So your wife....

[lawrnk]

Totally avoiding anything that slightly smells of misogyny...my wife basically hates guns now that we have a toddler. She is not against the 2nd, rather some inate fear. Ironically she bought sigs and glocks for her previous fiancee who was a pearland cop. He was also a really worthless guy(and worse than Stalin if gave you the relational details) and maybe ruined the 2nd as far as my wife is concerned. I have owned guns the last decade, but this year I have been learning and not being just a gun guy with a home defense gun. I consider myself a collector now and still a total newbie, and buy a new one each month.
The wife cites safety, etc.. Refuses to buy anything I want for Christmas.
I asked for a safe for my b-day, have not gotten it. I only lock and load my glock at home. Am I a loner here in this respect? She has zero interest in the range, and has no support for my new "hobby"

[flb_78]

rut-roh raggy. Sounds like you got some choppy water to navigate through.

good luck.

[stevie_d_64]

Its all in how you sell the idea...Guns are not something she is unfamiliar with...

An effort to secure ALL of your firearms that are not in active service on or about your personal control, to me is a very mature, and reasonable purchase...One that could be made together...

That to me would be the first step in getting her to wrap around the idea that there are other people out there besides law enforcement, that know what they are doing with "guns"...

If I can be as brutally honest as I can about this issue...

[KC5AV]

You are not alone. My wife has so far tolerated my long guns. From the beginning, though, she has made no secret of her distaste for handguns.

I'm making progress, though. She has agreed to accompany me to the range at some point, and actually take the gigantic step of firing a handgun for the first time in her life.

I'm excited even if she isn't.

[AFJailor]

My wife loves guns of all kinds...but if she thinks they are at all ugly she wont give them a second look, not even if they are the best guns in the world.

[Lumberjack98]

First, get the safe.

Second, develop a household defense plan that you can both agree on. There are small wall safes that you can buy and put close by that your toddler will not be able you reach, and you can get into very quickly.

[Lykoi]

taken 3years to get my wife up to comfort with firearms...

when we started dating she new they were part of my life, and her request was to keep them locked up when she was around...

I started slow when we dated, having one out when she came by, and showing her how to make it "safe" for her... she learned to clear the chamber and eject the mags from all my guns, and it really helped to keep her comfort level manageable.

a few years later and some understanding of gun safety and i purchased her first firearm a few weeks back.. sig p230 (she's gor expensive taste) got her the gun she wanted, and the one SHE liked... she's already talking about getting her CHL possibly, and she even took it on her trip this weekend to keep in the car....


when it comes to women you have to understand it's about their comfort level, they need to trust you and more importantly themselves with guns around... there's no magical formula, no instant fix... it's all about exposure over time and building a comfort level slowly...

as she is your wife, you have the best opportunity to show her safety and to familiarize her with the 4 safety rules...

My wife's first range trip was great... and the final step IMO to letting her know SHE controls the weapon, and it's not just a "dangerous thing".

Her first target, NEVER SHOT IN HER LIFE BEFORE THIS!! she's probably a better shot than i was my first time.. but she's got the benefit of my training ;)




HER!!! sig... not mine... she keeps reminding me :) lol





in the end it's a combination of your safety practices and her comfort... if you're not safe with them, she won't feel safe... if she's not comfortable it won't matter... try and make it a quick thing... spend a few minutes showing her something and then leave it alone for a few weeks... It took almost 3 full years for my wife to go from NO! I HATE GUNS!! to asking me about training classes and caliber opinions...

sat when she left for her trip she grabbed HER sig, and racked the slide in front of me to chamber a round for the drive... I had a grin ear to ear.

[frankie_the_yankee]

Go buy a safe. Don't ask. Just do it. If you're collecting guns and have a small child, you need a safe. You don't need to explain it, justify it, or get anybody's permission.

Just do it.

Buy guns whenever you want. Store them safely in the safe.

Keep one locked & loaded either on your person or in some kind of quick access safe for home defense. (Buy one of these too if you don't already have one.)

Once in a while, buy your wife a diamond ring of some sort. In fact, do it this month.

She'll understand. Trust me.

[lrb111]

My wife was near anti-gun in the house. Now she is an instructor, and has qualified twice at that level in the last year and a half.

It's a slow process of "it's us against them, honey, but I vow to protect us."
My personal coup de gras was after my wife was telling someone she did'nt need a chl, cause her husband had his".
On the way home I mused "you know,,, If someone surprises me at the gas pump, they Can get the drop on me. I would be down and then they would have my gun. All the doorlocks in the world are not going to do much good, if you are trapped in the passenger seat."

Now, the whole process was a couple years, and it was a process. Softly, slowly, and positively.

[Odin]

Good luck with that, I can't help because my wife doesn't mind guns and supports the 2A. She doesn't care for shooting much because she doesn't like the recoil and noise and it just doesn't hold her interest, but she's OK with there being many loaded guns in the house. We don't have any kids. I couldn't have a serious relationship with someone who was that different from me on the subject of the 2A that she didn't want guns in my house.

