Kind of an amaturish topic, but what else is new...

[stevie_d_64]

I saw an interesting discussion on another forum about being scolded by a Law Enforcement officer about having your CHL, and not having the firearm with you at the time of a traffic stop...

Now talk about embarassing...We hear all the time about how harsh "certain" (not all, just that token few... ) agencies being critical of our carrying firearms for whatever reasons...And then this...

I'm actually kinda jazzed by the incident...

My issue is that my wife has her CHL, and is due to renew it very soon this year...And as embarrasing as it is to admit, she has only carried one time (by herself) in that 4 years...

How do I get over the pain...And more important...

How do I "nurture" the carry mentality in "Wife-Unit"???

[longtooth]

Every wife is different as are we husbands. For some it took an "incident" to get them to carry. Others do all the time. Mine took an incident to decide to get CHL & carry. After CHL if she was alone, she had it. When I was there, no pistol. She said, You are here & I am safe. Well remember if I ever need this thing I have told you CHL is already outdrawn so what if I go down protectiong you. A backup sure would be nice. She has had it ever since. Mom had hers before the wife. Mom is now pushing 76 & when she wants to go out of town or out after dark she calls me now. She used to carry 24-7 when she came & went as she pleased when she pleased. Call & say she would be out of town for ____days at_______. See you when I get back.
Bottom line is listen for every opportune moment to encourage. If she would be incouraged by talking to another lady that carries, let her post one to me or PM & I will put the wife on the keyboard. llwatson is a lady instructor on the board. There are several ladies that are not instrctors that would probably respond quickly to a Q on the ladies forum. Pas that, hope it does not take a personal incident.
I too would like to see more officers telling the public they want them on the street as long as they are not ridiculing them.

[Greybeard]

Yep, had it happen to one of my female students a few years back. She did not get the traffic ticket, but a "semon" instead. Something to the effect of "What? You spent all that time and money to get the CHL and your gun is at home? Here you are a woman alone out her in the middle of nowhere after dark and your gun is at home? What good would it do you if needed tonight if it is at HOME!!!"

Just a longtooth said "Every wife is different as are we husbands." It is tough sometimes, especially if they get complacent.

And carrying is a very personal decision, kinda like getting married. Speaking of which, my wife carried much more frequently when the kids were young - much more "protective" then.

Unfortunately, it often takes an "incident" to get some motivated. As a CHL instructor, I hear numerous tales from female-types who've experienced "the dark side of humanity". In last class was a 110 lb. lady who was there to get legal for what she (thankfully) was doing anyway (carrying in her purse). She was using spray wand at a carwash when two car loads of dudes used their vehicles to block hers in. She promptly got in car, locked doors and showed 'em her 5-holer. At which point they decided to leave. Could have been real ugly.

She's going to a semi 9mm now - and on-body carry!

[KBCraig]

Yep, had it happen to one of my female students a few years back. She did not get the traffic ticket, but a "semon" instead.

I really, really hope you mis-spelled "sermon", and not some other word. Because getting that other one has been used to get out of tickets before, but most agencies frown on it.



Kevin

[Greybeard]

Kevin - Good catch. Yep, shudda been seRmon. Thanks. Too much coffee. Or not enough.

Another lady in the same class had been burglarized. In interview with the captured perp (who is now in prison), detective ask him "Why did you choose HER house?" Answer (that just about made my lady student's blood boil): "We knew she was SINGLE."

[stevie_d_64]

Speaking of incidences...

While on active duty in San Diego, I had the chance to volunteer for a joint Navy / Marine Corp / San Diego County Sheriff Department Rape Prevention course(s)...Needless to say we ran into some very heartbreaking cases...

My part in the deal was that I was the tackling dummie...I was the dumb criminal (armor padded of course) that would give the ladies something to practice those hand-to-hand combat skills on...

I was never really knocked completely unconscious, but I had my bell rung a few times...And it wasn't the big girls who were suspect...It was those little petite ladies that did the most damage...

There was one other guy there who subbed for me, and he was a Marine...

We both got our fair share of beatings...

