Combat for dummies

[RPBrown]

Advice and instructions taken from actual military sources. Some of these guys must have had a sense of humor

"Aim towards the enemy."
--Instruction printed on U.S. Rocket Launcher

"When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend."
--U.S. Marine Corps

"Cluster bombing from B-52s is very, very accurate. The bombs are guaranteed to always hit the ground."
--USAF Ammo Troop

"If the enemy is in range, so are you."
--Infantry Journal

"A slipping gear could let your m203 grenade launcher fire when you least expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what's left of your unit."
--Army's magazine of prevention maintenance

"It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed."
--U.S. Air Force manual

"Try to look unimportant; the enemy may be low on ammo."
--Infantry Journal

"Tracers work both ways."
--U.S. Army Ordnance

"Five-second fuses only last three seconds."
--Infantry Journal

"Bravery is being the only one who knows you're afraid."
--David Hackworth

"If your attack is going too well, you're walking into an ambush."
--Infantry Journal

"No combat-ready unit has ever passed inspection."
--Joe Gay

"Any ship can be a minesweeper....once."
--Anon

"Never tell the platoon sergeant you have nothing to do."
--Unknown Marine Recruit

"Don't draw fire; it irritates the people around you."
--Infantry Journal

"If you see a bomb technician running, try to keep up with him."
--USAF Ammo Troop

[flintknapper]

Always remember your weapon was made by the lowest bidder!

[RPBrown]

Always remember your weapon was made by the lowest bidder!

+1

[tex45acp]

Always remember your parachute and reserve chute were folded and packed by someone you do not know.

[HighVelocity]

"Never tell the platoon sergeant you have nothing to do."

That applies to ANY job. Never tell anyone in a supervisory position that you have nothing to do.

[Scotty] I dunno Capt, it could take 8-10 hours to get the engines going again[/Scotty]

:Captain Leaves engineering:

[Scotty] sets alarm clock for 6 hours so he can take a nap before he plugs the power back in[/Scotty]

[MoJo]

Always remember your parachute and reserve chute were folded and packed by someone you do not know.

And probably came to work with a hangover - - - - - - BTDT

[Jungle Work]

Murphy's Rules of Combat

(A comprehensive list obtained from various sources)

If the enemy is in range, so are you.

If you can see the enemy, they can see you.

Incoming fire has the right of way.

Friendly fire isn't.

The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.

Don't look conspicuous: it draws fire. This is why aircraft carriers are called bomb magnets.

There is always a way.

The easy way is always mined.

Try to look unimportant, they may be low on ammo.

Professionals are predictable, it's the amateurs that are dangerous.

The enemy only attacks on one of two occasions: When you're ready for them, and when you're not ready for them.

Teamwork is essential; it gives the enemy someone else to shoot at.

If you can't remember, the claymore is pointed at you.

If your attack is going well, you have walked into an ambush.

The enemy diversion you have been ignoring will be the main attack.

Don't draw fire, it irritates the people around you.

When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend.

If it's stupid but works, then it isn't stupid.

When in doubt empty the magazine.

Never share a fox hole with anyone braver than you.

Anything you do can get you shot. Including doing nothing.

Make it too tough for the enemy to get in and you can't get out.

Mines are equal opportunity weapons.

A Purple Heart just proves that were you smart enough to think of a plan, stupid enough to try it, and lucky enough to survive.

Don't ever be the first, don't ever be the last and don't ever volunteer to do anything.

The quartermaster has only two sizes: too large and too small.

Five second fuses only last three seconds.

It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed.

A "sucking chest wound" is nature's way of telling you you've been shot..

If you're short of everything but the enemy, you're in a combat zone.

When you have secured an area, don't forget to tell the enemy.

Never forget that your weapon is made by the lowest bidder.

You are not a superman.

No plan survives the first contact intact.

If you are forward of your position the artillery will always fall short.

The important things are always simple.

The simple things are always hard.

No combat ready unit ever passed inspection.

Beer math: two beers times 37 men equal 49 cases.

Body count math: two guerillas plus one portable plus two pigs equals 37 enemy KIA.

Things that must be together to work usually can't be shipped together.

Radios will fail as soon as you desperately need fire support.

Tracers work both ways.

If you take more than your fair share of objectives, you will have more
than your fair share of objectives to take.

When both sides are convinced that they are about to lose, they are both right.

If it moves, shoot it.

If it doesn't move, poke it with your gun barrel and then shoot it.

Overkill works.

Murphy was a grunt.

Jungle Work

[diamondback]

And lest we forget:

"No inspection-ready unit ever passed combat."

Can't remember where I saw that, but seems to be an accurate reflection of "parade-ground soldiers"...

God bless all of our soldiers, sailors, airmen, Marines and Guardsmen (both Coast and National).