A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, a slide-rule and a calculator. At a morning press conference, Attorney General Eric Holder said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement.
He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.
'Al-Gebra is a problem for us', the Attorney General said. 'They derive solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values.' They use secret code names like "X" and "Y" and refer to themselves as "unknowns" but we have determined that they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philosopher Isosceles used to say, "There are 3 sides to every triangle."
When asked to comment on the arrest, President Obama said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes." White House aides told reporters they could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the President. It is believed that another Nobel Prize will follow.
Teacher Arrested At Airport!
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JALLEN
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Teacher Arrested At Airport!
Last edited by JALLEN on Tue Mar 26, 2013 12:14 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Pawpaw
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Re: Teacher Arreted At Airport!
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RPBrown
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TexDotCom
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Re: Teacher Arrested At Airport!
LOVE it!!!
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Syntyr
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Re: Teacher Arrested At Airport!
Stolen and Facebooked. Maybe I can get a few more liberal friends to de-friend me over this. I love stirring the pot!
Syntyr
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The Annoyed Man
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Re: Teacher Arrested At Airport!
Ditto DITTO!Syntyr wrote:Stolen and Facebooked. Maybe I can get a few more liberal friends to de-friend me over this. I love stirring the pot!
“Hard times create strong men. Strong men create good times. Good times create weak men. And, weak men create hard times.”
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C-dub
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Re: Teacher Arrested At Airport!
Ditto ditto ditto.The Annoyed Man wrote:Ditto DITTO!Syntyr wrote:Stolen and Facebooked. Maybe I can get a few more liberal friends to de-friend me over this. I love stirring the pot!
I am not and have never been a LEO. My avatar is in honor of my friend, Dallas Police Sargent Michael Smith, who was murdered along with four other officers in Dallas on 7.7.2016.
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Zen
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Re: Teacher Arrested At Airport!
I just wt myself. Awesome!-
7075-T7
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Re: Teacher Arrested At Airport!
Forewarded to Ms. 7075-T7, who is an Al-gebra teacher. 
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RPBrown
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Re: Teacher Arrested At Airport!
C-dub wrote:Ditto ditto ditto.The Annoyed Man wrote:Ditto DITTO!Syntyr wrote:Stolen and Facebooked. Maybe I can get a few more liberal friends to de-friend me over this. I love stirring the pot!
Me too
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MeMelYup
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Re: Teacher Arrested At Airport!
If he had a slide-ruler why did he need a calculator? An abacus, slide-ruler and calculator all provide the same function.
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TexDotCom
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Re: Teacher Arrested At Airport!
I believe the MSM would call that "an arsenal".MeMelYup wrote:If he had a slide-ruler why did he need a calculator? An abacus, slide-ruler and calculator all provide the same function.
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JALLEN
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Re: Teacher Arrested At Airport!
Well, of course they do, but the young guys who write these silly things probably never saw one and have no idea, just about like writing stories about dinosaurs or horseless carriages or something.MeMelYup wrote:If he had a slide-ruler why did he need a calculator? An abacus, slide-ruler and calculator all provide the same function.
Luckily, I have enough willpower to control the driving ambition that rages within me.
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bdickens
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Re: Teacher Arrested At Airport!
JALLEN wrote:A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, a slide-rule and a calculator. At a morning press conference, Attorney General Eric Holder said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement.
He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.
'Al-Gebra is a problem for us', the Attorney General said. 'They derive solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values.' They use secret code names like "X" and "Y" and refer to themselves as "unknowns" but we have determined that they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philosopher Isosceles used to say, "There are 3 sides to every triangle."
When asked to comment on the arrest, President Obama said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes." White House aides told reporters they could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the President. It is believed that another Nobel Prize will follow.
I'll be sending you the bill for a new keyboard and monitor.
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TexasFlash
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Re: Teacher Arrested At Airport!
MeMelYup wrote:If he had a slide-ruler why did he need a calculator? An abacus, slide-ruler and calculator all provide the same function.
new york reload, maybe?