The SDSD folks ran the defensive and legal aspect of the classes, and we got the "benefit" of their instruction...

The hardest ones for me were the ladies who had had an incident, and still froze when we made our advances...To this day those are still the hardest memories I carry from my service days...

If I could have suggested (at that time) that the option to learn how to defend yourself with a firearm, and that the laws in that State could have been more friendly to that idea...I might have felt I contributed more to helping those women...

Maybe the approach the deputies had about myself and the other guy (Marine) in how the ladies were to interpret our presense...i.e. Mask/helmets off we were just friendly Steve and Scott...But when the masks were on...We were to be the worse nightmare the ladies could imagine...I hated that part, up to the point where I knew if they were going to be able to apply what they were taught effectively enough to not be a victim anymore...

Needless to say I wish that type of lesson could be taught these days...Because I know some can't do it from a physical standpoint...But some could learn to use just a few pounds of pressure from your index finger to deal with a threat better...And all it takes is mental preparation and the will to use it...

Sorry for the long rant...This tangent brings up some pretty good and bad memories...

[Crossfire]

Guys, unfortunately, carrying a weapon does not come easily to a woman. Because, if you carry, then you are mentally admitting that "yes, it could indeed happen to me".

I had my own personal "life-changing experience" in 1997. I made a decision right then that I would never be dependant on someone else to protect me and my chidren again.

I went to a local range and took an NRA Basic Pistol class on a Saturday. Practiced all week and took the CHL class the following Saturday. I was the only one in my class to shoot a perfect score on the proficiency test. (Motivation and Determination will beat out skill every time!)

It was 5 more years before I was ready to share my story with anyone else, and became an instructor. But, in the meantime, I taught my 3 teenagers how to shoot. Because, just like the cops, Mom can't alwasy be there to protect you.

So, without that "life-changing experience" I would not be here. I would not have met the many wonderful folks that I have along the way. I would not have gained the self confidence that I have now. In short, I would not be the same person.

I wish I could tell you how to make your wives, girlfriends and daughters understand this without going through it. I tell this story to every classroom full of men that I have. If the ladies in your life matter to you, give them the skills they need to protect themselves! Then, at least they can make an informed choice about what they want to do.

[longtooth]

greybeard I wish my wife would carry on person too. She is strictly a purse carry. That is still better than some men who sya, "I always have one in the truck" Does a lot of good when you are in the L. Cafeteria. Women's purse carry is 2nd best. llwatson, though I donot pretend to know how you feel I do understand what you say about the decision being harder for you than the men. Keep telling the story & one by one the #'s will increase.

[quidni]

So far I haven't had trouble myself, but my Mom came close back in 1980. She was working as the executive secretary for a small-town Chamber of Commerce, and happened to be the last one leaving the building that one evening. Hers was the last car in the parking lot. She was just sitting down in the driver's seat of her car, and was about to swing her legs in, when a man came out of nowhere, yanked the car door out of her hands and tried to climb in with her.

My mom was wearing stilletto heels that day.

She leaned back and gave him both of them. Heel first.

The description she gave to the police included "I didn't see much of his face, but look for someone running bent over double."

Now, she lives in Arizona, and she keeps a pistol handy. Her experience was one of the (several) reasons why I decided to get my CHL. (plus, recoil is a lot easier on my hands than stilletto heels are on my knees )

[flintknapper]

Excellent posts Ladies!

Thank you, for sharing.

It seems you both possess the most valuable tool you can have.......( MINDSET!)

No one, (man or woman), will be effective without having nurtured a "fighting mindset". All of the tools, training, time, effort and money spent, will be of little use.. UNLESS you have purposed to defend yourself.

There is nothing "un-lady like" about self defense. It tells me that you place enough value on your life (and well being) to defend it if necessary.

Good on ya, girls!

[longtooth]

+ 1 from me too. More ladies get in on this one. I will print them off & share them w/ other ladies that are thinking but just don't think carrying a gun is "lady like". 1st step I talked to my Mother & wife about when they started thinking of carrying was, I will not be your victim. I may loose this gunfight but you won't brag about it bleeding in the ER.