Getting into Law Enforcement

[TXGLOCK29]

I am new to the forum, but I have been reading for a few months now. I have been licensed for 3 weeks and am getting closer every day to taking the steps to become a LEO. This message is for all of the current and former LEO's in the forum, I am a newly wed who has always wanted to be an officer. My wife is just now coming around to the idea of me going through with it, but she has a few concerns. What experiences/advice could you all give me to assure my wife that her fears of my law enforcement career (death/serious injury) although understood, are not as severe as she believes them to be? Thank you!

[milkcartonkid]

i am a military policeman which means i get to police both the best of America's citizens and unfortunately some of the worst, how do can i say this...."aspects" of americans, at any rate a book i once read written by Texas Ranger Joaquin Jackson sums up the best advice for new or almost new cops:
1. Never let anyone get the drop on you. (paraphrase)

oh, and he goes on to say, when you get finished with a gunfight, find a quiet place to sit and call your wife and tell her that you love her.

[srothstein]

I talked over my career desires with my wife when I first proposed. I explained some of the obvious dangers, and some of the less obvious (like when she reaches around to hug me and finds a pistol in the way). Communication is probably the best bet to avoid marital discord. Worked for me as our 32 anniversary is in about 1 week.

Now, you might point out to her the real facts on the number of officers hurt or killed in the line of duty, which is only a little over 200 per year killed. For on the job injuries or deaths, police work is NOT in the top ten jobs in the US. Statistically, most cops go their whole careers without ever firing a gun or being shot at in the line of duty. Point out that our safety options are improving all the time, such as with new technology improving the bullet resistant vests (getting almost to bullet proof).

And to be fair, advise her of some of the real risks you will face. In addition to the physical danger, their is a much larger chance of some type of psychological change. Stress can get bad in some cases and cause personality changes. You will have days you will not want to talk about to her. Working weird shifts and not being available for family things can also stress a marriage. You will probably develop a weird sense of humor if you do not already have one (cops learn to use humor to help deal with stress and it does change their sense of humor). You might develop a certain hardness to things that bother many people, such as talking about dead bodies during dinner.

One thing you might do is see if there is a police union near where you live. They may have a wives auxiliary or some classes for wives. This can help explain to her how others have seen their husbands change and how to deal with it. It can also help convince her that this really is a relatively safe job compared to some of the perceptions.

Also, try explaining to her why you feel drawn to police work. It will help you understand why yourself if you have to explain to her. This will help you deal with things when it gets tough (either in training or later).

[AEA]

Good post srothstein........

Very well said.

My Son is going through the Police Training Academy in Canada now. He will graduate in September.

[KRM45]

I went into local law enforcement at the age of 34. I had been married for 7 years and have 2 children. I mostly went in to serve and protect my community. I left a successful engineering job and took a considerable pay cut to do it. I had talked about it at length with my wife and kids. I thought I would do the job for 5-6 years and then return to my previous career.

I thought about how the job would affect those around me, but I guess I didn't realize how it would affect me. After the academy I was working 12 hour shifts from 6:00pm to 6:00am. I really missed the time spent with my family. I was bored to tears during those long shifts, and was having a hard time adjusting to the day/night change.

This seemed to affect my relationships with my friends, and the other parrents I associated with around my kids. People seem to treat you differently when they know you're a cop. And if you ever need to interact with someone you know in an official capacity, they will remember it.

Anyway, after a short period of time, I realized I was making just as much, if not more positive impact on my community in my engineering role than I was as a cop. I quit and went back to my full time job. I am now a reserve officer in a town a few milse from here. That seems to work better for me.

Good luck with your decision.