[tboesche]

When I started dating my wife, back in 1985, I had several guns at that time. Being stationed aboard the USS RAnger, I had no where to keep them except at friends houses. She let me keep them at her apartment, provided they were unloaded. One night, I asked her to do something I read in the book Little Drummer Girl. In the book the Main charecter, an undercover spy is asked to kiss the Walther PPK of the Terrorist she is getting close to. Well I am no Terrorist, but I had a PPK. She thought it was funny but she kissed that bad boy. She since gotten comfortable with them and has gone to the range once or twice with me, mostly just before I would deploy, leaving her alone for 6 months. She always kept one of the handguns loaded under the mattress just in case. She is not wild about my CHL and me carrying all of the time, Once the plastic arrives, but understands why I want to. One of these days i will get her her own gun, Maybe the Walther P22.

[DoubleActionCHL]

"Safety" is a relative term. Are you safer without guns in the house or on your person, or are you safer with them? It all depends on the situation and your (or her) perception. While she apparently sees guns as a safety liability, would her view change if, heaven forbid, your house was burglarized or she was robbed in the mall parking lot?

Having children does not preclude one from being a safe, responsible gun owner. You definitely take additional precautions with little fingers in the house, but it's very do-able. As several have mentioned, buy yourself a gun safe. They're not that expensive and they come in many different sizes and configurations. But more importantly, the biggest consideration is your safety attitude. You'll need to become ten times more diligent about the whereabouts and status of your carry weapon.

[lws380]

Several years ago my wife was against me getting CHL. Thought I did not need it and waste of time. No interest in the guns. Over time she came around and I got the CHL. She even asked about her getting CHL. Took her to the range once. She needs lots of work. She says she feels better and safer with me carrying and totally approves.

I went to the range the other day and was commenting to her that the guy next to me borrowed his friends revolver and shot it. However, did not know how to open the revolver and empty the spent shells. I handed her an unloaded .38 special (442) and asked her if she know how to open a revolver. She took it from me an pointed in a safe direction and said oh yea, with this one you push this little thing forward and the wheel falls out.

We are making progress! Hang in there!

[shootthesheet]

I agree with those who say to go get a safe on your own. Don't ask, just do it. Then, find some info on how to teach young kids about gun safety. Doesn't matter if you already know or not. I started teaching my oldest son at age 3 to stay away, not to touch, and to go tell an adult. I even designated a toy gun as "the practice gun". I would hide it and then bring it out and lay it in the yard or on a dresser or such to test him. It was a game he was able to learn a very valuable lesson from. More importantly, my wife was won over by that and my constant insistence on safety. I got out of bed in the middle of the night and went to check to see if the safe was locked. I bought a lock box handgun safe and to put my carry gun in. Most of all, I stopped asking or trying to get her involved. I just started doing what I felt was necessary and buying what I needed without her input. I don't know if it is coming from a point of strength or what but she is okay with firearms now. I do educate her on the latest news reports about bad guys and guns but just as a matter of pointing them out. I told her that I love her and I am capable of owning and handling a firearm and proved it to her. She usually wants to buy me at least one gun a year now. I think she realized guns are no more dangerous than a bathroom door left open or chemicals left out or any unobserved young child. Don't lose heart. You do not have to give anything up in order to make her feel better. You just have to be who you are as a man and make sure she understands you are responsible and beyond safe with firearms. Calm her fear with action and not just words.

[G.C.Montgomery]

Totally avoiding anything that slightly smells of misogyny...my wife basically hates guns now that we have a toddler. She is not against the 2nd, rather some inate fear. Ironically she bought sigs and glocks for her previous fiancee who was a pearland cop. He was also a really worthless guy(and worse than Stalin if gave you the relational details) and maybe ruined the 2nd as far as my wife is concerned. I have owned guns the last decade, but this year I have been learning and not being just a gun guy with a home defense gun. I consider myself a collector now and still a total newbie, and buy a new one each month.
The wife cites safety, etc.. Refuses to buy anything I want for Christmas.
I asked for a safe for my b-day, have not gotten it. I only lock and load my glock at home. Am I a loner here in this respect? She has zero interest in the range, and has no support for my new "hobby"

To the surprise of many folks, my wife is not a fan of guns. She's not opposed to them but she'll probably never, in this lifetime or the next, buy a gun for me for a special occasion of any kind. Early on, just before we got married, I was told we couldn't have firearms in the house and they'd have to be put in a shed or something outside the house. Not even the garage was acceptable as a location for the safe. Kids were in the equation but didn't exist yet and were a large basis of the fears that went with that decree. Rather than answer back with, "I had these guns before I had you..." I explained to her how I felt and tried as much as possible to keep the emotion out of it after expressing empathy for her point of view.

Contrary to the advice of some, I did use logic and reason to settle the matter...And it was no surprise to me that it worked. That's one of the reasons I married my wife...While very much a woman, and a girly girl at heart, she's more than willing to accept pure logic and reason. I do however recognize there are times when my wife does not want a logical response to her complaints. She just wants me to listen without offering any of my perfectly logical solutions or reasons indicating she's being irrational, at least not right then. After she's had time to calm down and the anger is past, she's ready to fix the problem.

I don't know your wife. But I would strongly suggest that if she was worth marrying, she is probably receptive to your opinion on this issue. The deal is, you may have to give a lot more than you get...That's marriage. It's not always 50/50 and some times you are going to have to agree to disagree. On this issue though, you have to find some sort of solution both of you can live with or it will be one of those things you sling at each other from opposite sides of the courtroom years from now. I'd start with purchasing the safe on your own. I realize this sounds corny but it shows intiative and commitment on your part. You may be able to start the discussion on this issue once the safe is installed and you've moved all your guns inside.