Aliens may destroy humanity to protect other civilisations,

[sjfcontrol]

Sounds more like the product of a 8th grader's feverish imagination than a university report.

I'm not worried, though; I have a towel.

Don't panic...

42

So long, and thanks for all the...

FISH!!

[A-R]

This is a report compiled at Penn State on behalf of NASA's planetary sciences division.

Whoever authorized taxpayer dollars be spent on this "research" should be fired and all scientific, educational, and government credentials permanently revoked.

Let these morons sell trinkets in Roswell the rest of their days. In an non-air conditioned roadside shack.

[threoh8]

Will my zombie guns work on space aliens?

[7075-T7]

The one aspect of this which all of the papers seem to ignore is that if "they" are really watching from afar, then given how "afar" afar is, any measurement of our current planetary state would be seen years to millenia down the road in our timeline. Many of the stars in our sky could not exist anymore but since the light or information otherwise has not reached us yet, we are blisfully unaware.

Heck, the sun is stollen by Carmen Sandiego we wouldn't have the slightest idea for around 8 minutes.

So, either they're observing from a close location, in which their technology is so superior to ours there's no point in worrying about it since it won't be a fight, or they're so far away that we will likely never encounter them because we will have destroyed ourselves years before they even see an increase in greenhouse gasses. Or, the slightly amusing outcome of we figure out how to reduce emissions significantly and are a peaceful, clean, and harmless species, but the aliens don't know that from their measurements and send a guided bomb to the earth for something we already fixed..

Edit for obligtory "ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US" comment.

[chasfm11]

This is a report compiled at Penn State on behalf of NASA's planetary sciences division.

Whoever authorized taxpayer dollars be spent on this "research" should be fired and all scientific, educational, and government credentials permanently revoked.

Let these morons sell trinkets in Roswell the rest of their days. In an non-air conditioned roadside shack.

How cruel! After all, these "researchers" were just following in the footsteps of the ones who found that the polar bears drowned due to the diminishing ice flow. If one can determine cause of death of a polar bear from airplane 1,500 feet up, how much of leap is it to be able to determine that ETs will destroy humanity from a few hundred light years away? Your are just trying stifle imaginative science. That is a new branch of science where the facts are irrelevant.

[RPB]

Will my zombie guns work on space aliens?

Dunno, but 1 bullet per 1 Alien is so ineffective when you can just throw a used Kleenex at one and whatever that one catches, he'll give 2 friends, and they'll give 2 friends and so on and so on ... save the ammo .... and save used Kleenexes

Well ... maybe not all of them ...

improbability is the heart of the Fermi Paradox

What's the probability of that invading alien ship turning into a bowl of flowers?

And ... what was that whale thinking?

[Oldgringo]

Will my zombie guns work on space aliens?

Dunno, but 1 bullet per 1 Alien is so ineffective when you can just throw a used Kleenex at one and whatever that one catches, he'll give 2 friends, and they'll give 2 friends and so on and so on ... save the ammo .... and save used Kleenexes

Well ... maybe not all of them ...

improbability is the heart of the Fermi Paradox

What's the probability of that invading alien ship turning into a bowl of flowers?

And ... what was that whale thinking?

You must remember, "War of the Worlds"?

[The Annoyed Man]

Will my zombie guns work on space aliens?

Depends on the caliber. For the little green ones, .22LR is probably sufficient. Those large heads make hard-to-miss targets.

For the big ones operating Mechs, you're going to need a Barret .50.

[SwimFan85]

Will my zombie guns work on space aliens?

Depends on the caliber. For the little green ones, .22LR is probably sufficient. Those large heads make hard-to-miss targets.

That's where their stomach is, so it won't be a quick stop.

I said too much. Here come the MIBs.

[RPB]

Will my zombie guns work on space aliens?

Dunno, but 1 bullet per 1 Alien is so ineffective when you can just throw a used Kleenex at one and whatever that one catches, he'll give 2 friends, and they'll give 2 friends and so on and so on ... save the ammo .... and save used Kleenexes

Well ... maybe not all of them ...

improbability is the heart of the Fermi Paradox

What's the probability of that invading alien ship turning into a bowl of flowers?

And ... what was that whale thinking?

You must remember, "War of the Worlds"?

[youtube]http://youtube.com/watch?v=MsK6aRuSBIc[/youtube]