We had a small fish pond in the back yard (for those that have recently been to my house, it was about 1/10 the size of our current pond) and I was replanting some of the pond plants that had become root bound. I was squatted down with a razor knife in one hand and a potted plant in the other trying to cut the pot away. My wife walks out and the first words out of her mouth was "your going to cut yourself" Now, I had been out there for over an hour with no injuries but as soon as she said it, boom, the knife slipped and I punctured the side of my foot. I looked at her and she said "see, I told you so". I looked down and there was a small stream of blood pumping out with each beat of my heart. Great, I punctured a vein or artery. So I told my lovely wife
to get her keys, we have to go to the ER. I go waddling out to the car, bent over holding pressure on the wound. Looked like something out of a comedy skit.Moving on to the second part, we arrive at the ER and of course you check in and they ask what happened. I told them, they write it down. Then a nurse comes and does vitals and she asks what happened. I told her and she writes it down. Then they take me to a room and another nurse comes in to take a look. She asks what happened, I told her and she wrote it down. Then a PA comes in, takes a look, asks again and I told again and she wrote it down. Now, this is 4 different people that have asked and written down the same answer. By this time I am feeling a bit ornery. My wife is picking up on this as we are both laughing that no one can read the others writing. Then the doc comes in and, yep, you guessed it, he asked what happened AS HE IS READING MY CHART. I cant resist in being a smart alack at this point so I say, well doc, I thought I would just end it all. He puts down the chart he was reading, looks at me very sternly, and says Mr. Brown, how long have you been having the suicidal feelings. My wife lost it laughing out loud which caused me to start laughing. I had to explain to him that in no way was I trying to off myself other than having to tell the same story over and over, and I asked him if any of them even read what the other puts in the notes. I think I must have upset all of them because it took 1 stitch to close the wound and even though I saw them put a liquid in a syringe and inject it into my foot to deaden the pain, I think it was just saline as it didn't deaden anything.
Proof doctors have no sense of humor.
