to get professional help, or to speak with a counselor about their own feelings. That way, they are not projecting their emotions onto the primary survivor. Seeking professional help also gives you options, and it is important to know all of your options after you are assaulted so you can choose how to overcome this."

Find this article at:
http://www.cnn.com/2009/LIVING/12/15/se ... index.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

[Oldgringo]

"I wish I'd been less trusting of my surroundings," said a woman who said she was assaulted as a sophomore in 2007. "In college, you feel as if you are invincible, when in reality, trouble could be hiding behind the façade of a casual get-together or a party where you feel completely safe. Always keep control of yourself and your surroundings, and keep a close eye out for your friends as well.

Said another rape victim: "Do not binge drink or leave drinks unattended."

Sage advice from a couple victims for all parents to pass onto their offspring...of all genders.

[psijac]

The military has the same problem. So its not so much a college issue, its an american issue

[flb_78]

I wonder how many of these "rapes" occurred while the woman was drunk and woke up next to the guy in the morning wondering what she did?

Making a stupid decision while you're drunk isn't rape.

[Keith B]

I wonder how many of these "rapes" occurred while the woman was drunk and woke up next to the guy in the morning wondering what she did?

Making a stupid decision while you're drunk isn't rape.

But the woman having a few drinks, being tipsy and then forced into it IS. I know that is a very frequent scenario.

[android]

It's a big problem with how we raise our daughters and I'm trying to do it different. A big part of the problem is that young ladies are taught that it is rude or not ladylike to say no and mean it. As parents, how many of you make your daughters do things they don't want to do like kiss or hug somebody they don't like just to be "polite"? think about it, kids know when people are creepy, and you need to listen to them. Lots of experiences of childhood molesting I read about tell how parents refused to accept the fact that a relative or friend did anything and blame them for making stuff up.

And look at how stupid romantic comedies are structured. Guy asks girl and she says no. Guy has no respect for that and keeps asking and stalking. Eventually girls says yes and realized guy stalked her because he loved her they live happily ever after. This is all messed up. And yes, given no other good example or instruction, people learn most of what they know about dating and romance from romantic comedies.

Teach you daughters to say no, mean it and stand up for it. Let them tell you no and respect that for decisions that it makes sense for. Explain that if they do like a guy and want to go out, they better say yes if that's what they really want and not play hard to get. Otherwise, you're just continuing the mixed behavior that leads to rape, sexual assault and battered wives and girlfriends.

[chabouk]

It's a minefield to question these statistics, lest we sound insensitive to the terrible reality of rape, but I think it's important to now how the figures were arrived at.

I remember a dozen or so years back, a study was released that came to the same figure (20%), but after some digging was done, it turned out the survey sponsors defined "raped or sexually assaulted" in a way that the women interviewed did not. One of the questions was similar to what flb_78 asked: if the interviewee said she had ever gotten drunk and woken up with a stranger and didn't remember consenting, they scored it as rape.

The same study counted positive responses from any time in the woman's life, but made it sound as if the assaults had all happened during the college years.

[57Coastie]

SNIP if the interviewee said she had ever gotten drunk and woken up with a stranger and didn't remember consenting, they scored it as rape.

If in this case she was telling the truth is it your position that this would not be rape?

Jim

[57Coastie]

I wonder how many of these "rapes" occurred while the woman was drunk and woke up next to the guy in the morning wondering what she did?

Making a stupid decision while you're drunk isn't rape.

Once again I must ask if it is your opinion that sexual relations with a female who is drunk and knowingly unable to give advised consent is not rape?

Men believing this can be found in most prisons.

Jim

[Purplehood]

I wonder how many of these "rapes" occurred while the woman was drunk and woke up next to the guy in the morning wondering what she did?

Making a stupid decision while you're drunk isn't rape.

Once again I must ask if it is your opinion that sexual relations with a female who is drunk and knowingly unable to give advised consent is not rape?

Men believing this can be found in most prisons.

Jim

Happened in the barracks all the time. One of our troops went to bed drunk, left her "dorm-room" unlocked in the process and woke up to find a fellow-Marine on top of her. The Marine Corps defines that as rape. So do I.

[android]

I wonder how many of these "rapes" occurred while the woman was drunk and woke up next to the guy in the morning wondering what she did?

