I decide on the "Smart Carry" and my Colt Defender, now should I go condition 1, use the mag with range rounds or the hollow-points? The little voice in my head darkly chuckles and says "do you really think the family jewels will care what type of .45 caliber round hit them?" I chicken out an go "condition 3". (I know, I've read all the discussions). Tan cargo pants and a "long" black tee shirt fill out the wardrobe.
Wally World parking lot...screwing-up my courage after listening to "Midnight Rider", I enter the mouth of the beast. It feels like every eye in the place is on me and the 911 call has already gone out to the police. Even thought I've cinched the cargo pant up tight they keep creeping down, the back of the "Smart Carry" band is now only hidden by my black tee. I stop in front of a cart and hitch up my pants. Heading for the sporting goods I purchase 100 rds of cci blazer 45 cal and 100 rds of 9mm. My cargo pants have now slipped down again, only this time it looks like I'm either on Viagra or have a gun in my pants, the black tee is still covering though as I pull at it to stretch it out more. The Sporting Goods clerk wants to talk about pistols, I want to run screaming from the building.
Finally after what seems days I head for the "meat" section and buy a brisket to smoke (instead of nachos, it's an Atkins thing). Now I'm headed for the checkout counter and it feels like those cargo pants are down around my ankles now, so as the clerk scans my purchase out I once again hitch up my pants. The Viagra effects seems to diminish somewhat and I make it to the jeep without any further incident.I'm now back safely in my castle and have avoided embarrassment, a quick check of the news and I find no all points bulletins for my arrest, no police sketches, no warrent, I've made it....not bad, not bad at all.
Note to self get a good belt for those cargo pants and go up a size on the tee's.
A rite of passage is now behind me.
