We were confronted by a bum the other night

[Doug.38PR]

Last week my father, mother and I were leaving an Astros game at Minute Maid park in downtown Houston the other night. We left a few innings before the game was over and were a lone party leaving the park. We crossed the street and walked through a dark parkinglot to get to another lot to where my car was parked.
Suddenly, out of the shadows from between some cars comes this bum with a towel, squeegiee and a bottle of windex saying (at night) "Excuse me can I wash your windshield. Please please I'm just trying to make an honest living" He kept following us right behind or paralleling us for about 20-30 feet repeating this each time me or my dad would firmly say "no" or "no thank you." As we were leaving a sports game I wasn't able to have my gun with me so I kept my carkey point sticking out from between my middle and ring finger. My dad kept himself behind my mom between her and the bum and I put myself beside the bum offering support carefully watching what he was doing with his hands rather than what he was saying.
He eventually walked away.
Dad expressed a concern after we got in the car and on our way that I didn't even think of at the moment. "I was worried he was trying to distract us waiting for some accomplice down the parkinglot to come up from our other side and hold us up." The bum was so persistant and was offering his window services at an odd hour. Suspicious. Didn't seem like a very strong guy. Somewhat frail just by looking at him compared to me a 29 year old or even my 62 year old dad.

[JLaw]

Sounds like you made out okay considering the circumstances (baseball game = no gun), good point about the bum beeing a distraction for somebody else. Do you have a backup plan for no gun situations? Knife, OC etc.?

JLaw

[barres]

And my In-Laws couldn't figure out why I didn't want to drop my wife off at the gate and then go park when we went a while back.

Congratulations on making it home safe. I honestly hadn't thought of the bum being a distraction for someone else, either. Thanks for giving me something to think about.

[cyphur]

Good to hear you got out of that w/o incident. I hate having people walk to me in broad daylight, forget the night time. When that happens I usually have my knife open in my hand at the ready.....

Another place/reason that there should be fewer restrictions on where we can carry.


I wouldn't mind being disallowed from drinking alcohol at a pro sporting event if I could carry there. That would go a long way to relaxing many people's worries about it. Make it an instant revocation if you're caught doing so.

[fm2]

Good for you looking out for the next bad guy/s. Managing unknown folks can get tricky.

[KBCraig]

Bums, no matter which scam (window cleaners, "will work for food", "stranded, broke, please help!", etc.), all want one thing: cash. Even with a 98% rejection rate, they don't give up easily.

People who live honest lives are seldom prepared to confront the seedier underside on a personal level. It's unfortunate, but sometimes you will be in that position.

If you are, your first step is to not avoid the person. By that, I mean seeking to avoid further interaction once it starts. By all means, if you can spot someone like that and take a different route, do so. But once you're actually accosted... face the person.

Avoidance is weakness. Avoidance --in the mind of the accoster-- says you'll do anything to get rid of him without confrontation. In his mind, that means if he keeps hammering, keeps pushing, keeps cornering, you'll give in and cough up the cash to get rid of him.

At the same time, people who live such a tenuous existence have a very fine-tuned sense of self preservation. They'll seldom push back against strength. It's not an ego issue for them that they have to win the confrontation; they want the cash, quickly, so they can move on to the next victim.

I deal professionally with a higher percentage of criminal sociopaths that most people will ever encounter. But outside my job, out of uniform, I bump into them just like everyone else. Once accosted, I take a position of strength, not one of trying to get away. There are many ways to do that that are beyond the scope of this thread, but fixing someone with a firm stare, a big toothy grin, and an unmistakeable, "You got nuthin' comin', my man!" usually drives the point home.

An entirely different issue is the "group tactic". If you're with a group, but you're the one dealing with the accoster, then at least one set of eyes needs to be "pulling perimeter". Hard to set up in advance with a casual social gathering, I know... the natural reaction for others in the groups is to either stare at or participate in the interaction, or to avoid it and shirk away.

With all that said... every now and then, one of "those people" is going to be well and truly crazy, and won't back down with a "Aight, my bad, I see you folks are busy..." Every now and then, one of them loses that sense of self preservation, and winning this argument becomes not just an ego issue, but life-or-death. That's why when you're dealing with a bum/beggar in a direct, smiling way, you have to be prepared to act quickly and decisively if something goes south.

Kevin

[jbirds1210]

I deal professionally with a higher percentage of criminal sociopaths that most people will ever encounter.

Kevin-
I agree and understand where you are coming from here. I have found that dealing with people on the street are much like dealing with inmates. Firm, fair and impossibly stubborn! Got me through seven years of that fun life. Much like working in a prison, I demand personal space and am very quick to vocalize this with someone approaching me.

Remember not to worry about hurting feelings...you are the one whose privacy and peaceful walk is being disturbed!

Trying to pretend a bum is not there will do nothing to keep them from pushing you. It is a waste of their time and energy when they know from the very beginning that their efforts are wasted. Don't beat around the bush. I agree with whoever mentioned OC...IMO this is a great secondary weapon, but not as good as the one between your ears!
Jason

[DustinB]

You also have to consider who is with you and how they will react towards people like that. When I go downtown with my brother he likes to stop and talk to them, get their life story, and all that other bull. In the time I spend trying to get him to come on we could easily end up surrounded.

[Rex B]

Dustin, sounds like you are the designated perimeter man ;)

[Skipper5]

Picked up somewhere in one of the threads/rooms the statement:

"No Sir/Mam, I'm sorry I cannot help you today" . ...in a strong voice and looking directly at the individual.

First tried it out on business / pleasure trip to C. California (yeah ha carry country!)..and actually that stopped any further conversation. One fellow even apologized ..."sorry to bother you"....but that was in day-light in front of a a 7-11 in San Diego. Actually, did stop and talk with that fellow for a few minutes.

That statement does work wonders for me...no follow up required I've found!

[dihappy]

Picked up somewhere in one of the threads/rooms the statement:

"No Sir/Mam, I'm sorry I cannot help you today" . ...in a strong voice and looking directly at the individual.

That statement does work wonders for me...no follow up required I've
found!

Ive said something similar lately, "I'm sorry i cant help you today" in a firm voice. It has gotten my point across.

And even though i may come across as "unfriendly" to some truly unfortunate people, my and my loved ones safety is much more important.

I usually just make that statement after i hear the first "Excuse me sir".
I dont even let them explain or tell me what they want.

[gregthehand]

I actually have a tactic of my own that has worked a few times for me. I tried it out at the suggestion of a buddy of mine in the Army. When I see someone about to panhandle me, or they start I stop them mid-sentence and say...

"Hey man you got a dollar or two I can burrow?"

Usually I just get a look of shock. One time I had one say "Hell no I don't!" and walk away. I have had one say something like he was going to ask me for one and I just said "Well I guess were both broke then." Seems to work well.