Making a stupid decision while you're drunk isn't rape.

Once again I must ask if it is your opinion that sexual relations with a female who is drunk and knowingly unable to give advised consent is not rape?

Men believing this can be found in most prisons.

Jim

There is a caveman mentality of blaming that perpetuates this. Getting drunk or falling asleep is no more an invitation to sex than it is to have your wallets emptied or your car keys snatched and your car taken. But nobody would claim that wasn't theft because the victim was drunk. In either case, it is taking advantage of someones reduced awareness to commit a crime against them.

[chabouk]

SNIP if the interviewee said she had ever gotten drunk and woken up with a stranger and didn't remember consenting, they scored it as rape.

If in this case she was telling the truth is it your position that this would not be rape?

There is no way to know. Not remembering the details the next morning doesn't automatically presume that she was passed out at the time. In my college days I saw (and perhaps did) a lot of things done with intent and great enthusiasm, which the participants had to be reminded about after they sobered up.

[bdickens]

It's a big problem with how we raise our daughters and I'm trying to do it different. A big part of the problem is that young ladies are taught that it is rude or not ladylike to say no and mean it. As parents, how many of you make your daughters do things they don't want to do like kiss or hug somebody they don't like just to be "polite"? think about it, kids know when people are creepy, and you need to listen to them. Lots of experiences of childhood molesting I read about tell how parents refused to accept the fact that a relative or friend did anything and blame them for making stuff up.

And look at how stupid romantic comedies are structured. Guy asks girl and she says no. Guy has no respect for that and keeps asking and stalking. Eventually girls says yes and realized guy stalked her because he loved her they live happily ever after. This is all messed up. And yes, given no other good example or instruction, people learn most of what they know about dating and romance from romantic comedies.

Teach you daughters to say no, mean it and stand up for it. Let them tell you no and respect that for decisions that it makes sense for. Explain that if they do like a guy and want to go out, they better say yes if that's what they really want and not play hard to get. Otherwise, you're just continuing the mixed behavior that leads to rape, sexual assault and battered wives and girlfriends.

+ 1,000,000!

flb_78 wrote:
I wonder how many of these "rapes" occurred while the woman was drunk and woke up next to the guy in the morning wondering what she did?

Making a stupid decision while you're drunk isn't rape.

That kind of backwards thinking can't really be responded to properly here.

[57Coastie]

SNIP if the interviewee said she had ever gotten drunk and woken up with a stranger and didn't remember consenting, they scored it as rape.

If in this case she was telling the truth is it your position that this would not be rape?

There is no way to know. Not remembering the details the next morning doesn't automatically presume that she was passed out at the time. In my college days I saw (and perhaps did) a lot of things done with intent and great enthusiasm, which the participants had to be reminded about after they sobered up.

WHOA! It is time for a reality check here. It might actually save a man's freedom, or even his life. If one of "the things a participant had to be reminded about after [she] sobered up" was sexual relations, the man is likely a rapist, whether or not he in good faith thinks the relations were consensual.

Sorry, but there is a way to know. A jury will tell you the answer. Not a judge -- a jury of one's peers. The judge will instruct the jury that they must be convinced beyond a reasonable doubt that the female did not give her informed consent, or lawyers' words to that effect. The only thing a jury is always instructed to "presume" is that, going in, the defendant is considered to be innocent. The prosecutor must overcome that heavy burden beyond any reasonable doubt in order for the defendant to be convicted. There is seldom a witness to what a defendant alleges was consensual relations, so it must always be recognized that it often boils down to "He said, she said." Unfair? Perhaps. But perhaps not. In any event, to borrow an ancient truism, nobody ever said the law is always fair. Ultimately a jury must answer the question, in one way or another, even though it is a difficult one.

If one chooses to be a "denier" of what the law is, he opens the door to being convicted of a horrible crime. If that gal next to you at the bar looks more and more attractive, and more and more inducing, after each beer you down, beware. You are staring right into the chance of serious trouble.

Jim

[Purplehood]

The situation as described above sucks for all parties involved. I don't see how there can be a winner despite the findings of a jury. Both parties drunk and one decides that it wasn't consensual is a moral nightmare.