So my wife is coming around

[CrimsonSoul]

After talking to my neighbor today my wife told me that she doesn't care that I carry anymore and assumes that I never leave the house without it. This conversation came up after my neighbor was telling her about a story in the paper where a guy at an apartment complex nearby (right by the high school here) was shot through his front door seven times out of eight shots and a robbery outside of Fudruckers at gunpoint. So it's good she's comfortable with me and my carry status.


Here's the link to the paper, the guy knew something was going to happen because a few days before he made his mom leave the apartment: http://thefacts.com/story.lasso?ewcd=4c26d5b9b8a8a189" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

[The Annoyed Man]

Was she adamantly against before, or just mildly uncomfortable with it?

[CrimsonSoul]

She hates/ed guns and hates/ed that I have them in the house and now not so much. now when I go shoot sometimes she will go watch me (she says baby steps to actually shooting on herself as the "boom" scares her)

[Quahog]

She hates/ed guns and hates/ed that I have them in the house and now not so much. now when I go shoot sometimes she will go watch me (she says baby steps to actually shooting on herself as the "boom" scares her)

I was in much the same boat. My wife seemed cool (at best) with me having the gun around at first, but now she seems to be fine with it. The most progress was made after I bought a 22, took her to the range and let her shoot "her" gun. She was like a fish taking to water. I feel like her handling the weapon, shooting it, feeling satisfaction in her target, etc. went a long way towards that acceptance.

I'd have to say that patience is the best help here... with time, acceptance seems to just improve.

[texas1234]

I have learned that a wife who has that kind of sentiment towards guns will come around for awhile, but the question is.....is she fully accepting it or is she just living with it. If she is just living with it, the issue will come out at some point and you wont like it. My advice is to not talk about it when you carry and dont talk about crimes or the reason you carry. She is fully aware that crime is a serious matter, she may not be as aware of what goes on as you, but ultimately you will look like the nut at some point if you dont play your cards right. Your doing the right thing by being a man and doing what you can to protect your family but at the same time give it lots of time, dont force the issue, and in the meantime just keep doing what you are doing without much discussion. My Wife is not a gun advocate, she hates/ed guns, but over time without me forcing the issue she now owns her own shotgun for self defense for when I travel. HOWEVER the issue of me carrying can still be a point of debate from time to time and its why I never talk about it.

My point is Marriages have ups and downs highs and lows, and during the downs and lows if she is just living with this issue, Trust me man, its gonna come back up!!!!

[CrimsonSoul]

I just read marriages as migraines I think I need to go back to sleep

[Excaliber]

She hates/ed guns and hates/ed that I have them in the house and now not so much. now when I go shoot sometimes she will go watch me (she says baby steps to actually shooting on herself as the "boom" scares her)

This is a common response. We are hard wired to react with a startle response to sudden loud noises, and many women (and some males) have a negative emotional experience when this happens. The natural response is to want to avoid the situation that produced that upsetting experience.

Comfort can be greatly increased by getting your wife a set of earmuffs rated 33db instead of the cheap ones at most gun ranges and using a set of soft foam earplugs underneath. This greatly reduces the noise heard by the user and usually keeps it below the level that produces the discomfort of the startle response. Taking her to an outdoor range and trying to select shooting positions away from folks firing rifles or magnum handguns will reduce the discomfort further and perhaps help set the stage for the next step.

[cougartex]

Glad to hear she is comfortable with your CHL. Now see if she will go to the gun range and learn to shoot.

[Ol Zeke]

Show her this video

http://pjtv.com/v/3431" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

My wife was the same way, when we were first maried (23 yrs ago), but came around. She now watches videos like this and works out scenarios for similar situations. She also got her CHL, last year! She never misses an episode of PERSONAL DEFENSE on TV.

[SecedeTX]

My wife is a little bit different. She was not born in America, and in her culture nobody had personal firearms. Her entire family that lives here now has zero firearms. The two Americans who married into thier culture are the two who are armed with equally nice collections ranging from hunting to tactical.

I purchased my wife her own .38 lightweight revolver and she was under-thrilled. I guess she wanted something silly like a diamond tennis bracelette. The first time we went to the range was not a good experience for her. In hindsight, I should of handled it differently. My lifelong exposure to firearms is not shared by her. Live and learn.

After 13 years of marriage, I now have to ask permission to take "her" gun to the range. She goes every now and then, and whenever anyone else in the family (huge family) asks about guns, she is proud to say that she has one and is good at shooting it.

At this point, many in her family want to get something for protection but are a little...errrr...gun-shy because of lack of familiarity.

The next thing is to get my wife to get a CHL, but it is simply not a priority for her. She thinks the idea of me having a firearm on me is a good thing, as does her family.

In my case, the wife is comming around, her family supports it and wants to get armed but don't know where to start, and me and the other American with 7 other of the younger generation from her family just went out to the local gun range to let them experience shooting for the first time.

[Ldy AlliDu]

Some excellent advice, I am hypersensitive to noice (getting better),
good ear protection is important, and not pushing the issue is probably a very good idea.

[SecedeTX]

My mistake going shooting with my wife the first time is really simple.

I was comfortable at shooting ranges
I was comfortable with firearms
I was comfortable with the noise
I was not intimadated by firearms

I assumed that my experience would be hers

She was scared, out of her environment, on edge, and did not know what to expect her first time. Again, I should of looked at it through her eyes. If I had to do it over again, I would of done it much differently.

She did get over my misguided introduction to shooting tho...but it could of been a smoother path to get there.

Now that I have more grey hair, I get it.